Conversations on the Porch

iUniverse, Inc.

Contents

Acknowledgments...................................................................................xiIntroduction......................................................................................xiiiChapter One: Eve—Blame and Grief............................................................3Chapter Two: Sarah—Promises and Joy.........................................................10Chapter Three: Hagar—Abuse, Forgiveness, and God's Presence.................................16Chapter Four: Leah—Settling for Less and Caring for Others..................................21Chapter Five: Rachel—Challenges and Rewards.................................................26Chapter Six: Shiphrah and Puah—Doing What Is Right..........................................32Chapter Seven: Miriam—Exuberant Celebration and Being Number Two............................35Chapter Eight: Deborah—Resolving Conflict...................................................40Chapter Nine: Levite's Concubine—Abuse and Sacrifice........................................44Chapter Ten: Hannah—Yearning and Promises...................................................49Chapter Eleven: Bathsheba—Authority and Nurture.............................................55Chapter Twelve: Tamar—Victimization and Accountability......................................59Chapter Thirteen: Huldah—Trusting and Speaking God's Truth..................................64Chapter Fourteen: Naomi—Perseverance and God's Goodness.....................................68Chapter Fifteen: Ruth—Hope and Expectation..................................................74Chapter Sixteen: Vashti—Claiming One's Power................................................79Chapter Seventeen: Esther—Acting with Courage and Wisdom....................................82Chapter Eighteen: Daughters of Zelophehad—Confronting the Status Quo........................87Chapter Nineteen: Elizabeth—Claiming Your Dream.............................................93Chapter Twenty: Mary—Pondering and Heeding God's Call.......................................98Chapter Twenty-One: Anna—Knowing and Praising...............................................104Chapter Twenty-Two: Mary of Magdala—Being Blessed and Truth-Telling.........................109Chapter Twenty-Three: Woman Who Hemorrhaged—Choices.........................................115Chapter Twenty-Four: Syro-Phoenician Mother—Calling for What Is Right.......................120Chapter Twenty-Five: Woman Who Was Bent—Joining Jesus in Healing............................126Chapter Twenty-Six: Woman at the Well—Crossing Artificial Boundaries........................130Chapter Twenty-Seven: Sister Mary—Following Your Heart with Loving Acts.....................137Chapter Twenty-Eight: Martha—Hospitality and Faithful Living................................142Chapter Twenty-Nine: Dorcas—Reaching Out with Your God-Given Gifts..........................147Chapter Thirty: Lydia—Networks of Support and Refusing to be Silenced.......................152Afterword.........................................................................................159About the Author..................................................................................161Endnotes..........................................................................................163

Chapter One

Genesis 2:4–4:26

Eve was the first woman in history, wife of Adam and mother of Cain, Abel, and Seth. She ate the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil at the urging of the serpent. She gave some of the beautiful fruit to Adam, and they both saw things they had not noticed before, such as the fact that they had no clothes. The Lord God was displeased. Adam and Eve were exiled from their homeplace.

* * *

The need to rock on the porch that afternoon was painfully strong. A friend's grandchild had just been diagnosed with cancer. She was devastated by the potential loss of a beloved three-year-old granddaughter. Her grief was raw in those early days of the diagnosis. I went to the porch to soothe my own feelings of helplessness as I thought about her fear. While I was rocking, I remembered a time when my own family lost a child to death.

It shouldn't have happened. My brother should not have been born dead. If the doctor ... if the nursing staff ... if my mother ... if, if, if. My brother should have been healthy. He was fully formed and beautiful. My mother blamed herself. The open windows in the houses on both sides of ours allowed the torturous sounds of babies' crying in the night to come into my mother's bedroom. She was extremely depressed for a year.

My brother's death happened when I was six years old. At that time, life as I had known it was over. Death had entered my family and taken away my carefree mother. Now, as an adult, I tried to imagine what my mother's feelings had been when she realized that her precious son would never reach out to her for sustenance. I remembered my own miscarriage; the pain of women who lived in poverty and whose children were condemned to inadequate medical care; and the grief of women who experienced a child's unexpected or untimely death. Even though I tried to connect in my heart with my mother's pain, I knew that I barely touched her feelings of grief.

As our family learned to deal with the tragedy of our loss, I became increasingly responsible around the house. When my last brother was born two years later, I was called "little mother" because I was so involved in his daily care. I enjoyed the responsibility most of the time. However, as I rocked now on my porch, I remembered a perceived wrong when I was held responsible for something my brothers had done. I had to admit I had spent a lot of personal energy in other instances in my life declaring that I was innocent. If he had only ... When you ... I did not ...

As I tried to wrap my thoughts and feelings around this collage of memory being stirred up, I realized that I was no longer alone. I had not heard anyone come onto the porch. I thought the screen door was locked. As I looked more closely, I was shocked. The person sat down in the rocking chair beside me even though I knew I had never met this uninvited "guest." I had no idea who this ... woman? ... was or how she'd gotten there.

I decided that the best course of action was to pretend that no one else was on the porch with me. Maybe then I'd realize I was dreaming and that I was not, really, I was not crazy!

I closed my eyes. After a minute or two of hearing only the birds in the tree, I peeked with one eye open. She was still there!

Since Plan A of pretending nothing had happened did not work, I went for Plan B and the confrontational approach. "Who are you and what are you doing here?"

She replied in a melodic, yet throaty voice, "My name is Eve."

"What's your last name?"

"I am Eve, wife of Adam. You know, in the Bible?"

"Oh," I squeaked, as if biblical women appeared on my porch every day. I rocked and rocked, back and forth. Neither of us spoke. I tried very hard to listen to my...