It's a startling statistic. Fifty percent of first-time marriages will end in divorce. Most people start a marriage by living happily ever after, but they often fail to maintain that status. In The Ten Laws of Happily Ever After, author and relationship coach Trevor J. Dimick presents ten universal laws of life that will provide couples with the principles to create a satisfying, long-term marriage full of love. By following the principles presented in Dimick's guide, couples can repair a broken marriage, fortify a strong marriage, help prevent broken families, and create blissful, lasting relationships. He communicates that the key to creating strong marriages revolves around ten universal laws: ¿ The Law of Choice ¿ The Law of Symptoms ¿ The Law of Kingdoms ¿ The Law of Change ¿ The Law of Focus ¿ The Law of Needs, Wants, and Expectations ¿ The Law of Love ¿ The Law of Communication ¿ The Law of Side Effects ¿ The Law of Marriage The Ten Laws of Happily Ever After strives to create a better world by strengthening marriages and families everywhere. Everyone deserves to live happily ever after.
The 10 Laws of Happily Ever After
The Secret to a Satisfying MarriageBy Trevor J. DimickTrafford Publishing
Copyright © 2011 Trevor J. Dimick
All right reserved.ISBN: 978-1-4269-5392-7Contents
Preface..................................................................viiNote to the Reader.......................................................ixIntroduction.............................................................xiChapter 1: Universal Laws................................................1Chapter 2: The Law of Choice.............................................5Chapter 3: The Law of Symptoms...........................................11Chapter 4: The Law of Kingdoms...........................................19Chapter 5: The Law of Change.............................................27Chapter 6: The Law of Focus..............................................39Chapter 7: The Law of Needs, Wants, and Expectations.....................49Chapter 8: The Law of Love...............................................59Chapter 9: The Law of Communication......................................69Chapter 10: The Law of Side Effects......................................77Chapter 11: The Law of Marriage..........................................85Conclusion...............................................................93A Personal Word..........................................................95
Chapter One
Universal Laws
How many times have we seen a news report of someone being run over by a train after failing to stop the train with their bare hands? I hope our answer is never. Why is the news filled with stories about people doing unintelligent things, but never trying to stop a train with their bare hands? Trying to stop a train with our bare hands is an act that contradicts a universal law of physics known as the laws of motion. The law of motion is well known and understood by all. It is taught in schools, sports, and life. Universally, the act of trying to stop a train with our bare hands is considered unintelligent. Whereas drinking and driving is only considered stupid by those who are sober. This is why we never see a news report of someone trying to stop a train with their bare hands, but will often see news reports of drunk driving. The law of motion is universally accepted as stupid, whereas drinking and driving is only accepted as stupid by the sober.
Universal laws are found throughout every part of life. Universal laws of mathematics include the laws of addition and subtraction. No matter where you go in the world, 1 + 1 = 2. Physics includes universal laws such as motion and gravity. We learn about universal laws of science and mathematics in school. The universal laws of life are not taught in school.
Some people may argue that laws limit or control us and our ability to succeed. The truth is that freedom to succeed can only exist within the limits of laws. A good example of this would be traffic laws. One could not successfully get from Point A to Point B safely without traffic laws. Stop signs, yellow lines, and speed limits all give us the freedom to successfully go where we want.
Universal laws exist in every discipline of life and must be followed in order to achieve success in that discipline, for example:
? Gravity and motion are laws of physics (laws required to fly). ? Addition and subtraction are laws of mathematics (laws required to balance your bank account). ? Interest and wealth are laws of finances (laws required to create wealth). ? Choice and change are laws of success (laws required to achieve success). ? Focus and love are laws of marriage (laws required for Happily Ever After).
Universal laws apply to everyone—there are no exceptions. Everyone who jumps out of an airplane will fall to the ground. Anyone who subtracts more than they add to their bank account will overdraft their account. Everyone who can achieve desired change will achieve success.
Happily Ever After can only be achieved by following the universal laws of Happily Ever After.
Chapter Two
The Law of Choice
The law of choice states that two paths diverge from one. Which one will you follow? Every second of every day, we are presented with a choice. Choosing to be married is not a onetime choice we made on our wedding day, but a choice that we make every day. Every second of every day, we choose which path to follow. One path leads to our true north—the other leads to our magnetic north.
Our True North Path
Our true north is what we want out of life. It is what will truly bring us success, joy, and abundance. The path of our true north creates a life full of success, peace, satisfaction, joy, and abundance. When we are following our true north path, we are in control of our lives. When we are in control of our lives every second of every day, we are consciously responding to the choice presented to us in a way to support what we want. When we are in control of our lives, we create the lives we want. Happily Ever After is found on our true north path. This is why we choose to get married. We believe that marrying our prince or princess will bring us success, joy, and abundance. No one says "I do" because he or she wants to be miserable for the rest of his or her life. Yet, too often, marriage becomes miserable because we choose to follow our magnetic north.
Our Magnetic North Path
Magnetic north is also called our automatic or natural north. This path is the result of the automatic or natural reactions that we make every second of every day. Every second of every day, we are presented with choices; some of these choices are made consciously, others are made unconsciously as a result of our habits, routines, present thoughts, and emotions. Magnetic north satisfies our short-term lusts and desires and fosters selfishness, the cancer of all relationships. Our magnetic north creates a life full of frustration, deception, instant gratification, long-term regret, hopelessness, and stress. When we follow our magnetic north, our actions are an automatic reaction to our environment. We give up our freedom to respond and automatically react based on our current thoughts, emotions, routines, or habits. We give control of our lives to our environment. When our environment has control of our lives, we end up with whatever life gives us.
True North vs. Magnetic North
The needle on a compass always points toward magnetic north. The difference between true north and magnetic north on a compass varies only a few degrees. If we were to vary our course a few degrees while crossing the street, it would not change our end result. Varying our course a few degrees while flying from California to New York would cause us to completely miss our end result. We would never reach our desired destination. When it comes to marriage, we often start out headed in the right direction, but we allow our course to vary a few degrees, which at the time does not seem to affect our end results on a day-to-day basis. Over time, this small day-to-day variance in our course puts us farther away from our desired results. Before we know it, we wake up one morning and realize that our Happily Ever After is gone. We look back and think we were young, stupid, and blinded with love. We come to the realization that we are stuck with the marriage we have and the only way out is divorce. We can choose to survive or endure our current...