CHAPTER 1

Dreams

To sleep, perchance to dream ...

William Shakespeare

One of the most common ways people connect fromthe other side is through dreams. The dreams throughwhich souls contact their living loved ones are very differentfrom ordinary dreams. They are vivid and rational—thingshappen in proper sequence, as opposed to the topsy-turvysequences of everyday, run-of-the-mill dreams, and theyare generally suffused with light. The dreamer remembersthem; they don't fade as soon as the dreamer awakens.These dreams aren't just realistic; they also often impartinformation.

At the Bus

In a very lucid dream of mine, my long-dead mother,Minnie, appeared and told me that she was helping peoplewho'd been killed in a bus crash to make the transition tothe afterlife. A tiny river separated us, and I watched as shegently helped people's souls leave their bodies so they couldmove on. When I attempted to cross over, she shooed meaway impatiently, just as she might have done in "real" life.She said she was really busy.

"This is my work now," she said. "I just wanted you to knowwhat I'm doing. But you have to stay on your side of theriver." So I stayed on my side of the river—but at some pointwe all have to cross the river, don't we?

When I awoke I heard on the morning news about a buscrash in which most of the elderly occupants had been killed.That river crossing was indeed busy.

* * *

Millie's Dad

When Millie's father died, she stayed at her mother's hometo help ease her loneliness. At week's end, Millie's fatherappeared to her in a dream and said, "Go to your mother.She's making herself sick worrying. I told her when I died I'dgive her a sign I was okay by tweaking her toes in the middleof the night. Well, she's been sitting up in bed every night,scared that I would keep my promise. She's not sleeping atall. She'll make herself so sick she'll die, too, so tell her Iwon't tweak her toes. It's not her time to die."

Millie walked down the hallway to her mother's room. Itwas 3:00 a.m., but there was a sliver of light under thebedroom door. Millie knocked. "Come in," said her mom.When Millie entered, she discovered her mother sittingupright in bed, her eyes wide open. She looked terrified.

Millie sat down on the edge of the bed. "Ma, Pa came tovisit me in a dream. He said to tell you to go to sleep; you'remaking yourself sick. And he promised not to tweak yourtoes."

Her mother burst into tears. "That was our secret—we nevertold anyone. Now I feel awful. He'll think I don't lovehim."

Millie said, "He knows you love him. He just doesn't wantyou to scare yourself to death."

Her mother calmed down and finally slept. Millie returnedto her own home the next day, secure that her dad waswatching out for her mom. And her mom was relieved,knowing he wasn't going to tweak her toes.

* * *

Stella's Healing Journey

Stella, only forty-five years old, had been diagnosed withterminal cancer. A tumor had invaded all the main arteriesand nerves in her groin, and no treatment was available.After meditating, praying, and soul-searching for weeks, shefelt she had to surrender to the idea that her life was comingto an end. One night, after finally having reached a peacefulstate, she fell sound asleep and had a vivid dream in whichan all-enveloping light appeared and said, "If you choose,you can survive." It then told her how.

Stella awoke the next morning determined to question thedoctors about creating a bypass in her groin that wouldskirt around the tumor. The solution in her dream becamea reality when the doctors reassessed her case and came upwith a risky bypass technique that had never been donebefore but might solve her problem. They were willing toperform the operation if Stella were willing to risk it—everyoneknew she could die during the procedure. Theoperation was successful, and some twenty years later, Stellasaid, "I had to surrender to death in order to experience theluminous dream that offered me the way to my healing.Surrendering to death gave me renewed life."

* * *

Boy of My Dreams

Stella's dream life continued to inform her. She had a seriesof vivid dreams about a little blond, blue-eyed boy whowould appear to her in one dream and then disappear inanother. The dreams were so disturbing that she discussedthem with a close friend. She wondered what the dreamsmeant. Was her son's wife pregnant? If so, why did the childappear and disappear?

Stella's son Mark and his wife Lilli lived in California. Theyalready had two children, and as far as they were concerned,their family was complete. However, there was a little soulhovering around them who had other ideas. Lilli becamepregnant, and because for personal reasons the couple wastrying to decide whether or not to terminate the pregnancy,they did not tell their parents. When the couple finallydecided not to terminate, they shared their original dilemmawith Stella, who was relieved.

"That explained the dreams, and the conflict," Stella latersaid.

Stella was present at the baby's birth, and when she held theblond, blue-eyed boy in her arms, he stared straight intoher eyes and she felt a shock of recognition flowing betweenthem. Now that he is over three years old, and beloved by hisparents, sisters, and grandparents, he still has a special bondwith the grandma whom he visited while he was but a tinyembryo. And he looks exactly like the child of her dreams.

* * *

Mother Knows Best

Two sisters, Carol and Charlotte, were members of my griefgroup because their mother, Pam, had died two monthsearlier after a brief but deadly illness. In addition to mourningtheir mother, the women were very upset with their father,who had begun dating a woman shortly after Pam's death.The woman, who had been staying with a next-doorneighbor during Pam's illness, pounced at the opportunityto offer help, casseroles, and, finally, condolences. Caroland Charlotte felt the woman was taking advantage of theirdad's vulnerability, and they were seriously dismayed whenhe invited her to move into what they still viewed as theirmother's home. They were especially disturbed when theirdad drank excessively with his new partner; they felt he wasavoiding grieving by bringing her into his home to fill thegap left by Pam's loss.

The sisters tried to share their feelings with their father,but he refused to listen. He expected them to accept theusurper with open hearts and arms, and he also expected...