An opera singer meets her greatest teacher in a Manhattan pet store. In Learning to Live with Fritz, author E. Rawlins tells the story of her chaotic relationship with Frizbee, an eight pound nut case who is in reality an ill-tempered angel in a hairy disguise. In her humorous and self critical memoir fifteen years of non-stop travel take the dizzy diva and her high maintenance mascot to Paris, Brussels, Tokyo, Vienna, Salzburg, Milan, London and back to the Big Apple. Along the way they captivate a handsome young baritone on his personal journey to international operatic celebrity. As the drama unfolds, the idea of love at first sight reveals itself to be anything but a romantic illusion. Fritz upstages and controls his mistress through his rigidly enforced rules and regulations, his antics, his irascible charm and oftentimes through his bizarre otherworldly connections. This is a memoir of a narcissistic would-be diva and a dog who is dead serious about teaching her to give up her illusions, to live authentically . . . and above all, to learn the meaning of unconditional love.

LEARNING TO LIVE WITH FRITZ

DISGRUNTLED ANGEL IN A HAIRY DISGUISEBy E. RAWLINS

iUniverse, Inc.

Copyright © 2012 E. Rawlins
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4759-3236-2

Contents

Introduction...............................................................................ixPart I Learning to Live with Fritz........................................................xv1 The Making of One Dizzy Diva............................................................12 Meeting the Big Guy.....................................................................53 Frizbee's Predecessors..................................................................84 The Beginning...........................................................................165 Name the Puppy, Train the Puppy.........................................................206 Professional Puppy Training.............................................................297 Meeting Dr Del..........................................................................348 The Fourth Rule.........................................................................389 Analyzing the Boss-Dog Personality—Early Contributing Factors.....................4110 Boss Dog I—Precious, Precocious, Precarious......................................4811 Boss Dog II—Fishpond Psychic.....................................................5212 A Devilishly Clever Disguise...........................................................5413 Approaching Pedestrians................................................................5914 Frizbee Meets His Master...............................................................6115 Our Adventuresome Lifestyle............................................................6416 One Crazy Little Dog...................................................................6717 Frizbee's Virtues......................................................................8918 Emotional Entanglements................................................................9719 Frizbee Stories........................................................................10420 Final Countdown........................................................................14221 Exeunt Omnes...........................................................................152Frizbee's Photo Gallery....................................................................157Part II Learning to Live without Him......................................................16722 Abhorring the Vacuum....................................................................16923 Signs and Signals: Metaphysics or Wishful Thinking......................................173Epilogue Cathedral Rock Visitation........................................................185Acknowledgments............................................................................195

Chapter One

The Making of One Dizzy Diva

Let's talk about love at first sight. Sometimes it is real, and other times it is an idea that can get you into lot of trouble. I was born impatient. I had swept out of Ohio at age eighteen into the wide world of opera. I was in a hurry to make a name for myself and escape what I thought would be a dull, humdrum life in the Midwest. After winning many vocal competitions, completing studies in two prestigious music schools, and with a Fulbright-Hays Grant in my pocket, all I wanted was Europe. I wanted stardom! I had the looks, the talent, and the will to win a fabulous career for myself. I did win for quite a while. Singing was my life, and I had little room for anything (or anyone) other than musical scores, practice sessions, rehearsals, and performances of the operas I loved. I left a string of broken hearts (oftentimes my own), always feeling the necessity to sacrifice all for my art.

Yes, I was a would-be diva with a very good start on an operatic future, a chance to grab that golden ring, true diva status—if I could only hold to the course I had set out upon. My star potential looked promising; already quite successful and engaged for a leading role at the Salzburg Festival, I had contracts with the San Francisco Opera and two full years of guest engagements in Germany, France, and Belgium. After years of sacrificing my personal life for my art, and at the peak of this upward swing, L'amour sauntered up the aisle and settled in beside me on an airplane ride neither the enchanting businessman nor the enchanted soprano would ever forget. Mr. Right chatted me up for twelve full hours on the long overseas flight from Zurich. He wrote a clever limerick (extolling my virtues) on a soggy cocktail napkin. I gave up. I gave in. I could not resist him.

Believe it or not, the charming and charismatic man persuaded me that I could easily continue my career from California, and by the time we landed at the San Francisco Airport, I thought this sounded like a perfectly reasonable idea. He had not yet proposed marriage, but my fantasies were flying. I could be married and sing too! I could live happily ever after in sunny California. I was sure I was in love. Twelve hours of hard sell from one of the West Coast's most successful investment advisers had turned my life around. Yes! Life was good. What could go wrong?

What could go wrong? Plenty, as it turned out, but that story is too involved to tell here. Let's just say that both parties had acutely overestimated their good fortune and leave it at that. This wild infatuation and eventual marriage took me far away, stopped the thrust of my discipline, and sabotaged the hard work it had taken to establish myself in Europe as a respected young soprano. Magic thinking carried me off on wings of delight to my optimistic future. The initial two years were filled with exciting activities. I enjoyed the laid-back California lifestyle while alternately buzzing (sometimes twice a month) back to Europe to sing. My life was looking good, although adjusting to my new and (surprise!) subordinate role as the wife of a busy executive was not easy. Flying solo for so many years and then being suddenly thrust into a "Honey, where are my socks?" situation, well, no diva gives up her place in the pecking order without a battle.

Combining this wifely job with my contractual obligations turned out to be far more complicated than I had imagined, but still I was able to convince myself that I was living a full life and, most of all, that I was happy. Each singing engagement required a flight to Europe. Jetting back and forth kept my brain in a sort of suspended animation. The nine-hour time warp severely limited the concentration I needed for practicing my singing technique regularly. A thoughtful old opera director had once reminded me, "You can't sit on two chairs, darling. Being in love is a breathtaking experience, but forgetting to practice is the beginning of the end." This proved to be all too true, but I continued on my collision course and hoped for a miracle.

As those first two years drew to a close, my life was so inundated with problem-solving situations that I hardly noticed that the offers from opera houses where I had previously established myself were no longer forthcoming. When I woke up nearly ten years later to the fact that my life in California was just about to give the coup de grâce to my diva ambitions, I became exhausted and depressed. The forward motion of my career had slowed to a few offers for world premieres written by elite but relatively unknown composers. These events, although highly publicized, proved to be a dead-end...