Talking about sexual identity, bodies, boundaries, and consent can feel uncomfortable for many adults. When a child has an intellectual disability, that discomfort often turns into fear, avoidance, or silence.
Unfortunately, silence does not protect children. Education does.
Finding My Way: Nurturing Sexual Identity in Children with Intellectual Disabilities is a compassionate, practical, and research-informed guide created to help adults confidently support healthy sexual identity development from early childhood through adolescence.
Written by occupational therapist and professor
Dr. Shaniff Esmail and author and resilience speaker
Kelly Woodhouse, this book blends clinical expertise with real-world insight to address one of the most misunderstood and overlooked aspects of disability support.
Children with intellectual disabilities are sexual beings. They experience curiosity, body awareness, emotions, attraction, and the need for connection just like any other child. When they are not given clear, respectful, and developmentally appropriate information, they are at greater risk for confusion, shame, social isolation, and vulnerability to abuse.
This book moves beyond outdated, behaviour-control models and offers a strengths-based approach focused on dignity, autonomy, self-esteem, and safety.
Inside this book, you will learn how to:
- Support healthy sexual identity development across developmental stages
- Teach body awareness, privacy, and boundaries in concrete, accessible ways
- Introduce consent and communication skills that children can truly understand
- Respond to sexual behaviours with clarity rather than fear or punishment
- Reduce vulnerability to exploitation through proactive education
- Foster self-advocacy, confidence, and emotional resilience
- Adapt conversations and strategies to different cognitive, sensory, and communication needs
Rather than asking, “How do we stop this behaviour?” this book asks a far more effective question:
“How do we help this child understand themselves, respect others, and feel safe in their body and relationships?”Grounded in decades of clinical experience, current research, and lived understanding,
Finding My Way equips parents, caregivers, educators, therapists, and service providers with the tools they need to replace uncertainty with confidence and avoidance with meaningful guidance.
This is not a book about encouraging sexual activity. It is a book about
human rights, safety, dignity, and belonging.
If you support a child with an intellectual disability and want to guide them with clarity, compassion, and confidence, this book is an essential resource.
