If He Doesn't Come a Callin': Practical Tips on Dating

AuthorHouse

Contents

1. Sex on the First Date.......................................12. Space and Avoiding Neediness................................53. Time to Cook................................................94. Presentation Is Everything..................................135. Clean.......................................................176. Speak Up....................................................197. Time to Meet the Family (His and Yours).....................218. Reciprocate.................................................259. Be Nice, Not a Doormat......................................2710. Hunting Is Not for Ladies...................................2911. Nagging ... Not!............................................3112. Do Not Give up the Dream....................................3313. Can't Buy Love..............................................3514. Change Is Bad...............................................3715. The Children under the Rug..................................3916. Common Ground...............................................4117. Setting the Tone and the Standard...........................4318. Don't Be Pressed, Verbally or Non...........................4519. Let's Talk..................................................4720. Always Be a Lady............................................4921. Flirt.......................................................5122. Bedtime.....................................................5323. Stamp of Approval...........................................5524. Reputation ... Reputation...................................5725. Handouts....................................................5926. Bad Attitude................................................6127. Class.......................................................6328. Funny Money.................................................6529. Between the Two of You......................................6730. Jealousy....................................................6931. Venture Out.................................................7132. Demands, Demands............................................7333. The Baby Game...............................................7534. Inclusion...................................................7735. Marry Me Please!............................................7936. Down to Earth...............................................8137. Resilience..................................................8338. Wife Material...............................................8539. Industrious.................................................8740. Sensitivity.................................................8941. Intoxicated.................................................9142. Spendthrift.................................................9343. Coming Between..............................................9544. Breath and Britches.........................................9745. Leave the Past in the Past..................................9946. When It's Time to Let Go!...................................101

Chapter One

No! Ladies, don't do it! Having sex with a man on the first date is a wonderful way to kill a relationship before it has the chance to get started. That's not to say that a relationship can't prosper after having sex on the first date, but it starts the relationship off to a very shallow and superficial start. We may even fool ourselves into believing shortly afterwards that we are in love, since the sexual act is such an intimate and personal act for most women. We take men into our bodies, and we tend to form emotional attachments to them very quickly and confuse love with lust.

For men, sex is not so deep! Sorry ladies! Their penis is literally and figuratively an extension of themselves. They can poke their appendages into many different holes and females without catching true feelings. Men can talk lines to make a woman feel empowered, beautiful, and in control, but if we succumb to their sexual desires and our own, they truly have the power. Ladies, do not fall victim to the gift of a man's gab! Once we give into our sexual desires, we tend to become clouded by our emotions; we may really believe that we are in love, but we are confusing love with lust and sexual gratification.

I have often witnessed women lose all senses and control once a relationship has been consummated. Some of us get very clingy and overly caught up. We are extremely emotional creatures by nature; we cannot help it, as it is part of our genetic fiber. Conversely, a man does not have it in his repertoire, in general, to be a walking ball of emotions; it's what makes them who they are. The differences between men and women are something that we must all recognize and accept. Knowing these grave differences, we must protect ourselves and our hearts. Jumping into bed too soon may actually cause some of us to lose our heads and hearts, especially if the relationship does not flourish or work out to our satisfaction. For many of us, the expectations have been raised, as we begin to want much more from a man once the sex has become a part of the relationship. We become very delusional, and in some cases, we heighten the relationship and make it into something that it is not. Sex can be very powerful for both men and women. In some cases, individuals, both male and female, can get too intertwined into the other person. It has been my observation that it is usually the female getting caught up and not the male. Some of us go crazy by calling him constantly, doing drive bys to check on his every move, or straight up stalking a man. All of these outrageous actions will assure that you will no longer have a relationship, and you will rightfully be exposed as the unstable, crazy person who you are; he will definitely stop calling you.

I have been there, and I have witnessed women of all walks of life, some even holding prestigious positions, absolutely lose their minds over some penis. What makes matters worse is when we have a tendency to equate great sex or sex in general with love. Do not fall victim by confusing sex with love. I cannot stress to you the importance of postponing any type of sexual act with a man until time has elapsed, and you are sure that he is the person who you truly want to be in a relationship with, and he has let you know that you are, in fact, the woman who he wants to be in an exclusive relationship with too. If you do not want to have a serious relationship and just want a casual, sexual relationship, you would not be reading this book. If that is not the case, wait on having sex with a man. Take your time to really get to know the other person before becoming sexually involved to avoid having your practical judgment impaired. If a relationship is what you are both after, wait, and you will most likely have a very gratifying sexual experience once some time has elapsed, and the two of you have sex for the first time. Make him wait; he will respect you and appreciate you more if you make him wait.

In many ways, relationships have many psychological aspects, and if he waits, you send a message to him that you mean business and that you are not trying to have a meaningless fling. Making him wait will give you more appeal to him, and it will most likely make him want you more. You will capture his mind and become more intriguing and challenging to him. Men love challenges, even if they don't admit it. If he is truly...