Who are Ian and Eli Gehardi?

From Lisa's Journal:

Hans and I have been married for seven years without children. My first three pregnancies failed for various reasons beyond my full understanding. I recall how excited Hans and I would get when I missed my monthly cycle. We would make an appointment with the OB/GYN and pray that the pregnancy could be confirmed and the child brought to term. Sadly, that never happened. I became angry at the world because I couldn't carry a pregnancy to term. Like many women, I blame myself for the failures and I carried my sorrow deep within me.

I would always keep a smile on my face and a loving attitude towards Hans. I would never want Hans to see the disappointment that I was feeling because I couldn't have children.

Hans and I entertained all of the pregnancy options from fertility classes to possible in vitro fertilization. The fertility doctor had Hans participate in sperm counts and we both learned to follow calendars and body temperatures for ovulation.

We wanted to be pregnant so badly that we were open to trying anything that might make a pregnancy possible.

I am always quick to explain that I love Hans and he is a good man and a good husband. I can't help feeling like I have a lot of room left in my heart for a child to share our lives.

I pray daily asking God for help in getting pregnant.

Despite doing everything our fertility doctor told us to do, Hans and I remain without a child.

Hans and I did like so many disappointed couples do; we gave up on having a child and decided that we would be each other's best friend for life. I feel fortunate because I have a loving and understanding husband that supports me unconditionally and accepts the premise that we will be, and unfortunately remain a childless couple.

From Hans' Journal

I am very happy with Lisa. I met her in graduate school and we fell in love and were married. I can accept a childless life so long as I have my loving wife at my side. We must look at God's will in our lives.

At one point, when Lisa was feeling really down on herself, I reminded her that we give birth to beautiful music scores. Maybe God wants us to remain focused on our music.

From Lisa's Journal:

I listened to my loving husband and God's plan in our lives. I love our music, but I feel a little lonely without a child when our friends all have children. I never know what to talk about because we have no shared experiences. I feel empty when I see children playing and often ask God why I can't have a child too.

From Hans' Journal

I can see Lisa's depression deepening and I am worried about her because of her sadness and my understanding of why she is so sad. I am not sure what to do to help Lisa except to keep showing her my unconditional love.

I suggested to Lisa that we play our music together. I love to hear you play the flute.

I heard Lisa begin to cry and I felt her disappointment and even some of her general anger. Lisa told me that it isn't fair that God would deprive us of a child. Why does God not favor us with a child?

I replied that if God's plan in our lives is to have a child, then you will get pregnant and have a child.

I decided that it was time that Lisa and I consider a small vacation and get away from our house and discussions about getting pregnant. I asked Lisa to put the pregnancy request at the foot of the cross and let our Lord decide what is best for our marriage and our lives. I am also concerned about Lisa, especially when she won't accept music. I have booked us a room for three days at the beach. I am looking forward to the quiet and calm of the ocean.

From Lisa's Journal:

I began keeping a personal journal. Hans and I stayed at the beach and we celebrated our lives and our marriage. We thanked God for all the blessings we had received in our lives to date and for those blessings yet to come in the future.

One of our many blessings is that Hans and I are gifted musicians. We write music for movies, stage theater and television. We are very successful composers and we truly love music. It fills our life with joy, but never like a child would fill our lives.

I often thought that quite possibly God intended Hans and I to be childless and to focus on our music. There I go again rationalizing why I can't have a child.

Hans would hold me daily and reassure me that if children were part of God's plan for our lives, then I would get pregnant and deliver. To that end, every night I asked God that I get pregnant so Hans and I can share our lives with a child.

[Two weeks post beach trip]

I noticed that I did not have my monthly cycle. I was excited and wondered if I was really pregnant. I fantasized about a pregnancy, but feared telling Hans because of the disappointment I know he felt when I lost my first three pregnancies.

I may actually be pregnant. I am terrified to tell Hans, or to see an OB/GYN, for fear that the pregnancy will be jinxed. I have decided to keep the possible pregnancy to myself until I feel that I know for sure. I do not want to get Hans' hope up if this is a false pregnancy again.

I missed my second month's cycle as well. MAYBE!

I have decided to tell Hans. I held Hans and quietly told him that he is going to be a father. I watched Hans nervously touch my abdomen and he asked, "My love, are you really pregnant?"

I said that I think I am pregnant. I have missed two menstrual cycles and I am feeling some changes occurring in my body. This time I feel different than before. I am certain that we are pregnant and I am so excited.

Hans and I thanked God for the opportunity to fulfill our dream of becoming parents, if that was truly God's will for our lives. Hans and I agreed that I would see the OB/GYN right away and verify our pregnancy.

I have never been so afraid of bad news in my life. After all, it was the doctor that told me that my first three pregnancies had failed. I fear what the doctor might say this time.

I called and scheduled an appointment with Dr. Knowles; an OB/ GYN. I looked to Hans and said that he was going with me because I can't face this alone. I don't want Dr. Knowles to tell me that it is a false pregnancy, or that something is wrong with the pregnancy or me. If he is going to say something like that, then I want him to tell you; not me.

Hans and I arrived for our 2:00 pm appointment.

From Hans' Journal

Lisa was so frightened that I couldn't get her to stop crying. She shook and kept telling me that she couldn't face another loss of a child.

Lisa and I heard the receptionist tell Dr. Knowles that his next patient is a basket case. She hasn't stopped crying since she arrived at the clinic.

Dr. Knowles personally welcomed Lisa and me to the medical clinic. He was a kind, soft spoken doctor in his sixties. Dr. Knowles' demeanor helped Lisa to calm down enough to begin her appointment.

Dr. Knowles asked why Lisa was so upset.

I replied that we have had three failed pregnancies and Lisa is terrified that you will tell her that this pregnancy will fail too.

Lisa was able to talk about her prior pregnancies and what had happened, or at least what she had been told. Lisa described in detail everything we did in order to get pregnant before giving up on the idea.

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