Greed Versus Goodness

AuthorHouse

Chapter One

BALDNESS CURE — 100 MILLION-DOLLAR HOAX

Little did anyone know this headline would set off an improbable series of events that would eventually include false tips to police, blackmail, a hundred lies, three murder attempts, a national manhunt, an Abbot accused of growing marijuana, a lecture on exorcism, bass fishing in Florida, two planned kidnappings, an ancient forest inhabited by red-eyed devils, and finally, an immoral but pleasurable act committed in a church confessional.

The person responsible for setting off the unusual series of events was Herbert Hallmore, a pudgy, God-fearing man, who rose at five o'clock every morning, brought in the morning paper, and read it front to back as he drank two cups of coffee with half and half and ate two jelly donuts.

"Thank you Jesus," Herbert said out loud after he had read and reread the hoax article. Herbert was a religious man who loved God and money in almost equal amounts. He regularly thanked God for helping him become Chief Financial Officer of the Money Bank in San Diego, which gave him endless opportunities to handle and accumulate the lovely green stuff. Of course, Herbert denied having a greedy nature, saying his interest in money was simply part of his job as Chief Financial Officer.

After Herbert read the hoax-article in the morning paper, his greedy desires surfaced and dollar signs began flashing in his brain like a marquee advertising the latest 3-D movie. Herbert put the newspaper down on his table, folded his hands in prayer, looked up at the ceiling of his humble kitchen, and thanked God for presenting him with a very advantageous financial opportunity.

Later that same morning, Randolph Stranger, senior partner of the prestigious law firm Stranger, Foremore, and Long, had read the same hoax article. Randolph would be the second person involved in setting off the implausible sequence of events.

Randolph looked again at the headline and thought, how could it have been a hoax? I saw at least a fifty bald rats growing new, healthy hair. I held one in my hands. I even tugged the hair to make sure it was real. I was guaranteed my initial investment of two million would in a few years turn into fifty million.

Randolph knew this hoax would cause serious financial problems, but he was not particularly worried because he was a genius at weathering problems and coming out a winner. Randolph could lie so convincingly that not even the pope would doubt his word. He sometimes looked in the mirror and said, I'm looking at the best liar God ever created. He could assume whatever personality the situation demanded. He had been kind, sympathetic, and supportive in his courting of his wife, Marjorie Whatting, who had inherited a considerable fortune from her deceased father. He had been controlling, assertive, and hard-nosed when raising Bart, his stepson, who needed to develop toughness to compete in today's world. He had been clever, cunning, and convincing when persuading Marjorie to transfer her inheritance to another bank, the Money Bank, under the guise of getting higher returns, which was a very believable lie. The truth was her current financial planner was much too suspicious and nixed all his schemes to gain access to Marjorie's millions. The new Chief Financial Officer at the Money Bank, one Herbert Hallmore, had agreed to be his silent and cooperative partner in various shady deals as long as he received a percentage of the profits.

Randolph's secretary buzzed and said, "Herbert Hallmore is on the line."

"Hello, Herbert. I thought you might be calling," Randolph said, sounding upbeat and not the least bit worried.

"You sound very cherry for having just lost two million dollars. If you remember, I repeatedly warned you against investing in a Chinese company claiming to have cured baldness with injections of stem cells. I repeatedly told you to check out their claim, and you assured me you had. Apparently you hadn't done due diligence because your two million is gone. The question is how will you now repay the loan?" Herbert asked, his voice rising to emphasize the hopelessness of his question.

But Herbert wasn't hopeless or even the least bit worried that his bank might have to write off Randolph's loan. Herbert had approved Randolph's unusually large personal loan only after Marjorie had acted as cosigner, pledging her large fortune as collateral. And best of all, after the loan documents were signed, Randolph had sent a black leather briefcase containing thirty thousand dollars in used bills as a thank you. The lovely briefcase had made Herbert's day and he looked forward to many more such briefcases.

"Herbert, please calm down or you will have another one of your gastric attacks," Randolph said, knowing Herbert practically lived on Maalox and jelly donuts.

"Calm down? How can I?" Herbert said in an exaggerated tone, still acting like an anguished banker. "My signature is on the loan documents, and my reputation is at stake. How could you have been so completely fooled? How could you —"

"Herbert," Randolph interrupted, "you do not need to tell me what I already know. I not only read the newspaper article but had personally taken a tour of the Chinese laboratory before I decided to invest my money."

Randolph sounded testy and wanted to move on to the real purpose of Herbert's call.

"Just let me finish! When you took the tour did the Chinese so-called scientists explain the rats they were using were expensive because they were specially bred to be hairless?" Herbert asked, taking pleasure in rubbing Randolph's nose is his dumb decision.

"Yes, they explained all the rats had been specially bred to be hairless and were often used in various kinds of research," Randolph said, knowing there was no stopping Herbert now.

"Did the Chinese scientists ask you to randomly select one of the treated rats from rows of cages to prove there were no fake or planted rats?" Herbert asked.

"Yes they did, and I randomly selected a treated rat for inspection," Randolph said.

"And when you looked at the rat, was its right side hairless? Just pink skin?" Herbert asked.

"Of course the rat's right side was nothing but pink skin because it was bred to be hairless," Randolph said, trying not to show his impatience.

"And when you looked at the rat's left side, which was supposedly injected with modified stem cells, was it fully covered in thick, healthy hair?"

"Yes," Randolph said.

"And to prove the hair was not glued on like a fancy wig, did they ask you to tug the hair as hard as you wanted?" Herbert asked.

"Yes, the rat's left side was covered in healthy hair, and I did tug and pull, and it was real hair," Randolph said.

He remembered seeing the amazing contrast between the rat's natural, pink-skinned right side and its healthy, thick-haired, treated left side. The contrast had been so astonishing that it completely convinced him the Chinese company had found a stem cell cure for baldness.

"And do you know the saying, if something appears to be to good to be true, it—"

"Yes, Herbert," Randolph again interrupted, "I know the saying. So what is your point?"

"My point is all the rats you saw were actually normal, healthy, hairy rats, not a single one bred to be hairless. The Chinese so-called scientists were not skilled researchers but only very skilled...