The Choices We Make Dictate The Life We Lead

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Contents

Chapter 1: From The Beginning..............................1Chapter 2: Relative Annoyance..............................3Chapter 3: Dad.............................................7Chapter 4: Mary Anne.......................................11Chapter 5: School Years....................................23Chapter 6: The Army........................................29Chapter 7: College.........................................45Chapter 8: The Funeral Business............................49Chapter 9: Going For Your Dreams...........................57Chapter 10: The Family.....................................63Chapter 11: Raising Seven Kids.............................67Chapter 12: Humor..........................................79Chapter 13: Making A Difference............................85Chapter 14: When Dreams Don't Work Out.....................91Chapter 15: Dealing With People............................95About the Author...........................................103

Chapter One

I was the second born to Ray and Phoebe Daniels on November 7, 1962 at JB Thomas Hospital in Peabody, Mass. My sister, Maria (Mini), was 11 months older than me. After that came Maureen (Mo), Raymond Jr. (Sudsy), Anthony (Rusty), and Deidre (Dee).

My parents married in 1960, which was a year after my father graduated from high school, and the year my mother was supposed to graduate. She never graduated, and the shit's been hitting the fan ever since.

Too young, and mistakenly in love, these two intelligent, good looking people with the best of intentions, began twenty years of what I can only describe as "Hell".

Not all my childhood was terrible. My mom's parents, Grammy and Grampy lived next door, which was always a safe refuge whenever I needed to escape.

The other wonderful thing about my childhood was the neighborhood. It was full of kids all the time. Never was there a moment that I couldn't find someone to play with. We played with trucks, we sang, we played sports, we laughed, and we even fought. But oh, what a neighborhood to grow up in! I didn't know it then, but all the kids were my "real" family.

Going to school was a real drag for me, and I always thought I was stupid, but I'll talk more on this later. Suffice it to say, my stomach was in knots at home, and again, every day at school. That doesn't leave much time to enjoy life. Somehow, because of the neighborhood kids, I did manage to enjoy all my time away from home and school.

As soon as I turned 18, I hightailed it out of there faster than a speeding bullet. With a pregnant 17-year-old girlfriend (and later wife), I had to become a man quickly. As difficult as it was, it was far easier being in control of my own life and bringing up a family than it ever was growing up as Ray and Phoebe's kid and Maria's little brother.

Three kids, ten years in the army and 16 years of marriage to the only woman I ever knew and loved, brought me to a new phase in life. I had a new occupation, new state to live in, new wife, and two new children as well. Add a few more years, and two more kids, and you have a very busy and crazy life.

Eight years later after relocating again and hoping to settle down comfortably with just my wife, out comes that guy with the club who's been waiting around the corner. Strike two with the marriage thing came when my second wife didn't feel secure enough to move down to Florida from New Hampshire after I had been there almost two years alone. I made the grave mistake of thinking her unconditional love for me would outweigh my own selfish ambitions. Yet another failure in my life, but one I've gained more wisdom from than any other circumstance I have ever been in.

LESSON 1—UNCONDITIONAL LOVE DESERVES TO BE RECIPROCATED.

My life has been one learning experience after another. I never did well in school, and they taught me the lesson before I took the test. In real life, you take the test first and then you learn your lesson. It's not easy, but whose life is? It's how we handle life's little battles that we become a better person with each day.

Chapter Two

Relatives can be both a blessing and an annoyance. One particular relative of mine, who shall remain nameless, was more on the annoying side for me. My parents thought this relative could do no wrong. To be fair, this person did help my dad out a lot when my mom was in the funny farm. It seemed every year my parents would have this huge fight, and off to the mental hospital my mother went for a few months. Because they helped dad out a great deal, he overlooked anything this person did wrong.

My brother Ray and I were on the receiving end of an ass whipping solely due to this relative more than any other thing in our lives. If you don't remember anything else in this book, remember this,

LESSON 2—KARMA NEVER FORGETS.

I remember going fishing with my best friend Steve Chigas (who we all called, Farn—short for Stefano), and his grandpa, Pooley. What a great day!

We got in this little rowboat, and anchored about 50 feet from the shore. The moment our lines hit the water, all three of us got a bite at the same time. We hit a whole school of flounder. That was my first time fishing, and boy was I happy! We couldn't put the bait on the hooks fast enough. It was exhilarating being 15 years old, out on a boat with my best friend, catching one fish after another. Two hours later they were still biting, and we had so many fish that we had to stop because we ran out of room in the boat. We took home well over a hundred that day.

Back at Farn's house, we cleaned and gutted every one of them while trying to dodge the yellow jacket wasps they attracted. When we were done, I had a big pile of beautiful flounder to take home to feed my family for dinner that night.

When I got home I set the table, mixed the batter, got out the pans, and was ready to rock and roll. I was so proud of catching all those fish and even more excited to be able to cook them for my whole family.

It didn't quite work out the way I would have liked. You see, that annoying relative thing reared its ugly head when they insisted I leave the kitchen to them. When I refused, a call went out to my dad who came swiftly along to let me know in no uncertain terms that I wouldn't be doing the cooking that night. That lesson came with a little physical reminder just to make sure I got the message.

I recall a time when I was wearing my own pair of jeans that I was accused of steeling from the annoying one. Another shout out to good ole dad found those jeans abruptly pulled off my waist along with anything else I was wearing. The most embarrassing part of the entire episode was that it was done in view of my other family members.

I can't even begin to express my embarrassment at that age. Everyone was too scared to even move so they all just stared at me while my father handed the pants to my accuser. After he left the room, I ran upstairs in disbelief. To this day, I can't stand to be naked, not in front of my wife, not even alone.

LESSON 3—PARENTS NEED TO THINK BEFORE EVERY ACTION THEY TAKE TOWARDS THEIR CHILDREN. ONE MISTAKE OUT OF ANGER COULD SCAR YOUR CHILD FOR A LIFETIME.

It wasn't that this relative was a bad person. They were spoiled and...