Grammar of the Wealthy Family: Healthy Communication and Constructive Conflict Management

Every person with money and assets worries about the future: after I pass away, what will happen with the money and valuables? The real estate and the company? Estate planning is a broad area of law where private law, tax law, corporate law and private international law blend together.

Grammar of the Wealthy Family discusses communication about these important and sensitive issues within the family. Traditionally, the answers are framed top-down, within the leading generation’s tunnel vision: the head of the family decides what the future should look like. Can such planning, strictly implementing the wishes of the head of the family, be sustainable?
We think a wise and mature estate planning should contribute to the flourishing of both the estate and the members of the family. Estate planning should be a bottom-up family planning, taking into account the dreams and wishes of all family members, embedded in a shared vision, mission and strategy for the family and its wealth, also for future generations.
In our view, traditional estate and tax planning is only the third and last step in the process towards sustainable shareholdership. It is preceded by firstly preparing the family and secondly having the family negotiate their shared values and mission. This requires families to be educated in a process of genuine open dialogue and reflection.

The authors are Family & Business Dynamics - Governance senior experts at the Greenille Private Client Team of Deloitte Legal (Belgium, NSE), and lead the KU Leuven Centre for Business Families.

Prof. Dr. Alain-Laurent Verbeke is attorney and founding partner of the Greenille Private Client Teamat Deloitte Legal – Lawyers. He is also a full professor of private law, negotiation & mediation at KU Leuven, holding the chairs of family property law (trusts & estates) and negotiation & mediation. At the Faculty of Law, he is director of the Rector Dillemans Institute for Family Property Law and co-director of the Center for Notarial Law and the Institute of Contract Law. He is also co-director of the Leuven Center for Collaborative Management (LCM) and core-team member of the KU Leuven Centre for Business Families at the psychology faculty. He is visiting professor of law at Harvard Law School since 2007, a full professor of private law & comparative law since 1999 at Tilburg University and since 2008, professor of law & negotiation at UCP Lisbon Global School of Law.

Prof. Dr. Martin Euwema is of counsel with the Greenille Private Client Team of Deloitte Legal – Lawyers. After an academic career at Utrecht University, he is a full professor at KU Leuven since 2007. He is chair of the Department of Occupational and Organizational Psychology and Professional Learning and co-director of the Leuven Center for Collaborative Management (LCM) and core-team member of the KU Leuven Centre for Business Families. He is also visiting professor at the Universities of Copenhagen and Seville, and is affiliated with Tsinghua University in Beijing. His focus is on group dynamics, conflict and leadership.

Prof. Dr. Katalien Bollen is a senior expert in family & business dynamics with the Greenille Private Client Team of Deloitte Legal – Lawyers. She is an organizational psychologist and a PhD at KU Leuven (with Euwema as promoter and Verbeke as co-promoter) in the field of mediation. She has numerous international publications to her name on mediation, conflict management and communication. She also has extensive practical experience in mediation and facilitation. She was an assistant professor at the University of Maastricht and is currently a part-time associate professor at KU Leuven teaching in the medical school and involved in the scientific supervision of doctorates at the faculty of psychology. She is at the core-team of the KU Leuven Centre for Business Families.