Creating Survivors

AuthorHouse

Contents

A MUST READ for NEW PARENTS........................1INFANCY............................................3AS THE CHILD BECOMES MOBILE........................7SETTING BOUNDARIES.................................9BEING CONSISTENT...................................13USING INCENTIVES...................................17FOSTERING INDEPENDENCE.............................21DEVELOPING THE RESILIENT CHILD.....................25BUILDING CHARACTER.................................27MODELING RESPECT...................................33LEARNING VALUE OF MONEY............................35RAISING SURVIVORS..................................39TABLE..............................................41

Chapter One

Train your child and in the later years he will not waiver.

Parenthood can be a delight, a blessing, and an experience that will give you many proud moments. Parenthood, on the contrary, can be frustrating, discouraging, and can lead to many tearful and embarrassing moments.

Obviously when you decide to have a child, you are hoping for the first scenario.

I am sorry to say that hoping will not do the trick. You may think that what you do as a parent cannot guarantee that the first scenario will occur. You may think that children are born with different personalities, and that is true. Some children are definitely easier to parent and some are more difficult. But the truth is, the effort you put into parenting for the first few years will make all the difference.

It is true, children are born with traits. Some children are stubborn and some want to please. Some children are determined and some are flexible. Some children are more emotional and some are calm. The good thing is ALL children can be molded to achieve the desired outcome. The molding process must begin almost immediately.

Many new parents fall in the trap of tailoring their life and schedule to meet that of the new baby. I hear new parents say, "I cannot get my new baby to sleep at night," or "She wants to eat non-stop," or "She cries every time she is not being held." Have you ever seen a sign on the door, "Quiet, the baby is sleeping." Many times a new parent will give up a social life because, "The baby only sleeps in his crib!"

New parents must begin effective parenting immediately and continue through graduation. The wonderful news is the more effective your parenting early on, the more enjoyable parenting will be as the children grow and mature.

It is never too late to get started, however, children resist change. If children have developed habits, it will take more effort on the part of the parent to change those habits.

The effort is definitely worth it. If you do not expend the effort when the child is 2 years old or 4 years old or 6 or 10 ... you will regret it in the teen years and after.

So are you ready to get started? I hope so, for your sake, but mostly for the sake of your child. If your child does not learn to honor boundaries, if your child does not learn respect for adults, themselves and others, their life will be much more difficult and success will not come easily. Children without boundaries and without respect find their dreams beyond their reach. Doors close and bridges are burned by children who cross the boundaries and are disrespectful to the people around them.

INFANCY

The key to parenting an infant is love, schedule, and flexibility. You cannot give an infant too much love. What parents sometimes confuse with love is holding. Infants need lots of love, holding, and cuddling. Infants also need rest and sleep.

The first thing you want to work on is establishing a regular nap and bedtime schedule. Try to put your child down for a nap at approximately the same time no matter where you are. Encouraging a child to sleep in different locations breeds flexibility, while establishing a schedule. For small infants, take along a basket or pack and play for naps and bedtime. Establish a regular schedule of at least two nap times per day along with a 12 hour bedtime. Some infants need more sleep than others. You will be able to figure that out by how long the child sleeps during the established naptimes.

To increase flexibility, have the new infant nap right in the heart of the home. Run the sweeper, put on the TV or music, talk, and make noise in the kitchen. Developing the ability to sleep during regular household noise will really make your life easier.

If your child has already developed the habit of waking to noises, use a small fan by the infant's bed to mask the noises. Take this fan wherever you go so that your child can sleep no matter where they are. This allows the remainder of the family to go on with their life in a regular manner.

Infants need to learn to put themselves to sleep and to calm themselves. At bedtime, change the infant, feed them, rock them for a few minutes, and lay them in bed. Let the infant fuss until they fall asleep. At the toddler stage, add brushing teeth, and reading a book. Continue with the same routine. Once children are old enough to get out of bed on their own, if they get out of bed before sleeping, quickly and calmly put them back in bed. Do the same at night. Do not be tempted to let them sleep in your bed or you sleep in their bed. This is a habit that is very difficult to break. If the child reaches a stage where they say they are scared, put a small nightlight in the bedroom.

Not establishing a nap and bedtime is one of the most common mistakes parents make. This bad habit takes a huge toil on parent's health physically and emotionally. Not having enough sleep is stressful as well as physically debilitating. If you are worried, put a monitor in the child's room.

During infancy you will have to feed the child in the middle of the night. Change them and feed them with as little light as possible. Talk softly and quietly. After eating and changing, immediately put the child back to bed. The child will soon understand that nighttime is not play time and soon will sleep during the night. If the child starts waking up, but only fusses, as long as they are gaining weight steadily, do not pick up the child. Let them learn how to get back to sleep.

One mistake parents often make is letting the child sleep for a long time during the day. This is a down hill spiral. If you are tired because you were up all night, you will want the child to take long naps. As a result, the child will want to be awake during the night. The tricky part is that each child is different and you will have to learn the amount of sleep your child needs during a 24 hour period. As you figure this out, adjust the naps and bedtime so that the child is sleeping at least 10 hours during the nighttime hours. Guarantee a sound sleep at night by providing your child with stimulation and sufficient wake time during the day. During waking hours, that is the time to play with, cuddle and talk to your child. It is never too early to talk to your child. The human mind is incredible. Children start picking up information from day one.

Give your child opportunities to exercise. Place them on their back, their stomach, and on their side so they can exercise different body parts. Put toys or mobiles within grasp to encourage eye hand coordination and balance. Let the child sit on your lap...