There are times in all of our lives when we look to the sky and wonder if the dark clouds shadowing our lives will ever part—when we wonder if we’ll ever be warmed by the sunshine again. We may be challenged to overcome a single tribulation or a series of trials, but we all find ourselves facing and enduring heartache.

Tracy Brooks has perhaps experienced more than her fair share of heartache, most notably experiencing the ultimate betrayal and abandonment of the dearest person in her life. Getting back on your feet can seem like an insurmountable task after being wounded so deeply, but Tracy realized there was nothing else she could do but move on and wait for the clouds to part.

In this memoir, she seeks to reaffirm that storms of life really do pass and that the sun can shine again. She shares what encouragement can do for someone going through difficult times in their life and how those encouraging others through their journeys are blessed. She hopes to restore faith and reminds readers to pray through hard times.

Brooks’s memoir shows that regardless of the adversity you’re facing, faith can get you through. Hers is a story of finding peace among all the pieces.

Dancing In The Rain

(Finding Peace Through All The Pieces)By Tracy Brooks

iUniverse, Inc.

Copyright © 2012 Tracy Brooks
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4759-4448-8

Chapter One

Holy Cross Cemetery, Culver City, CA. What an awesome sight to behold, from the sculptured greenery to the breathtaking flowers, waterfalls, and chapels. My goodness this place is beautiful, but as I drove around the narrow winding roads in the funeral procession, I was reminded of what I once heard a minister say, "Thank you Lord that today we're not in the best hospital in town, nor are we in the most beautiful cemetery." Amen to that. Even with that said and those thoughts reeling around in my head I know that death is one of those things that falls under the category of things we have no control over, as many things in life, some things just happen and there's nothing, and I do mean nothing, you can do about it.

As the motorcycle escorts directed cars adjacent to where Nicolas' plot was, I found myself watching my childhood friend, Kim. I ached for the pain she was enduring; thinking how terrible it must be to bury a child. After all, I'd watched my own mother do the same. It seemed as though it was just yesterday that I was rubbing Kim's pregnant belly awaiting Nicolas' arrival, but today at twenty seven years of age his remains were being laid to rest. My mind went all the way back to 1980, Dorsey High School, where in our yearbook a page of memoriam was dedicated to classmates who had passed on. The page showed a faded picture of palm trees lined along a road, with a caption by an unknown author which read, "As I see the palm trees lined along the road in a row, it reminds me of all the many friends I left behind." It seemed so appropriate for the number of friends and family gathered celebrating Nicolas' life, yet grieving his loss. I don't know why so much was going through my mind; no doubt times like this make us reflect. I thought about the sign on Crenshaw Boulevard above West Angeles Church, depicting a group of men carrying their beloved friend into the church in a casket. The caption on this billboard read, "Don't let the next time you attend church have you carried in by six." I looked over at a group of Nicolas' friends all bewildered by their loss and thought life really is filled with swift transitions; it really can change in a moment, in a twinkling of an eye. There were all the buddies he hung out with daily, but now they were carrying him (well at least his remains).

My Pastor, Dr. Robert A. Williams, Jr., has often referred to homegoing celebrations (or funerals) as commercial breaks. He says that though all of us had different plans for that particular day, something totally unexpected happened, abruptly changing our schedules, and diverting our attention. This time it was to honor Nicolas. Just as a commercial comes in over the television blaringly loud to get our attention, deaths, homegoing services of a loved one jolts us also, getting our attention and making us realize that tomorrow is not promised.

The procession was so long it allowed me time to sit in the car as others still parked their vehicles and walked the distance to the gravesite. My attention was drawn to a man at the top of the hill. I'm sure from his vantage point he was able to see the beautiful beaches nearby from his elevated position. There he sat in a lawn chair with a lunch pail to the right of him. He seemed to be relaxed, so at peace. I was always taught that the cemetery holds the remains of our loved ones, so to watch someone go out there with a picnic and sit much of the day as though the person is there has always been a bit strange to me. I've always understood the symbolic visiting of the graveyard to place flowers on the gravesite of a loved one, but hanging out all day talking to them as though they were there, was something I didn't quite get.

As I continued to watch this man at the top of the hill, my thoughts went to the fact that there are many beautiful parks in the City of Angels, as well as beautiful beaches, but here he sat at Holy Cross Cemetery. Oh no doubt it's a beautiful place, but it's not a place I personally would like to park at all day. I wondered to myself with all the people in the world, living, breathing, and moving, why this man chose to come and spend his time amongst the remains of those who had passed on. Judging by the way groundskeepers and escorts maneuvering through the cemetery waved at him acknowledging his presence, it was obvious that coming to the cemetery hanging out the way this man was doing was something he did on a regular basis. One of the cemetery workers arrived to lower Nicolas' remains into the ground and happened to stand right next to my car, as he awaited the conclusion of the gravesite ceremony. He acknowledged my presence.

"How are you doing today Miss Lady?"

"I'm fine, how are you?"

"Can't complain, any day above ground works for me."

I smiled.

"Seems this procession for this young man arrived right in time, it was pouring earlier, at least we got a break in the rain."

I nodded my head towards the guy up on the hill, "Does he come here often and just sit here like that?"

"Oh yeah that's Mr. Joshua, he's a regular here, he comes here every other day and sits for hours with his picnic. He usually comes early in the morning until the sun goes down. He says he comes to sit with his wife and daughter."

I was focused in on Mr. Joshua wondering what he was thinking, and wondering what makes a person come to a cemetery every other day and just sit for hours. I wondered what he found so tranquil about this place. I figured I would never get the answers to any of my questions, but one thing I was sure of and that was I saw something in Mr. Joshua that I hadn't seen in my own life in a while and that was peace. Right about now I'd take that even if it was in a chair, with a lunch pail, at the cemetery.

As I witnessed Kim suffer through the burial of her young son, I found myself saying, "Lord, help us, we've all got our own cross to bear, whether it's the loss of a child, loss of a husband or wife; loss of a marriage, job, home, health issues, whatever it is, we've all got our own cross to bear. I can't carry someone else's and they can't carry mine. My cross might not look that heavy to someone else, but their knees and shoulders aren't holding this particular cross, so they really don't know how heavy it is."

One thing about life, we can't pick which trial we want to go through; we have to deal with the ones that befall us. No doubt we would probably pick trials we deemed easier than others, denying ourselves the growth that comes with bearing certain burdens.

The minister began the short gravesite service, later leaving us with two scriptures of encouragement: Psalms 55:22: Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and He will sustain you. And, I Thessalonians 5:18: In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.

Amen.

Facebook posts of the day:

"Trust in the Lord and lean not to thine own understanding."

"The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away, blessed be the name of the Lord."

"We have to take the bad in life, as well as the good."

"Patience is not the ability to wait, but the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting."

"You won't know what's at the end of the storm until you go through it."

Chapter Two

After the homegoing service for Nicolas I went home and sat around for a while before an appointment. I had a heavy heart; I felt the need to just be still for a while....