Hey, I'm Marty. I Drive the Bus! Book II

AuthorHouse

Contents

Chapter 1 Eating on the bus......................................1Chapter 2 Lady Reading the paper upside down.....................6Chapter 3 Short ride on the big Bus..............................10Chapter 4 The Rummage Sale.......................................14Chapter 5 Boys will be Boys......................................18Chapter 6 The Butterfly Lady.....................................22Chapter 7 Hey, where's my shopping cart?.........................30Chapter 8 Hey, gotta a smoke?....................................35Chapter 9 The Contest............................................39Chapter 10 I'm a Step-Mom........................................43Chapter 11 The Moonshine Still...................................46Chapter 12 How are you today?....................................49Chapter 13 The Hospital Gown.....................................53Chapter 14 The Man on bicycle....................................56Chapter 15 Man vs. Bus...........................................59Chapter 16 The Lottery Ticket....................................63Chapter 17 $100 Bill.............................................68Chapter 18 Vacation Pictures.....................................72Chapter 19 Skid Marks!!..........................................77Chapter 20 The Snow Thrower......................................82Chapter 21 Please Don't Jump.....................................88Chapter 22 The Role Model........................................94Chapter 23 He won't call the Cops................................99Chapter 24 The Field Trip........................................105Chapter 25 Did you hit me with the Bus?..........................113Chapter 26 Transit Gumshoes'.....................................119Chapter 27 The Envelope..........................................129

Chapter One

One of the many signs posted on the bus requests that the Passengers refrain from eating on the bus. Understanding this sign is not really that complicated and doesn't require much thought. Let me be a little bit sarcastic, like I usually am, and say I really enjoy it when Passengers sneak food on the bus and eat it while the bus is in motion. Oh yea, that's a mess waiting to happen. I especially look forward to cleaning up after people when they make messes. If a Passenger does accidentally drop a piece of food on the floor they don't bother to pick it up. What the Passenger does is kick the dropped food under the seat in front of them or under the seat that they're sitting in. These seats usually happen to be the back seats of the bus for obvious reasons.

The food that is safely tucked away under the seat now has a chance of becoming a permanent fixture on the bus. You see if the misplaced food doesn't get stepped on and gets tracked all over the bus; chances are that nobody will know that it's there. Many times the cleaning crew, while performing their busy duties, will over look little things like that. In time, the unforgotten food, after spawning and growing unknown molds and funguses, will finally get someone's attention.

This attention getter most often happens when a Passenger notices a strange odor on the bus. Sometimes the attention getter happens when a Passenger notices a mysterious object nestled on the bus floor in an obscure place.

The color and shape of these mysterious objects are usually determined by the changing seasons. Temperature extremes unquestionably have an affect on the mysterious objects. I came to the conclusion that if it is fall or winter then the undisclosed object is usually of dull or dark colors. Where as if it is summer or spring time the object in question appears to have brilliant and vibrant colors. This could be nature's way of camouflaging. The best I can tell is that there is no correlation between colors and odors. I've actually witnessed both types of specimens. In reality, I truly believe that both specimens can omit a fragrance that will bring tears to your eye and a lump in your throat.

There are objects that I have seen that fall into neither the color or odor category. These objects are just there. No one knows where they came from or how long they have been there. Heaven knows what they may mutate into. These objects are classified as "Just one of those unknown mysteries."

I realize that no one is perfect and we do what we have to do. Not going into any details, but; a while back one of my Passengers had a problem where he would eat food off the floor of the bus. The food that this Passenger ate from the floor included gum and candies. I had to tell him on numerous occasions not to. That really grossed me out. He did have some major issues so I won't go down that road.

A lady gets on my bus one morning and I notice that she has a bag of pastries from the local bakery in her left hand as she flashes me her monthly bus pass with her right hand. I noticed the logo on the pastry bag because I've been to that bakery many times before. Being experience with their foodstuffs I would say that everything that I have purchased from that bakery is exquisite. The bakery is known for products that are gooey, nutty, frosty and crumbly. There usually is an over abundances of whatever topping there is and the portions are huge. One cannot eat one of their products and not make a mess. Trust me on that!

The lady walked past me and sat down a couple seats behind me on the left side of the bus. People think that if they sit behind the Bus Driver; that the Bus Driver cannot see them. In reality, my interior mirror gives me a very good view of the entire interior of the bus. Even though the Driver has a good view of the bus coach, I would say that there are many blind spots on the bus. The seats directly behind the Driver fall into this category. Of course if someone wants to keep something out of the Drivers view, all they have to do is hold the item behind the backs of the seats or down low in front of them while they are seated on the bus. We Drivers can't see through the seats.

Anyways, after making sure everyone was seated and it was safe to continue my route; I closed the bus doors and safely merged into traffic. As I was driving I glanced into my interior mirror and watched as the lady, who had just boarded the bus, took a large pastry out of the bag that she was carrying and proceeded to take a big bite out of it that would make a crocodile proud! Not wanting to make a big deal out of it or cause a scene I said loudly, "Please don't eat on the bus."

Watching in the mirror, I saw the lady look up toward the Drivers area and at the same time put what was left of the pastry back into the bag. I thought that the incident was over. I watched in the mirror as the lady frantically chewed the food that was in her mouth. She was looking forward toward me and trying to talk and chew at the same time. While she was doing this she was making some really disgusting sounds. I really could not understand a word that she was trying to say. It took a minute or so before she could talk and I could understand her. I must say that she took a good bite out of that pastry. After she finished chewing and swallowing her food she said in a very loud sarcastic voice, "I'm not eating anything. Why are you picking on me?" She had one of those voices that used a lot of...