Finding Peace After Losing a Loved One When someone you love passes away, a part of your heart goes with them, and when a part is missing, your heart doesn't beat the same. How do you accept this great loss and find peace? How do you bring back the happiness you once had without feeling guilty? As you move through this journey, you will: -Understand that healing is about everyone, not just the sick -Experience God's magic at work. -Learn to recognize messages from loved ones on the other side. -Become aware that miracles happen when you believe they can. Those who have passed on are still within your reach. You just have to learn to touch them in a different way. As you look up and accept Divine guidance, you will: -Learn to let go of doubt and fear. -Feel anger and sadness disappear. -Experience happiness making its way back into your life.

Brittany's Rose

Finding Peace after Losing a Loved OneBy Mary Jane Clayton

Balboa Press

Copyright © 2012 Mary Jane Clayton
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4525-5145-6

Contents

Why I Wrote This Book......................xiiiFaith and Hope at Work.....................1Hope Holds Us Together.....................65A Test of Strength.........................103Learning to Heal...........................125We All Heal Together.......................155Epilogue...................................169To Do List.................................173Final thoughts.............................185

Chapter One

Faith and Hope at Work

School Begins

From the kitchen, I heard a squeak as the screen door slowly opened and closed. It wasn't the same sound as when the kids ran in and out. It sounded more like someone was "sneaking" in. Hum? I leaned around the corner to see who it was. There, standing quietly, with both hands behind her back and a sweet grin on her face, was my granddaughter, Brittany. She was just a little thing, not quite five, with long brown hair and big brown eyes just like her mother.

"I have something for you, Grandma," she said. I could tell by her smile she was excited to be bringing a surprise. With her hands still behind her back, she whispered, "Close your eyes." I knelt down to her level and closed my eyes.

"OK, open," she said, as a smile stretched across her face. There, clutched in her hands, were two fully bloomed pink roses. Her eyes beamed as she handed one to me and said the other was for her mom. I reached forward, pulled her in for a hug, and kissed her on the cheek. I love those unspoken words that live inside hugs.

I graciously accepted her gift with a polite, "Thank you, Sweetie. It's beautiful!"

We could hear my daughter, Lori, coming, so Brittany and I hurried and hid behind the wall. She looked at me with big eyes and put her finger over her lips to sign "Sh-h-h." We stood still, trying not to move or make a sound. It was fun feeling like a kid again. Lori walked right past us and didn't even know we were there. Brittany quietly peeked around the wall and waited until Lori had her back to us. Then, she ran out and said, "Mom!" Lori jumped about three feet from the ground.

Lori put her hands on her chest and said, "Good grief, why did you do that?" After we got all our laughs out, Brittany handed the rose to Lori.

As I watched, I remembered when I was little and what a big deal it was to give someone a surprise. It began with having someone you wanted to give a surprise to. That alone was something to be grateful for. Then, you got the idea for the surprise and planned how you would give it. The whole process brings its own unique type of joy.

"Oh, thank you, Sweetie," Lori said, as she leaned over and gave Brittany a big hug and kiss. "This is so beautiful! I think Grandma and I should put our flowers in a vase and put them on the dinner table."

"OK," Brittany said, jumping up and down. Lori found a vase with a narrow opening, filled it with water, and set it on the table. Brittany climbed onto the chair and carefully put the flowers in the vase before moving it to the center of the table.

"They sure make our table look beautiful," Lori said. Along with the beauty of the gift was the precious tiny hand of the giver.

Pink roses have always been Brittany's favorite. She had pink roses on pajamas, dresses, shoes, ribbons, shirts, and everything else. When Lori and I shopped, we always looked for things with pink roses on them and were always so happy when we found something. Do we ever outgrow the thrill of finding a "special gift" for someone we love?

* * *

In Southern California, some January mornings are just as warm and sunny as in summer, and that's how it was on this day. We were getting ready to go on an extra special shopping spree to buy new clothes for Brittany. The next day was to be her first day at a new preschool and she was excited about making new friends. Erik, Brittany's brother, who was just a year-and-a-half old, was going to spend time with Uncle Matt while we shopped.

As Lori and I quickly tidied up the house, Brittany and Erik played in the front room. Erik loved all the attention Brittany gave him. Earlier, he had toddled over to her, and as she opened her arms and hugged him, she said, "He's so lovable." Now that just warms your heart!

Lori gathered up what she needed for Erik, and I went to freshen up a bit. I asked Brittany to come with me so we could comb her hair. I lifted her up onto the bathroom counter so she could watch in the mirror. She liked having long hair and I loved combing it just like I did her mom's when she was little. She watched as I pulled the sides back to make a small ponytail near the top of her head. Then, for the final touch, I wrapped a ribbon with tiny pink roses on it around the ponytail. After fluffing her bangs, I put just a touch of hair spray on them.

Her little face beamed as she said, "Thank you, Grandma. That looks so pretty." I gave her a kiss on the cheek, moved her hair back off her shoulders, and helped her down.

"Oh, Grandma, wait. Can I put on some lip gloss?" she asked.

"Of course," I said, as I lifted her back up onto the counter. I smiled to myself as I watched her press her upper lip slightly against her teeth just the way her mother and I did when we put on our lipstick. For a second, I imagined her getting ready for her first prom. She rubbed the gloss on and moved her lips together with a back and forth motion to make sure it was spread evenly. She turned her head a little to the left and took one last glance in the mirror before climbing down.

"Are you guys ready?" Lori hollered down the hall.

"Yes," Brittany said, as she skipped toward the living room.

This was going to be quite an exciting day. Shopping for new school clothes is an adventure all its own. It's not the same as getting them for your birthday or Christmas. On this shopping spree, Brittany would get to pick everything out by herself, and even buy more than one pair of shoes!

Four hours later, we came home dragging bags and bags of clothes. As Brittany skipped back to her room with a couple bags, her soft hair bounced along behind her. With a few more bags hanging from my arms, I followed. While Lori was in the kitchen starting dinner, Brittany and I dumped all the clothes out on the bed. She put dresses on one side and matching tops and bottoms on the other. Next, she jumped up on the bed and lined up all the shoes neatly across the pillows. I smiled to myself as I tried to imagine what she must be thinking. After arranging everything in its place, she asked if she could do a fashion show. I was all for that, but first we had to have dinner.

Kicking off my shoes, I turned on some soft music and started setting the table. I really wanted to sit down and relax, but I knew how anxious Brittany was for dinner to be over so we could get on with the show. I have to admit, I ate kind of fast because I was excited to see how cute she would look all dressed up. We didn't have to pick Erik up for another hour so this would be a special time just for us girls. This was one of those moments when you stop and smell the roses.

For the next thirty minutes, Lori and I watched as Brittany modeled each outfit. Once, she came out wearing a cute plaid jumper and a different shoe on each foot. We weren't sure why until she put her hands on her hips, pointed one foot out and then the other and said, "Which shoe looks better with this outfit?"

Holding in our laughs, Lori and I...