A Labor of Love: How to Write a Eulogy

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Auszug. © Genehmigter Nachdruck. Alle Rechte vorbehalten.: Writing and delivering a eulogy is a noble gesture that is worthy of thought and effort. This is an opportunity to make a contribution to the memorial servicea contribution that your friends and family will remember for a long time. You will not regret the effort that it takes.

You Can Do It. This is a difficult time for you. You may find it difficult to concentrate. Be assured, however, that you can write a eulogy and deliver it. Just follow the steps that you will be given and in an hour or so you will have completed a first draft.

For now, keep a positive frame of mind about it. Realize that everyone who will attend the memorial service will be with you 100 percent. They will support you and appreciate your efforts. Don't worry about delivering a perfect speech. No one expects you to have the delivery of a great orator or the stage presence of an actor. Just be you; that is enough.

How To Use This Book If you have very little timeor are not confident about your writing abilityyou can go immediately to the Questions section on page six and then to the Helpful Phrases on page 11. These will enable you to put something together very quickly.

If you can take some time to write the eulogyand perhaps be a bit more creativethen read and work through the book from start to finish.

What A Eulogy Should Accomplish

Some people think a eulogy should be an objective summation of a loved one's life. Some people think it should speak for everyone who is present at the funeral. Both of these assumptions are unrealistic.

A eulogy is much more simple. It should convey the feelings and experiences of the person giving the eulogy. The most touching and meaningful eulogies are written from a subjective point of viewand from the heart. So don't feel compelled to write the person's life story. Instead, tell your story.

Clearly, the burden of the eulogy does not have to be yours completely. If you have the time, ask friends or relatives for their recollections and stories. In a eulogy, it is perfectly acceptable to say, "I was talking to Uncle Lenny about Ron; he reminded me of the time Ron came to our Thanksgiving dinner with half of his face clean-shaven and the other half bearded. It was Ron's funny way of showing that he had mixed feelings about shaving off his beard."

Honesty is very important. In most cases, there will be a lot of positive things to say about your loved one. Once in a while, there is someone with more negative traits than positive qualities. If that is the case, remember, you don't have to say everything. Just be honest about the positive qualities and everyone will appreciate the eulogy.

Remember, you do not have to write a perfect eulogy. Whatever you write will be appreciated by the people at the funeral. If you are inclined to be a perfectionist, lower your expectations and just do what you can given the short time-frame and your emotional state.