The Jump: Stories for Uncertain Times

With a sensibility somewhere between Stephen King, Chuck Palahniuk, and Franz Kafka, The Jump – Stories for Uncertain Times combines striking writing, dark humor, and a deep sense of irony that can leave readers both shaken and stirred.Sample quotes: A Question for the Rabbi: “Why me?” Ethan asked. “Why me?”He had asked Dr. Levine, and Dr. Levine just sat there. “Why you?” he said. “Why anyone? Why not you? That’s the question that being a doctor doesn’t give me answers to. I love helping people. But I can’t help you, and that’s driving me crazy. Why you? Why me? Why did you have to be my patient?” Meine Yiddische Barbie: Kishkas, tuchas, chutzpah, schmuck, dreck, bupkis. All these strange words just flying about… What a torrent of conversation, of kvetching, of noodging, of angsting! They loved to schmooze. There were no awkward moments of silence, not even a second of silence…Sheila Barbie loved it all. The talk, the energy, the arguments. With the other Barbies, she had never argued at all. And back then, who knew from politics? Rudolph at Rest – A Christmas Story: Growing up wasn’t always easy for Rudolph. His nose was oversized and the other reindeer at school called him all sorts of names – “snot-nose,” “wart hog,” “clown face,” “freak” – and basically treated him like shit.Yeah, you know the story. One foggy Christmas Eve and all that… At the end of the night, they all had to acknowledge that they couldn’t have done it without him. And so they warmed up to him, sort of. Rudolph, however, wasn’t ready to forgive and forget. He knew damn well what a bunch of bastards they all were.Would You Die for Me?:“ ‘Would you die for me?’ It’s a simple question.“Let’s say you were sitting here in the living room and there was a knock at the door and you answered it and this strange skeleton-man in a black robe with a black hood was there and said to you, ‘I am Death, and I am here to see Kaley.’ Would you say, ‘Oh, she’s in the kitchen,’ or would you say, ‘She’s not here, won’t you take me instead?’ Which would you do?” The Jump:Ernst did spot one item that caught his attention. It was about a forest named Aokigahara in Japan… famous as “The Suicide Forest.” A continuing flow of people go there as an ideal setting to kill themselves. Some simply go there and take pills. More often, however, they use the picturesque tree limbs to hang themselves…As Ernst thought about all this, he realized that there was an opportunity to create a compelling stage for people who wanted to kill themselves. The Barbie Massacre:There it was, Curvy Barbie in all her realistic glory. “What about this one?” Liana smiled as she held out the box. “It looks a lot more real than the others.”Tammi may have been fat, but she was not dumb. She saw exactly what her mother was saying to her – but most importantly, about her. She was not worthy of a “real” Barbie – those were reserved for her friends, some of whom, to be sure, had no worries about weight, and others whose parents were simply not freaking out about messages that the dolls were sending. Tammi just wanted a Barbie that would fit in with the sleek and beautiful Barbies that all her friends had. - The Book of Eve:Eve watched as Adam ate the fruit in his mouth. He was going through a range of expressions that began with fear and moved to curiosity and then to something more. He stood there for a moment as the effects began to take hold. He had never felt anything like this before. The Garden of Eden wasn’t Paradise, this was.Adam looked at Eve again. Oh my God, are those boobs?https://peterhempel.wixsite.com/peterhempel