COMPLETE AND FULLY FREE

The Main Point

Kingdom singles are already complete and able to fully maximize that completeness by willingly placing themselves under the rule of God and living within His boundaries of freedom.

The Gathering

To find out more about the kingdom single's completeness, read the following excerpt from Kingdom Single. If you have time, answer the questions that appear at the end of the selection. Or you can finish the section at home.

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He Completes You

If you're looking for a romantic partner to complete you as a kingdom single, you really don't understand what Jesus Christ has already done. Because in Him, you are as complete as complete comes. Now, you may not realize that truth. You may not identify with that truth. And if you don't, you're not living out the full benefits of that truth. But none of those things makes the truth any less true. Colossians 2:10 tells us, "In Him you have been made complete, and He is the head over all rule and authority." To think otherwise is to make the institution of marriage, and your desire for a marriage partner, an idol. And idolatry is sin.

Friend, Jesus Christ completes you. That's the truth. Thus, what a romantic partner can provide must remain outside of that, in addition to it, or alongside it. He or she cannot complete you because Jesus already has. If you are not aware or mindful of this reality, there's a danger that you will be expecting too much of another human being, asking him or her to be or do something that only God Himself can be and do.

Far too often, we try to transfer what we see in movies to our real lives. But that places pressure on us and the other people in our lives to live up to a standard we were never designed to fulfill.

As you grow in your understanding, discovery, and acceptance of your completeness in Jesus Christ, you will experience the victory, authority, and intimacy He has already secured for you in Him. You will then be freed up to experience other relationships at a level they were designed for....

Relational issues arise when the focus of either person (or both) shifts from God to each other as the deciding factor, influencer, or even source of completion. That's exactly what happened in the Garden of Eden, after all, which led to the Fall.

Only when you understand and embrace the truth that Christ Himself completes you will you be able to view any current or potential relationship for what it can actually provide — a companion to come alongside you. You'll be amazed at how fulfilling and satisfying a relationship can be when expectations are normalized, the benefit of the doubt (coupled with grace) becomes natural, and you both look to God to lead, fill, satisfy, and complete you.

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If someone were to ask you to define "being single," what would you say? In what ways has our culture influenced your definition of singleness? Why does singleness seem to be a negative to many people? Why do so many single Christians consider themselves incomplete?

Show Time!

In session 1 of the Kingdom Single Group Video Experience, Dr. Tony Evans lays out the first principle in our study: As a kingdom single, you are already complete.

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After viewing Tony Evans' presentation "Complete and Fully Free," use the following questions to help you think through what you saw and heard.

1. Dr. Evans referred to Colossians 2:10 to emphasize our completeness in Christ: "In Him you have been made complete, and He is the head over all rule and authority." What does it mean to be complete in Christ?

Describe the connection between completeness in Christ and alignment under His rule.

What consequences could Christians face when they choose to make decisions outside of His overarching rule?

2. Dr. Evans said that as long as you continue to view yourself as "incomplete" as a single, you will cause yourself to constantly focus on what you lack — rather than on all you have. Describe what can happen when two "incomplete" people wind up together in a dating or marriage relationship.

Tony Evans said that one reason many marriages break up is that there are too many singles getting married who didn't first learn what it means to be "completely single." What does it mean to be "completely single"?

3. Which of the following areas have caused you to feel the most "incomplete" as a single? Check the boxes that apply or write in your own.

[] financial freedom

[] lack of pure sexual engagement

[] social life

[] church events or church groups organized by marital status

[] life chores (fixing things, mowing the lawn, etc.)

[] companionship needs

[] conversations about marriage or spouses

[] household responsibilities handled yourself

[] vacations

[] long-term planning

[] attending events (even at church) or dining alone

[] movies, songs, or other forms of entertainment that emphasize couples

[] other __________________________________________________

[] other __________________________________________________

[] other __________________________________________________

While each of these areas can prove to be a challenge, God promises to supply your every need when you look to Him. Have you ever experienced God's provision in any of the areas listed above through someone other than a spouse? Describe that experience.

Do you thank God for meeting your needs as a single even when He does so in unconventional ways, or do you take it for granted? Explain your answer.

4. Dr. Evans shared Adam's call to "cultivate" the Garden (Genesis 2:15). He used this as an example of freely maximizing your life (time, talents, and treasures) within the context of relationship with God. In what ways was Adam's life in the Garden a life of freedom?

God gave Adam one restriction: He must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. According to Dr. Evans, how did that restriction affect Adam's freedom?

What "garden" has God given you to "cultivate"? Are you fully faithful in doing so or are there ways you can do more?

5. List some of the things singles often tell themselves that keep them from freely engaging their time, talents, and treasures for the purposes of God.

Have you ever fallen prey to any of these thoughts? Describe the result.

10. Dr. Evans says that kingdom singles are unmarried believers who have committed themselves to fully and freely maximizing their completeness under the rule of God. Look at the following list and check the boxes of some of the ways a person can maximize his or her completeness. Also write in your own responses.

[] traveling

[] binge-watching Netflix

[] shopping

[] taking personal development courses

[] volunteering to help the disadvantaged

[] learning new skills

[]...