CHAPTER 1

Joy

SHE WROTE ME first when she said, "It is very important forme to find a man who has your abilities and your feelings for thewomen of this World. When, I read your Facebook Profile, I knewthat you might very well be that special person for me.

So, I ask you, "Can we become better friends? I want to get toknow you better if that is possible and if you are willing to take thetime that will allow us to become better friends or, should I say, thebest of two close friends for each other's private pleasure."

Her first E-mail arrived at a time when I was drowning in myown sorrow about my dear wife's departure because of ovariancancer in 2010. She mentioned that she was still grieving the tragicloss of her husband as the result of an awful car accident whichhappened three years previously.

So, at the beginning of our mutual discovery of each other, wewere on common ground as both a widow and a widower. It seemedsomehow appropriate that we would be ideal pen pals when it cameto our common grief and the recovery process there from.

I was a prime candidate to help her and, likewise, she was asuperb choice to help me with my own pain. Pain had united us and,through additional pain, we would one day part. But, until our breakup time occurs, I pleaded for continuance of our connection. I hada few years left and I wanted to share them with both her and herdaughter, Ruby.

My first attempt at poetry for my dear Belinda was structuredaround my own feelings and I prayed that she would approve andaccept my sincere words to her which were written for her and heralone. One has to begin somewhere and, for the two of us, I beganwith these heartfelt words about my own sentiments.

She replied to me that she was not yet assured. She asked mefor more information regarding my stability. I assumed that shewondered how well I weathered our tropical storms so I wrote herback the following:

Let me explain something about my latest love, Belinda. She hasa Degree in Marine Engineering and she has served her employerfor twelve faithful years as the Chief of Operations. Her work placesher at great risk because she is always riding the high and mightyseas through thick and thin.

Each trip back and forth on her container ship from her homeport in the UK to the different harbors of the Western hemisphereis full of fright and concernment that her World might just suddenlyend, especially during the stormy days and nights for this time ofthe year. What a brave person she is to take on such dangerousassignments and for the likes of others, both Ruby and me.

I used to think that such seamanship services belonged onlyto only strong, stout men. But, but now, I know better. If a bonnielassie wants to do something bad enough, this Auld Tyme sayingwill apply.

She wrote me back to say, "No, that's not what I meant when Iasked you about your stability. I know that you have a strong abilityto resist all dangerous external effects. Every good writer has to befirm and resolute or his novels would never be completed. It is easyfor a writer to quit and harder for an author to continue, each daywith all things considered.

What I want to know about your stability involves the mannerin which you stand against any and all temptations. Are you firmlyagainst alcohol, drugs and cigarettes? Do you ever waver and relentwhen you are in a deep depression? Do you write on a daily basisor do you go for days and weeks without being able to write anywords? Where do you stand on the matter of firmness?

I wrote her back to say the following:

And, for good measure, I added these subsequent sayings, "Idon't do drugs because I believe that my body is one of God's manytemples which should not be abused in that manner." Further, I said,"I am at my computer every morning after breakfast trying to createa new book which will outsell all of my other books. It's a chase thatusually requires 8-10 hours per day and almost seven days of everyweek."

But, when it came to her question about 'firmness', I wasstymied. Do you reckon that she was talking about sex? Or was itmore about my ability to resist stress or pressure? I told her that Iwas as steady as any other strong-willed man and that I was resolutein all of my endeavors. But, I didn't add very much about my lowtestosterone. I am an eighty-one year old man and I believe that I amentitled to at least one secret, correct?

Apparently, she had received enough words that spoke aboutstability, because in her next E-mail, she inquired about 'security'.Quickly, I consulted my dictionary to discover the true meaningsabout the word, 'security'. According to Mr. Webster, these were theassociated definitions:

(1) The quality or state of being secure.

(2) Freedom from danger.

(3) Freedom from fear,

(4) Freedom from anxiety.

(5) Freedom from want.

(6) Freedom from deprivation.

(7) The ability to fulfill an obligation.

(8) Something given, deposited or pledged to fulfillan existing obligation.

(9) Facts about outstanding debts and ownership.

(10) Measures...