CATCH!

Thomas Nelson

Contents

Boat Meals from the Deadly Seas to Your Deck.........................................1Excursion Entrees: Unconventional Meals for On-the-Go Adventures.....................29Soups and Manwiches..................................................................55Lose-the-Beer-Belly Salads...........................................................73Snag-a-First-Date Appetizers.........................................................87"Tuck in Your Shirt, but Don't Bother with the Tie" Entrees..........................111Starches and Sides...................................................................143Desserts.............................................................................165Rubs, Sauces, and Dips...............................................................187About the Authors....................................................................207Index................................................................................209

Chapter One

"I'LL SHOW YA THE WAY, KID!"

While fishing my first year in southeast Alaska, I met a guy named Matt who worked on the Aleutian Ballad. He told me that salmon fishing was sportfishing, and if I wanted a true Alaskan adventure, I should go crabbing in the Bering Sea. So after traveling around Europe all fall, I decided to get a job on a crab boat. So after my cousin randomly runs into a crabbing friend and tells him I'm looking for a job, a phone call and seventy-two hours later, I'm on a Grumman Goose, flying from Dutch Harbor to Akutan to meet the FV seafisher, Capt. Monte Colburn, and the rest of the crew— Mongo, Blinddog, Dave, Cyclops, and John.

What was I thinking as I looked around the boat and met the crew? I'm going to sea with a group of guys nicknamed Mongo, Blinddog, and Cyclops ... really?

One of the first tasks I was given was to chain down the stack. Well, given a quick lesson from the guys on what to do, which translated to me as "Blah, blah, blah" (remember, I'm greener than goose crap), I go to take my second bite on the chain with the chain-binder, pushing with all my might. My arms extend in front of me, instead of putting the cheater bar on my chest and using my body for leverage. Well, the inevitable happens, and I lose my grip and the bar starts flying right at me, about to crush my face. Nope, my crotch caught that cheater bar first. Jockstraps and a cup are not normal crabbing gear. As I'm rolling around on top of the stack, wanting to cry, I hear laughing from the wheelhouse ('cause, of course, I'm all the way back right in front of the wheelhouse). I roll over from my fetal position and look up, and here's Mongo, my deck boss, laughing hysterically, then saying, "You're doing it all wrong, Horn." I'm thinking to myself, No kidding! as he tells me, "I'll show ya tha way, kid. Didn't those other guys help ya?"

At this point I figure it'd be best to listen to everything this eight-fingered man has to say! We left town that night, and the next five weeks my life was just a blur. It was halfway through my first trip when my hands turned into clubs. I was sittin' in the galley, eating breakfast, when Captain Monte comes in and sees me trying to hold a fork to eat waffles and dropping it consecutive times onto my plate. He looked at me and said, "Oh, kid, you got it bad."

"What is that?" I asked.

"The claw," he said.

"Well, is it going to get any better?" I asked, and he replied, "It's going to get a lot worse before its gets any better."

And he was right. As a greenhorn, your body isn't used to the grueling punishment of crabbing. And you do one of two things: suck it up or quit! Since quit has never been in my vocabulary, you just drive on, which was instilled in me through the army. So drive on I did.

Everybody had their own way of training you. There were the guys who would watch you flounder. There was Blinddog, who told me how stupid and worthless I was; and Mongo, who kept telling me, "Stick with it, kid, I'll show you the way."

Finally, one day, I hit a groove while setting gear. When we were heading in the house, Mongo patted me on the shoulder and said, "You keep that up, kid. You're getting there."

It was a few days later when Cyclops was pinned under a pot while setting gear. He got lucky. The other stack man was on the stack, and broke the #1 rule of working above the rest of the crew and unsecured a pot without hooking it up to the crane first. On the next roll of the boat he found himself riding the pot off of the stack like a bull rider onto a pot in the launcher, pinning Cyclops to the deck, banging him up but not killing him, leaving us to finish our first trip a man down.

We made our first delivery in the Pribilofs on the island of St. Paul to a floater processer and made a touch-and-go to get new personnel. Terry, a.k.a. Cyclops, was going home. So here comes our new engineer, Doug, a man who had half an arm but was a magician in the engine room.

Our second trip was much of the same, always under the watchful eye of my deck boss, Mongo, who always let me struggle doing things my way before showing me the easy way ...

Cornflake-Crusted Creamy Mushroom Pork Chops Butt-Kickin' Braised Spareribs On-the-Boat Beer Can Chicken High Seas Stroganoff Seafaring Shepherd's Pie Crabby Patty's Chicken Pot Pie Burrito in a Cup Superstitious Stormbird Turkey I Wish This Was More Than a Cheese Sandwich Nuked King Crab Legs In a Pinch Potatoes Mariner's Meatloaf Chillin' Chile con Carne No Time for Meatballs Spaghetti Anchored Accidental Shrimp Skewers Travis Taters Sailor's Stuffed Bell Peppers

CORNFLAKE-CRUSTED CREAMY MUSHROOM PORK CHOPS

oil for frying salt and pepper, for seasoning 2 cups flour 25 to 30 pork chops 10 eggs, whisked 1 box cornflakes, crushed into crumbs 2 (64-ounce) cans cream of mushroom soup 2 tablespoons minced garlic

This recipe is a collaboration of two recipes in one. I woke up from my sleep shift and one of the other deckhands was cooking pork chops coated in cornflakes, so I decided to add that technique to my favorite way to prepare pork chops, which is with cream of mushroom soup.

1 Preheat the oven to 350F.

2 Place a large saucepan over medium heat and add enough oil to coat the bottom of the pan.

3 Salt and pepper the flour to taste, and coat pork chops generously with flour. Dip pork chops in egg and then roll them in cornflake crumbs. Cook over medium heat in oil until golden brown.

4 Place cooked pork chops in a full-size (20 x 12-inch) hotel pan or disposable foil pan and cover with the soup. Sprinkle with the minced garlic. Cover with tinfoil and bake for 2 hours.

Makes 25 to 30 servings

BRO' NOTE:

MAKE SURE TO SEASON YOUR FLOUR WITH SALT AND PEPPER BEFORE BREADING THE PORK.

BUTT-KICKIN' BRAISED SPARERIBS

½ cup paprika 2 tablespoons granulated garlic 2 tablespoons onion powder 2 tablespoons dry mustard 2 tablespoons cumin 2 tablespoons brown sugar 2 tablespoons celery salt 1 tablespoon sugar 2 tablespoons cayenne pepper 2 tablespoons white pepper 2 tablespoons black pepper 1 tablespoon iodized salt 6 racks spareribs 1¼ cups water

Everyone loves rib night on the boat. Since we don't have a grill, these ribs are slowly braised in the...