The Journey Begins

Do you want to be successful in all of your endeavors? Are you willing to accept the reality of your present situation? Do you have the desire and determination to make needed changes to alter your future? Are you willing to develop the characteristics that are needed to achieve a successful role as a business and personal leader?

The lack of these particular traits can limit an individual's potential for professional success, as well as his or her ability to build meaningful sustainable relationships.

The great news is that these skills can be learned by anyone who has a sincere desire to turn his or her internal potential into reality.

This is the beginning of your journey to view things differently and adjust your thinking in order to bring you better results in business and greater joy in your personal life, and to help you become a positive force in molding the future of the human experience.

Your lessons of the past serve as the road map to your future. You can only complete a meaningful life journey if you have an accurate picture of your destination. The journey simply determines that destination.

The most important skill that is repeatedly discussed throughout this book is the need for each reader to become more observant.

Being aware of what works and what causes people to fail will help you define who you truly want to be. It will motivate you to make meaningful, needed changes that will enrich your life. It will encourage you to abandon habits that have hindered your path or that are simply not working.

Let me share a few examples of how awareness can be life altering.

Story: Tom's Weight Problem

Tom is a forty-five-year-old married man with three children. He works long hours to support his family. He is an engineer, so his job is not physically demanding, but it is mentally stressful. He has little time to devote to his personal health or exercising. He eats on the run, often consumes fast food, and is addicted to sugary sodas — his drink of choice. At the end of the day, he settles into his comfortable chair to let his busy mind be numbed by television.

The result of this very common lifestyle is thirty-five unwanted pounds. Each attempt at dieting seems to lead to minor improvement that soon leads to even more weight gain.

On the other hand, his coworker John remains trim even though his life scenario parallels that of Tom's.

Tom begins to watch John's routine.

John never drinks soda. He consumes water often, with an occasional cup of hot tea. He gets up about once an hour to stretch or simply walk around a little. He never eats at his desk. He religiously takes a fifteen-minute break in both midmorning and midafternoon. During his breaks he snacks on veggies brought from home, which he eats in the break room. About three times a week, John takes a brisk walk outside during his lunch break. His lunch is relatively low in carbohydrates, replaced by small portions of protein and fruit.

When asked, Tom reveals that he has a glass of red wine during dinner. He limits his daily carbohydrate intake, replacing them with steamed vegetables, fruit, salad greens, and a moderate amount of meat. He spends his after-dinner hours walking the family dog and working on his woodworking hobby in the garage.

Tom wisely realizes that to become thin, he can simply mimic the habits of a thin person. None of these changes require tremendous sacrifice. Tom needed to overhaul his daily behaviors.

Story: An Exercise in Leadership

A meeting of the customer service and sales representatives of Harris, Burns, and Milestone Real Estate was held last evening to discuss the sales results of the last quarter.

The evening began with friendly bantering among the attendees. The most experienced representative is Sam Dowd, a fifteen-year employee. Sam's experience is always valued, especially by the younger reps. Tom Wiley, a born salesman, has been with the firm for five years. His smooth manner and efficiency make him the top salesperson on the team. Maryann Tabbs, Gaylord Singh, and Ruth Morris have all been with the company for two to three years.

Matt Long looked on in silent observation, having been on the team a mere ninety days.

At 6:05 p.m., the door flew open, revealing the blustery owner, Mike Harris, closely followed by his partner Ken Milestone. The room became very silent as the meeting began.

"I normally like to give some recognition at the start of our meetings, but with our lousy sales last month, there is literally nothing to praise!" Mike said.

"We aren't running a charity here," Ken said and then quickly added, "If sales don't improve immediately, there will be fewer faces in this room at our next meeting."

The meeting proceeded for about thirty minutes with very little input from the sales force.

Only Tom Wiley spoke up: "We have had a hard time closing sales because the local factory is rumored to be in trouble. Many think that they will file bankruptcy and terminate most, if not all, the workers. People are afraid, so they're shying away from making a commitment."

Mike's nostrils flared and his face reddened. He responded gruffly, "We have heard these rumors for years. Nothing has ever happened. Stop the excuse making and work harder."

The meeting came to an abrupt end with both partners leaving the room. Unlike previous meetings, the reps made no mention of meeting at the local tavern for a beer. Everyone appeared rattled or angry. No one looked forward to coming to work the following day.

As the novice in the group, Matt's head was spinning with questions.

What he had actually thought to be an ideal job that promised a great future was now giving him serious doubts.

Mike and Ken, as the leaders of this group, had been derailed by the poor sales results. They were dictatorial in their approach. They did not seek input or calmly seek to understand the performance dynamics encountered by the team. They dominated the meeting with demands, threats, and aggression.

The meeting, which was to have been a review of sales results, had become a demeaning lecture. None of the employees saw the meeting as helpful or motivational.

These two examples contain great lessons for an aware observer. They demonstrate what works and what fails.

Tom found his weight loss answers without any gym enrollment, expensive food management plan, or the purchase of unnecessary weight loss supplements. He visualized himself as a thin person. He identified John as a typical example of what he wanted to be. He observed John's behaviors and mimicked his methods to start his weight loss plan.

Matt learned a great deal by observing the negativity of his sales meeting. He saw his congenial sales leaders emotionally hijacked by pressures caused by poor sales. He experienced a heightened level of stress from the threats that were made. He walked away doubting the value of his relationship with the firm. Most frustrating of all, Matt did not get any guidance on how he or the others could actually improve their sales performance. The meeting was depressing instead of uplifting.

No doubt each of you has encountered similar situations in both your personal and work lives. These experiences can be invaluable if you use them as building blocks to a better you.

Through the following chapters, you will be given coping skills and leadership insights to help you mold a new version of who you truly want to be. This will enable you to recreate yourself. It will also help you realize your strengths as well as areas in need of improvement.

Your journey will help your awareness skills via simple observation and analysis. With your newfound abilities, you will enhance every aspect of your life.

During your reading experience, you will come across many interesting stories to illustrate the significant points that are expressed. Storytelling is an art form that is being lost today in our new world of texting, e-mails, and lack of oral communication. It is hurting all of us. Our brains visualize in the form of pictures and stories. Stories give a storyteller the opportunity to change emotions, bring humor to the experience, and impart knowledge. Who does not remember a funny joke or two? That's the point: You remember things that make you smile. You remember things that make you cry. You remember the moments in your life when your heart is touched by emotion, be it the birth of a baby, the loss of a loved one, or the joy of accomplishment when you see a person rise above his or her limitations to achieve what appears to be an unreachable goal.

You see, life is good! It is filled with moments that allow you to use and develop your full range of emotions.

It's time to shed your negative thoughts! It is time to truly realize you were created with all of the important characteristics necessary to live a full, rich, successful, and meaningful life.

So let your journey begin! Realize that you are the master of your personal destiny. Never surrender that journey or experience to anyone else. This is your life. Live it your way!

The F-Word

Fruitful: the purpose of each day

How often have you heard someone tell you that they were searching for the meaning of life? What is this mysterious mission?

You inherently know that the past is unchangeable and the future is yet to be determined, but you fail to recognize the value of the moment you are currently experiencing.

The present moment is all you have. Use it wisely. Make each day unique by cherishing what is happening right now.

Do not waste your life on could-have-beens or what-ifs! Take control of your life by defining what would make each moment the most fruitful for you. Throw yourself into life with unlimited passion and enthusiasm to avoid the regrets of missed opportunities.

Consider each day fruitful if you learn, teach, and care.

Timeless Wisdom

It is easy to be a harsh critic but often difficult to be a problem-solver.

Complaining may be entertaining or therapeutic, but it rarely results in a suitable solution. Turn complaints into potential solutions by exploring the root cause of the complaint. Then create a list of potential solutions.

What about ...?

Everything you do defines who you are.

This is a fundamental truth of the universe. Everything you do on this planet clearly defines who you are. You may veil your true self from others, but you can never fool yourself. You can change who you are by changing your behavior. The longer you procrastinate, the harder it is to change. You are defined by your choices and how you treat others.

A little self-assessment is periodically needed to see if who you want to be aligns with who you are being right now.

To succeed, you have to be comfortable with being uncomfortable.

For many, the word comfort triggers a false sense that there is no need to remain progressive or on the cutting edge. Excuses begin to replace results. The past becomes more important than your present realities.

Comfort can dull your senses, leading to stagnation. This is a major denial of reality. Evolution demands constant change, which can be unnerving for the unprepared.

During my physical after I turned fifty, my doctor told me that I had a very big decision to make. He said at fifty, people decide whether they will begin to eat more and run less. They may decide that their appearance no longer matters. They start to allow their mental capacity to diminish. People become comfortable thinking their most important days are in the past. He challenged me to make my decision.

Live life at full throttle, or casually slow down to a much easier pace. You decide!

The Cycle of Choice

The great thing about life is your God-given free will; the ability to make decisions that you truly believe will benefit your personal goals. Choices make it possible for people to select their own life directions or life journeys. With every decision comes a potential positive or negative result. Outcomes always create responsibility. Responsibility creates more choices. Unfortunately, irresponsibility motivates people to act solely on their emotional self-interest; often unaware of the impact they have on others. Every experience you have ever had was the result of your choices.

Let's use an example to show the cycle of choice.

Story: The Buying Blues

My wife and I recently discussed purchasing an SUV for shuttling our grandchildren to various events.

Once we decided it was time for a change in vehicles, I asked my wife to go online to research the options she wanted and then narrow her choices to just two vehicles. She eagerly started her in-depth research. With each new vehicle she viewed, she found new features that she liked, which caused her to compare them with other potential selections. Her research went on for days. When I asked her for the two choices, she broke into tears, frustrated that she could not narrow it down to just two. She wanted to look at six different vehicles, which got limited support from me. As with many other similar decisions, we did nothing.

Let's take a moment to review the cycle of choice:

• The first choice was to begin the purchasing process.

• The second choice was to look at SUVs because this type of vehicle was perfect for transporting our five grandchildren to every youthful activity known to man.

These choices were made easily.

Then the trouble started. My wife focused on so many features that all of the vehicles started looking the same. Things that were of limited importance began to fog the process. She liked the color of blue from one manufacturer while preferring the modern GPS system of another. The process that started with enthusiasm became a burden of issues, creating more confusion than clarity.

I had pressed her to narrow it down to only two choices, which caused her considerable stress mixed with a little anger. I quietly retreated from the conversation.

How did this simple task become so complicated?

The first error was seeking and getting bogged down in excessive amounts of detail. In looking at a multitude of vehicles, she had created a strong fear of choosing. She feared making a bad choice, so she procrastinated and made no decision.

Lesson learned: when given too many choices, we often feel uncomfortable making any decision.

Our attempt to purchase a new automobile caused tension in our relationship, accompanied by a prolonged process of fact-finding, negotiating, and comparison.

When I shared this frustrating experience with friends, they echoed similar experiences.

We all make choices constantly. This example involved a vehicle purchase, but some of your choice challenges are much greater in severity and consequence.

For you to make choices, you must have confidence in your ability to make the best choice under the present circumstances. If you lack this confidence, you will shy away from decision making. This makes you a potential servant to the decisions of others.

So how can the process be improved or simplified to effectively lead to a positive conclusion?

Ten Rules for Making Good Choices

Rule 1: Do Not Over Research Your Options

Being paralyzed by information overload or too many priorities is very common. You complicate your life by second-guessing what you feel. You may work under the very inaccurate assumption that more information leads to a far better decision. Often, more information leads to either no real decision or a choice made out of frustration.

Rule 2: Narrow Your Options to Two

This allows you to truly compare each based on the same criteria. This will let you see the very best option for you. Too many options create confusion. A choice between two options should ease the process.

Rule 3: Never Make a Decision Without Proper Reflection

Rash decisions lead to choices made on emotion and emotion only. Impulse decision making is risky and expensive. All decisions create an intentional or unintentional consequence. Hasty decisions made during emotionally charged situations often bring regret.