Chapter 1
My ole maw used to always tell me, "Melvin, allus be keerful a getting something what's just exact what you wants it to be." I never really knowed for a long time just what the hell she was a-talking about, but I reckon I found out all right. Now maybe you never heared a me atall, but then maybe you did, and if you did then likely you recall that ole Red, she was just about almost my own gal. A course, she made her living a whoring, and that's all right with me on accounta ever'one's gotta make a living somehow, but aside from that little ole thing, well, she was kinda my gal. Anyhow, whenever my old paw final and for sure a-headed back for Texas and Maw, like what I told him to go and do, and my new pardner ole Churkee headed on to get him a look at the Churkee Nation what he hadn't never saw on accounta being borned out in Californy and all, and we was all of us a-walking around free with cleared-up names and all, well my original ole pard, ole Zeb Pike, he wanted to go on back up in the hills and sniff out some gold.
"I don't know, Zeb," I tole him. "I ain't feeling like it just now."
"Well, how come not?" he said. "What the hell's wrong with sniffing out gold? Tell me that. Ain't I allus steered you right on that?"
I had to allow as how he had all right, but then I said, "I just ain't a-feeling like it, is all. After what-all we beenthrough, well, I just kinda wanta lay around town here for a spell and take it easy-like. Hell, I got money in my jeans. Whenever I ain't got no more, that there's the time I'll be ready to go back to work."
"Sniffing gold ain't no work," Zeb said. "It's a downright pleasure. It's the biggest pleasure in life. It's better than getting drunk. Hell, it even beats a good romp with a whore."
"I don't know about that," I said.
"Hell, you're just a snot-nosed kid."
I couldn't argue none with that.
"You go on back up yonder in the mountains, Zeb," I said. "I'll wait for you right here. Or if I get ready and you ain't come back yet, I'll go on up there a-hunting you."
"You couldn't tell up from down in them mountains without I was along with you to lead you by your nose," he said.
I grinned at him. "I reckon you're right about that, ole pard," I said.
"Then come on and let's us go," he said.
"Tell you what," I said, "let's have us some whiskey and think about it some more."
You see, I knowed that if I could get enough whiskey in ole Zeb, why, he'd plumb forget what the hell we'd been a talking about, and then, I figgered I could kinda sneak off and hide from him for a spell, and then he'd maybe go on off up in the mountains without me and leave me alone for a while. I just wanted to hang around town with ole Red until I got all my--well, you know, till I got plenty of funning around to last me for a while. Anyhow, we went on over to the saloon and got us a bottle. We was standing at the bar a sipping our whiskey--well, I was anyhow. Zeb was kindly gulping. We was standing there when ole Jim Chastain, the sheriff, come in and stood there right beside me.
"Howdy, Kid," he said.
"Buy you a drink, Jim?" I said.
"Sure," he said.
We got us another glass, and then me and Zeb and ole Chastain, we all went over to a empty table and set our ass down there with our glasses and a bottle. I was being kinda tentative-like on accounta I weren't atall sure for certain that ole Jim didn't still have it in his mind to kill me for what I had did to him a little while back, but I guess he never, 'cause he picked up his glass, and he drunk with me all right. I figgered then that he had done got all his revenging on me did once and for final that time he throwed me out the upstairs winder a the hotel and me stark, staring-ass nekkid in front a the whole town in broad daylight. I'd had to rid outa town nekkid on horseback with ever'one in the whole world a laughing their ass off at me. I reckon that satisfied him all right.
Anyhow, I had stayed outa town for a spell a-cooling off and letting my skin turn back white from its humiliation red, and then I had gone on back in on accounta I sure did want to see ole Red, and I guess you know how come. So me and ole Zeb had been back in town for a while, but we hadn't yet run onto ole Chastain till just this very minute I'm a-telling you about. Anyhow, we was all drinking together pretty good, and so it seemed like as if ever'thing was all right. Red come back down the stairs just then, and she seed us, and she come on over to set by me. I sure was proud, I can tell you.
Ole Zeb, he got liquored up right quick, and me, I just kept a-sipping real easy on accounta I was wanting to go upstairs with ole Red, and I sure didn't want to be too drunk to do nothing once I got my ass up there with her. Zeb kept a talking about gold, and I just kept a-sipping and doing my best not to get drawed into no conversation with him about it. Final I couldn't hardly stand the tenseness a the situation no more, and I looked old Chastain square in the face.
"Jim," I said, "would you say that things is square up even betwixt me and you for the things we done each other in the past, or is you still a-wanting to kill me dead?"
"Kid," he said, "I got you last, and I got you good. As far as I'm concerned, it's all over."
"Yeah," I said, "well, actual, you got me first and you got me last."
"But you got me twice in between," he said.
I couldn't hardly argue none with that. You see, what had happened was, in case you ain't heared, ole Jim, he arrested me and Paw and Zeb for something what we never done. He tuck our guns and marched us right down the mainest street a Fosterville with our arms a stuck straight up in the air for ever'one to see. It was humiliating as all hell at the time, but only I just didn't rightly know at the time how much humiliating a feller can be made to suffer.
Ole Red, she had slipped me my six-gun later on, and I had busted our ass outa jail, but only I had gone and left ole Jim locked up in his own jail cell nekkid as a new borned babe. He wanted to kill me for that real bad, and I don't blame him none for it. Then I had went and caught him again. He had rid out with a posse after our ass, and he had got separated from the rest and I had did it to him again. Left him out in the countryside nekkid as a jay. Well, then he sure enough did want to kill me deader'n a cold turd.
Then when the situation was final resolved, and me and Paw and Zeb had our names all cleared up, ole Jim had did what he done to get even with me, what I already told you about. So thinking it all over, if ole Jim was satisfied with how he got to be even with me without killing me, I reckoned that I was too. I stuck out my hand, and he shuck it. All them hard feelings was in the past, and we was friends again. Of a sudden just then ole Zeb stood up, and he were a bit wobbly.
"Come on, Kid," he said. "Let's go to the mountains."
I was some tired a arguing with him.
"I ain't going, Zeb," I said.
"Well fuck you then, Kid," he said. "I'll go by myself."
He turned and staggered across the room to the door and on outside. I figgered that he'd pass out somewhere along the way to finding his horse and ole Bernice Burro, and I'd see him again come morning, but I was kindly hurt that my ole pard, and my best pard at that, would tell me what he told me and that in front a both ole Jim and Red. I reckon I kindly blushed up some at the feel of it. Red, she musta seed it on my face.
"He didn't mean it, Kid," she said. "He'll be back whenever he sobers up."
"I don't keer if he does or don't," I said, and I reckon I had me a hellacious pout on my face. I sure...
