WHAT DO YOU LONG FOR?

Encouraging Word:You can slow down your life.

Everyday Step:Jot down a list of words you would like to describe your life.

Hurry belongs to the evil one.—Ancient Arabian proverb

Many of us dash from one activity to another, worrying all the while about what else we should be doing. We need simple and practical ways to begin to change, ideas that work with our busy schedules. Despite many good things in our lives and various kinds of success, nothing seems quite right. We are stressed, tense, and fretful—about money, work, schedules, children, relationships, and the future. Daily we struggle, frantically trying to balance work and home.

When we pause for even a moment, we realize deep inside that this is not the way God intended for us to spend our precious days—nor the way we planned to live our lives.

Amazingly, here—in our craziest, busiest moments—is where we decide to live more fully. It starts with a tiny thought.

Now and then, we let ourselves wonder—sometimes for just a moment or two—if our lives could be different. Could we enjoy each day more? In our rush, we decide fairly quickly that we can't slow down. Other people might be able to change their lives, but not us. We are too busy to learn how to slow down, too worried to relax.

Be encouraged. You can change. Life can be more meaningful, less hurried and less worried, even for you. The most frenzied person can learn to slow down and find more peace and pleasure in life.

You can begin to change almost immediately—yes, even you, the person who feels like he or she does not have time to be reading this book. Quick and specific steps can help shape the life you are meant to live, not the one into which you have somehow slid.

These techniques can work in your busy, everyday world by taking one step at a time to a calmer and more enjoyable way of life. You do not have to hide under the bed or run away from home.

Using "Found Moments"

Slowing your life down can actually start on the run. It can be done by grabbing "found moments," a minute or two here and there. These can happen in the car, while you wait at the bank, in the fast-food drive-through, or on your way to work.

These found moments are not big blocks of time but are minutes you can grab to think and plan. They will become part of the road map for your journey toward an increased enjoyment of life. You will not change totally in one day—nor should you expect to. Such unrealistic expectations will only add more pressure and throw you off balance. This does not have to be yet another thing added to a to-do list. Instead, start with a few minutes where you envision the life you want.

Because you are so swamped most of the time, making your life more enjoyable may seem to increase your stress at first. This feeling will fade as you choose specific strategies that work for you.

NEXT STEP: Develop a basic idea of what you want your life to look like.

Imagining your ideal life sometimes starts with knowing what you do not want your life to look like—knowing you are tired of being tired all the time or of rushing everywhere or feeling as if you never spend enough time with your family. That can lead to thinking about what you would like for your life to be like instead.

In my life, I found this to be a bit tougher than it sounds, for a couple of reasons. We get stuck living a certain way, and it is hard to step back. Taking a fresh look to see if we should change can seem overwhelming. Maybe you feel too busy and too tired to figure out why you are so busy and so tired. Even so, many of us have a pretty good idea about what we long for in our lives.

Your ideal life may be buried fairly deep under laundry, junk mail on the kitchen table, a stack of last week's newspapers, or a year's worth of unread magazines, or maybe even shoved down under a list of regrets. But many of us have "if only" lists that pop into our minds from time to time. We know that we would like to be calmer or have more fun or be joyful or have meaningful work.

Figuring out what I wanted my life to look like took me awhile. I read, studied, talked to friends and family, prayed, wondered—in between rushing about my daily life, working long hours, trying to be a good wife, mom, sister, aunt, friend, and on and on. What I eventually came up with certainly was not as complicated as brain surgery. I simply wanted less hurry and less worry in my life and more fun times spent with people I care about. And, I wanted to do work that has meaning. Those simple sentences are distilled from thousands of words and much reflection.

When I set out, I was rushing from one thing to another without truly enjoying any of it to the fullest. I yearned to change. I surprised myself when I sat down to write some goals. The words that came forth had a different tone than I expected: "More balance in all things. Slow down and enjoy life more by balancing work and play, togetherness and aloneness, planning and spontaneity, spending and saving, fitness of body and soul." At first my thoughts came together on the run. They eventually helped me slow down to give them more attention and do some fine-tuning.

The easiest way to get started is to jot down a list of words to describe your ideal life. You might write something such as, "I want these words to describe my life ..." and list the words. This simple exercise, which takes only a few minutes, begins to help you form one-word goals that can move you along, even on the busiest days.

During this process, you are already changing. You are finding moments in your busy schedule to think differently and beginning to acknowledge that you might be able to live differently.

Perhaps you would like to be more serene, loving, spiritual, or organized. Maybe you want your life to be more purposeful. Maybe you want to move slower each day or quit waking up worried in the night. The words you choose are not magic, but they help you start moving toward enjoying life more. The very act of writing these words down helps you make conscious, positive steps in the right direction. They can be nouns or adjectives, phrases or sentences. Do not get hung up on the form. This is your life, and this is your list.

As I started to list such words, I was surprised when the word tranquil popped into my mind. It was not a word I had thought about before, and it was the opposite of the noisy, frenzied life I tended to live. It became sort of a touchstone for me, reminding me of the quieter, more fulfilling life I craved. Other words that appealed to me included integrity, generosity, and usefulness. I offer this list to...