CHAPTER 1

My Confession andMy Potentials

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I CAN REMEMBER sitting in the back of my parent's brownPontiac vehicle, when a voice came to me to get in the frontseat with my mother, who were sitting in the passage side andmy father who were driving. As I climb toward the front, my fatherinsists me to sit in my seat. Yet, the voice continues ordering me toget in the front. After the fourth time, then my father stated "comeon up". Which then seat belt or minors were not in regulation or putinto law for being in the front. So, I climb up into the front seat ontomy mother's lap, sitting still as I look at my father, focusing on theroad. Then about one minute after being in the front seat with myparent ... Bam! A truck ran the stop sign hitting the rear passage sideof the vehicle, crushing part of the trunk and the seat I were sittingin. I was three (3) year old when this happen.

My life has been changed by accepting Jesus as my lord and saviorand having a relationship with Him. My story has three parts. Thefirst part is before knowing Christ, second is the process of getting toknow who Jesus was and is, and the third is how my life has changefor the better.

I grew up in a family that had very strong spirituality throughoutthe generations, as far as I can remember. My parent will take my littlebrother and me to Sunday's school every Sunday morning; which Ididn't like, because it was boring, dry and the teaching was not fullyin detail to make it interested for my attention. My family loved meand I loved them, but throughout my generations didn't give me anyreal way to make decisions in life. "Just work hard," which is not abad value, but didn't achieve what God want me to gain, which is theinheritance of the Kingdom of Heaven.

During and after finishing college, I started a career. I workedhard to get the things that I thought would make me happy, thingsthat the world said would make me happy; And I did. You know thestuff that show on TV. A smart, pretty wife, a big old house, a fancycar or two, taking some great vacations, having tailor made clothes,and be part of a membership. Where I'm from things was o.k. Iwas looking good, successful at work, played for a semi-professionalfootball team, got an opportunity to tried out for a professionalbasketball team, everything seem great ... on the outside.

But on the inside, things were different. My life was all that greatit was just a big mess. Most of the things that I had achieved or thematerial things that I had really didn't make me happy. It seemed likemy life was still searching for something, I was just feeling incomplete;as if I was missing something. Yet, that hole I was missing createdsome problems, a whole lot of problems. I tried to fill it up with otherthings; going to clubs, house parties, having multiple girlfriends andmore things that the world said and show of being OK. Yet, I was stilla workaholic. I went to work when I was off and after clocking out,still came home late for no reason at all. I abused everything. I drankall of the time, being out late at night, and some other things that Iwon't go into now. Suit to say, I was lost and my lost-ness was killingme, mentally & emotionally. My life was ruled by the emotions offear, greed, anger, frustration, and depression.

Now remind you (in New York) that I had attended Sunday'sschool, been on the choir, and a Marshall on the Usher, but those (thechurch) only encourages entertainment and not the true understandingin details about the Father, Son, the Holy Spirit and other life learningin the Bible. Reading the Bible caused me to think about things thathad never occurred to me before. They raised more questions thangave answers. I thought, is it really possible that the whole world thatwe know and the entire universe is by chance? Was the story of Jesusreally true? Could I have a relationship with God? Was there really aGod who knew me and cared about me? I was really confused.

So I begin to have a nightly Bible study by myself. There I learneda lot of things. All of us have issues. This was a safe place to sharewhat my life was really like. A chance to be real to myself just for anhour at night; not just to read the Bible, but other "religion" books.Sometimes it answered questions, sometimes it raised more.

As I had gotten older to decide to go to church or not; on Sundaymorning I'd sit in the basement of my parent's home, watching otherpastors on television delivering the message, while my parent went tochurch. Most of the time I would go, but when I did went, I can feelthe hatred of so-called "saved" who were very, very judgmental; yet,none of them tried to reach out to welcome me in, till they show theirfake gratitude when my father introduce me. Some of you may havefaced this experience.

So, after a lot of studying, reading books and the Bible, and alsohaving small group discussions with friends, it finally occurred to methat God loved me too. That the story of the gospel was true! Andthat through Jesus and what he did on the cross, he offers us a chanceat a new start in life, a new...