CLIMBING the LADDER in Stilettos

Thomas Nelson

Contents

Acknowledgments............................................................................................................................................xiWomen and Our Shoes........................................................................................................................................11. Why Am I Working? Strategy #1: Create a Purpose Statement for Life and Work............................................................................92. These People Are Driving Me Crazy! Strategy #2: Become Personally Whole................................................................................253. No One Appreciates Me Around Here! Strategy #3: Adopt Methods for Gaining New Joy and Satisfaction.....................................................414. Is This All I'm Working For? There Must Be Something More! Strategy #4: Discover Gifts in Surprising Places............................................615. I'm Unrecognized, Unappreciated, and Underpaid! Strategy #5: Follow the Four Principles of Promotion and Build Your Personal Brand.....................796. How Do I Get from "Great Idea" to "Dream Come True"? Strategy #6: Organize a Personal Board of Directors...............................................977. Can I Really Thrive in Leadership? Strategy #7: Implement Creative Tools That Maximize Everyone on the Team............................................1138. Who, Me? Speak in Public? Strategy #8: Follow an Approach to Speaking That Works Every Time............................................................1419. I Need Great Mentors, but Isn't Everyone Just Too Busy? Strategy #9: Expand Your Definition of Mentoring...............................................15510. Different Than What I Thought; Better Than What I Imagined Strategy #10: View Your Life Through the Lens of Hope and Possibility......................173Notes......................................................................................................................................................189About the Author...........................................................................................................................................195

Chapter One

I still remember that Monday morning in August. It was a blistering hot day in Manhattan, even in the early morning hours. I spent the typical hour getting ready, doing my hair, and making sure my makeup was just right. I had my coffee and smoothie and then headed out the door.

Just as I entered the subway station, the train was pulling away. I groaned, knowing exactly what that meant. The next eight minutes were like standing in a sauna. I'm sure the guy next to me thought he heard a faucet running, but no, it was just the sweat draining inside my blouse while my hair was frizzing up by the minute.

I rode the subway to 50th Street and then waited for the bus for ten minutes while the heat and humidity did further damage. The bus arrived and drove the two miles to the ferry station. But just as the bus pulled into the station, the ferry pulled out. Another twenty-minute wait. What would it be next? I knew I'd be late to work, and at this point I couldn't fathom the thought of going to the office at all.

By the time I finally arrived, I was a mess inside and out. My hair and outfit were ruined. I was exhausted from the commute. As I sat down at my desk in Jersey City overlooking the skyline of downtown Manhattan, negative thoughts flooded my head.

No one really appreciates me around here. Why am I working here anyway? They don't know my dreams, what I really want to be and do. I work hard, put in the hours, give them my best energy of the day, and for what? A paycheck that doesn't feel like enough? Stress over having to please so many people?

The discouragement brought me to tears. I knew I had to pull myself together. I wasn't being paid to waste time crying at my desk. But how could I lift myself out of this sense of despair?

At that point I serendipitously thought of the young woman sitting in the office next door. Sandra and I had met the first day I started in the Jersey City office. I was her manager, and over the course of the last year, we'd become more than just colleagues; we were friends. I helped her discover some of her dreams and worked with her to map out a plan to align her job with those dreams. She had developed significantly that year, and the satisfaction I felt from having helped her was deeply rewarding.

Thinking of Sandra through my tears helped lift the heaviness. Perhaps she was one of the main reasons I was doing this job and working hard day after day.

Sandra often told me, "You are a gift, Lynette. You've helped me find my way." Recalling this reminded me that my efforts were worth it. Helping people and changing lives do matter. This realization helped me get back in touch once again with the real reason I was working.

THE CHALLENGE: I NEED TO FIND MEANING IN THE JOB I HAVE NOW

Have you ever felt like I did on that Monday morning? There are times when a good job and an adequate paycheck aren't enough for the energy and inconvenience it takes to get through the workday.

Often in times like this we feel especially alone. Everyone else around us appears to be coping quite well. We may look like we're coping, but inside we wonder how long we can keep going. Can we find something that's better aligned with our bigger ideas and dreams? It's probably one of the most common, and important, questions people ask.

An extremely popular book in recent history is Rick Warren's The Purpose-Driven Life. In fact, at the time of this writing, it is the all-time best-selling nonfiction hardback in America. This speaks volumes about where Americans find themselves in their work spectrum-most feel there is still something more to life than just work.

The success of Warren's book falls in line with a study conducted by the Barna Research Group, which shows that half of Americans are "searching for meaning and purpose in life." Author Os Guinness concurs. In his book The Call: Finding and Fulfilling the Central Purpose of Your Life, Guinness explains, "Deep in our hearts, we all want to find and fulfill a purpose bigger than ourselves. Only such a larger purpose can inspire us to heights we know we could never reach on our own. For each of us the real purpose is personal and passionate: to know what we are here to do, and why."

Answering the "why" question is essential if we want to have rich, deep meaning in our careers. Women in particular seem to have something inside our hearts that demands we answer this question. We are made for meaning; we thrive by making a difference and helping others, by seeing our kids grow up to be successful adults who will make an impact on the world.

The reality, however, is that it's not easy to derive this deeper meaning from our work. Some individuals, certainly in the minority, know what their purpose is early in life. They see themselves doing something great and find it natural to forge a pathway to get there. They arrive in their twenties or earlier, when the rest of us are just beginning to realize we've been asking the wrong questions-or not questioning anything at all.

Most of us simply...