CHAPTER 1

A Woman of Value

When a kingdom woman begins her day, heaven, earth, and hell take notice.When she nurtures and advises the man she loves, he can do little to resisther. When she offers care, comfort, and encouragement to her friends and relatives,they are able to go farther, faster, and in confidence because of her inspirationand reassurance. "Her children rise up and call her blessed" (Proverbs31:28, ESV). Other women turn to her for wise counsel and a compassionateear. Her church relies on her faithful service. She is a vital contributor to cultureand a gatekeeper at her home to keep out the negative and promote the positive.

When we examine the history of the Christian faith, kingdom women(both married and single) are everywhere. Kingdom women throughout theBible saved lives and nations. It was Jochebed who intervened on behalf ofher son Moses (Exodus 2). Because of her watchful protection, Moses was laterused as the deliverer of Israel (Exodus 3). It was Moses' wife, Zipporah, whosaved Moses' life when God was going to punish him for his refusal to followa simple command (Exodus 4:24–26). Esther's bravery gave the opportunityfor the Jewish people to defend themselves from what would have been utterannihilation (Esther 7–8). Ruth's refusal to return to her own people becauseof her dedication to her mother-in-law, Naomi, led to the ongoing line of theMessiah (Ruth 4:18–22). Rahab was instrumental in the victory of Israel overJericho (Joshua 2). Mary carried God's Son in her womb (Luke 1:30–35).

The clearest profile of a kingdom woman that I have ever found in theBible is in Proverbs 31. What is interesting, though, is that in all of my studyof Scripture, I have never found a corollary passage for men as Proverbs 31 isfor women. It could be that men need the whole Bible to get it right, whilewomen just need a chapter.

The Proverbs 31 woman is the hallmark of kingdom women. I like to callher a woman for all seasons. She is strong, intelligent, capable, giving, resourceful,efficient, spiritually minded, and much more.

Now, don't close this book just yet. I know that sounds like she is a perfectwoman, and you may feel that her standard is set too high to actually reach.But the Proverbs 31 woman is not the model of a perfect woman. Neither is akingdom woman called to perfection.

Let's use a stay-at-home mom as just oneexample. A kingdom woman is not someonewho can multitask perfectly while also home-schoolingthree very different children, servingon four church committees, carpoolingeleven neighborhood kids back and forth tosoccer, keeping her home spotless, coachingthe spelling-bee team, functioning as a killerCEO in the workplace, making her husbandhave the best night of his life each and everyevening, and maintaining a size 6 figurewell into her fifties—all while cooking onlyorganic, nongenetically modified foods and making every meal from scratch.

That woman doesn't exist. And we didn't put this book together to makeyou think that you should be her either. In fact, from my experience pastoringa church for nearly four decades and spending thousands of hours counselingboth women and men, the issue is often that women are trying to do toomuch—and all at once.

Women, you can be a Proverbs 31 woman and more—but that doesn'tmean you do it all at the same time.

One of the most important principles for you as a kingdom woman is thatyour life flows through different seasons. Each of these seasons carries withit different time constraints, blessings, and demands. To try to do all thingswithout being cognizant of the season you are in is the surest way to burnoutand even bitterness.

The primary foundation of being a kingdom woman doesn't include a milliondifferent things done a million different ways. The primary foundation isactually simple and straightforward. It is located at the end of Proverbs 31. Afterlisting everything that this particular woman did, the verse says,

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.Give her the reward she has earned,and let her works bring her praise at the city gate. (Verses 30–31)

What sets a kingdom woman apart from any other woman boils down toher fear of God. Her reverence determines her actions, thoughts, words, andpriorities. Without that, the demands of life would overwhelm any woman.

Fear the Lord

A woman who fears the Lord will receive the praise that is due her. Her worksand the products of her hands will give her the recognition and validationthat are hers alone. When a woman understands who she is and how Godmade her—when she pursues her destinyin light of how God created her tofunction—what she does will produceremarkable results. This is because itwill be in line with God's will. What toomany women frequently do is base theirdecisions on trying to please others, ortrying to earn acceptance, appreciation,or a sense of worth from their decisions,appearance, or actions. Yet God neversaid that you would receive praise for tryingto please others.

The basis of how a kingdom woman functions comes out of her fear ofGod. How she prioritizes her home and family, organizes her life,...