Self-esteem is your sense of personal worth. It encompasses both self-confidence and self-acceptance. In part, healthy self-esteem comes from your awareness of the value you add to your family and the community. In Building Your Child's Self-Esteem, author Yvonne Brooks provides a step-by-step guide for improving children's self-esteem. Practical and hands-on, with clear and concise instructions, Building Your Child's Self-Esteem shows parents how to identify healthy and low self-esteem behaviors in their children. Parents will also learn how to overcome and correct unproductive habits that limit their child's performance. From developing a series of ideas for empowering children toward self-responsibility and awareness, parents will get the information needed to activate their child's potential for maximum success. Parents will learn how self-esteem manifests in children, how children with healthy and low self-esteem communicate, and how healthy and low self-esteem characteristics affect parenting skills. Building Your Child's Self-Esteem provides guidance to help parents manifest and produce healthy, confident, courageous children.

Building Your Child's Self-Esteem

9 Secrets Every Parent Needs to KnowBy Yvonne Brooks

iUniverse, Inc.

Copyright © 2012 Yvonne Brooks
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4697-4675-3

Contents

Introduction..................................................ixHow Self-Esteem Manifests in Children.........................xiHow to Maximize the Value of This Book........................xvSecret # 1: The Power of Love.................................1Secret # 2: The Power of Joy..................................19Secret # 3: The Power of Peace................................37Secret # 4: The Power of Patience.............................55Secret # 5: The Power of Kindness.............................71Secret # 6: The Power of Goodness.............................89Secret # 7: The Power of Optimism.............................103Secret # 8: The Power of Gentleness...........................121Secret # 9: The Power of Self-Control.........................135Bonus Secret..................................................147Scriptural Secrets............................................153Appendix A: Bonus Affirmations................................157Appendix B: Bonus Parent/Child Activities.....................161

Chapter One

Secret # 1: The Power of Love

Story About Love

At age eight, Clayton had sustained a serious injury, when a rottweiler bit him two centimeters from his eye. Patiently and lovingly, his dad told him he was the same boy that he had been before the accident. They continued to do all the family things they had done before, and Clayton's parents found safe ways for him to engage in activities as he progressed through the healing process.

After long months of recuperation and therapy, Clayton was back playing with the same dog, but a physical and emotional scar remained. Teasing persisted in school –so much, that he begged to stay home, even though he was a straight A-student who loved to learn. Clayton's parents continued to focus on his accomplishments, praising his consistently excellent grades. They told him "the accident was something that had happened, he couldn't change that fact, but that he didn't have to allow the accident to define who he was".

Joshua, (a fellow fifth-grader who teased Clayton the most about his scar), was a fifth-grader just like Clayton, but unlike Clayton, he was very athletic, but not a terribly good student. In class, Clayton made it a point to never snicker or make jokes when Joshua would answer a question incorrectly or be the last one to turn in his test paper. After a while, Joshua seemed to notice, and one day, offered to walk Clayton to the school bus after school.

As the school bus began to load, Joshua and Clayton waved good-bye to each other. Later, Clayton relayed to his parents, his interaction with Joshua at school earlier in the day.

"I don't know why he walked me to the school bus today, I thought he hated me."

His dad responded, "I think he noticed your kindness in the classroom, so he wanted to be kind to you. That's a very good thing." Said Clayton's dad.

Clayton agreed, and knowing that Joshua did not have a mom and dad who helped him the way his parents did, he wanted to do even more to help Joshua.

The next day when they got to school, Clayton went up to Joshua. "I sure wish I could run as fast as you", he said.

Joshua grinned. "Whenever you're ready, I would love to go running with you."

"I'd like that!" Clayton smiled back. "I am really only good at school stuff."

"I wish I could read faster." Joshua said with enthusiasm.

"I can help you with that." Clayton said with excitement.

And so Clayton started helping Joshua with his homework, and Joshua started helping Clayton learn the physical techniques for running in a safe and fun way. Joshua's grades were never as good as Clayton's and Clayton never won a race. However, they taught each other the meaning of "unconditional love", that what matters is loving yourself as you are, because that is what will allow you to love others as they are. When we practice the power of love daily, we heal ourselves naturally, and transformation of our families and our communities becomes effortless.

Defining the Power of Love:

Love is the first trait of healthy self-esteem. Like self-esteem, love is highly transferable from adults to children.

Love is a "noun", and it is also a "verb". As such, it has to be acted upon in order to be credible. Love is a motivator that causes us to respond to others with our "actions", not just our "words".

Every child requires love to survive. At an early age, children should be taught at an early age the tools for attending to their own needs of love before they can become responsible for loving others with authenticity.

Do you have negative thoughts about how others perceive you? Displaying love is the easiest way to disarm those thoughts. You were magnificently and wonderfully created for a purpose. The time of that purpose is now! Our world needs you. Your love is the answer to improving your family and community relationships.

As adults we know what the negative impact of a lack of love has in our lives. Imagine how much more of a deeper negative impact that has on a child. Without loving parents (or a loving guardian), many children experience frustration and loneliness. However; because love is powerful and transformative, this can be changed! As you personally practice sincere love, your inner strength will increase and you will build your own self-esteem. The more your self-esteem increases, the more your life will improve, and the more capable you are of loving others.

Love and knowledge work in tandem. When you come from a place of love, your thirst for knowledge grows automatically. Gathering knowledge is key to cultivating healthy self-esteem. When you invest time gathering daily knowledge, on a daily basis, you set a marvelous example for your children of how love and knowledge can form an incredible strong foundation. Don't wait a moment longer to share this threshold with your children. Become a living example of what the power of love and knowledge together can do.

Pay attention to the children around you. They may be some of your best mentors. The quiet love of children has uplifted parents, teachers, friends and communities for countless years.

Once uplifted, the power of a loving parent rarely fails. Parents who put love into action reach greater heights and come far closer to fulfilling their highest potentials.

Every loving action a parent takes -whether taking their children to school, making breakfast, responding to their child's needs, developing family goals, or participating in family activities-is an action that will help maximize both their own and their children's potential as well.

Manifestations of Parents Lacking Love:

Parents who lack love usually:

• Display ungrateful and unforgiving attitudes • Behave irresponsibly • Do not effectively plan their days or organize their goals • Are unclear about heir purpose in life

In addition, they often unknowingly reject the very knowledge that would provide solutions to improve their situations. Parents who lack love transfer these same negative emotions and behaviors to their children.

Characteristics of Loving Parents:

Loving parents:

• Do no wrong to others, and welcomes correction without being offended

• Quickly forgive the...