Understanding a Strong Black Christian Woman through Marriage can be very challenging or difficult but we as men must be strong in the Lord first because with Jesus' guidance we can conquer all James "CJ" Barnes Jr. The Blueprint for Marrying a Strong Black Christian Woman (SBCW) is your go-to guide for understanding and learning how to treat a SBCW in Marriage through scripture. With the aid of the Holy Spirit, The Blueprint for Marrying a Strong Black Christian Woman (SBCW) will . . . Teach you how to treat your wife through Scripture Define the role of being Head of Household Give understanding of submission Guide you in your marriage to become as one Marriage is beautiful, but any mismanaged relationship can cause a person's life to be full of strife, discord and misery. This blueprint contains strategies that will help you understand your wife and what YOU may be doing wrong. "An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels" Proverbs 31:10

The Blueprint for Marrying a Strong Black Christian Woman (SBCW)

She Is Your Partner Not Your PuppetBy James "CJ" Barnes Jr.

AuthorHouse

Copyright © 2012 James "CJ" Barnes Jr
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4685-3037-7

Contents

Dedication...............................................................viiIntroduction.............................................................ixPart 1 We As Men Must Step Up............................................1Definition Of Head Of Household- The Scripture Way.......................3Part 2 What Defines A Strong Black Christian Woman.......................7SBW vs. SBCW.............................................................10Part 3 How To Have A Successful Marriage With A Sbcw.....................13Scriptures Pertaining To Marriage........................................16Part 4 I Am Not Your Puppet But Your Partner.............................27Part 5 Guide For Handling A Sbcw And In Marriage.........................33Appendix Some Scriptures Pertaining To Marriage..........................37

Chapter One

Part 1 We As Men Must Step Up

Let me get straight to the point our young men suffer due to the lack of Godly Men. If our young males grow up without seeing a Man of God early in their lives, I believe they will suffer for it. It takes one Man in the family to stand up and say I had enough of this generational curse and it stops here. We as Men must take the challenge to be an image of Christ for our male population. It starts with childhood; I can't express the importance of how childhood impacts a child's future growth. If a child is brought up where they see their fathers being drunk all the time or never home, beating women, then our young males will pick up those behaviors quick and it stays with them. It is almost subliminal; it affects them mentally and spiritually. We have to plant positive seeds in our young men at an early age they will have a solid foundation that is geared toward knowing our Gracious Father. For all the fathers out there, know that you will be held accountable for all the things you do so why not do the right thing through Jesus Christ. As men let us teach our children to be doers of the Word and let us praise God before our children. Let our young males see strong men praise God and lead prayer at the dinner table. Let our young males see our older Men shout before the Lord boldly and lift holy hands to Jesus. These are the things that must be instilled in our youth; teaching them about their Father Jesus. The Lord has blessed me to own a group home 24-7 facility geared towards young males that have high risk behaviors that need guidance to turn their lives around in the right direction. In dealing with these young males 90% of them don't have a father figure in their lives, seeing this hurts me so much. If we had more Godly Men that were at home teaching their children the word of God our crime rates would be lower along with gang activity! A child only joins a gang because they lack a full family atmosphere.

I am challenging all men to take the lead role of the home through the guidance of Jesus Christ, for we are nothing without Him. Our young men are use to seeing women praise God, lead prayers at the table or anywhere else, or think only woman can raise their hands to praise God. I am definitely not saying that is wrong but I would love to see more men accepting their roles as head of the house hold.

Definition Of Head Of Household- The Scripture Way.

Let's take a look at Ephesians 5:23-24(23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.) Right now I want to focus on verse 23 which Paul states that the husband is head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church.

As men, we must first know that being the head of household you must have Jesus Christ in your life for direction. Being the head of house comes with a lot of responsibilities plus God will hold you accountable for your actions so it is best to establish a relationship with God. I believe as men we take that scripture that Paul says that we are head of household (Eph5:23) and we run with it with our own interpretation. It doesn't mean that I will have my wife wait for me on hand and foot or treat her any kind of way. Head of household jumps out to me as being in tune with Jesus, knowing I am nothing without Him, going to war for my family on my knees praying, fasting, having self control, staying in the Bible, leading my family in prayer at the dinner table, putting my wife and kids before me, letting God use me as a vessel when in time of encouraging, being wise through Jesus Christ, having discernment, staying humble before the Lord, treating my wife like the queen she is, accepting when I am wrong, having forgiveness in my heart, being a helpmate around the house, washing dishes, taking care of the kids to give my wife rest, rubbing your wife feet, scratching her back, making sure you make your wife feel she is the only women in your life, displaying great communication, taking care of your wife when she is sick, thanking her constantly for who she is and praising God for what he has united as one. Do these things and you will have a healthy marriage.

I am still learning and sometimes I learn the hard way with my wife. No matter what you do you can't change your wife into who you want her to be. Only God can change her. We as men must accept our responsibility and control what we do as head of household so it can trickle down to our better half as they would say. I tried and tried to change my wife to the way I want her to be. Let me tell you IT DON'T WORK that way. A word that will help a marriage go a long way is compromising. But what I can do is to treat her with kindness and love regardless of how sometimes she treats me. We as men have to set the tone. We are the leader and our leadership will reflect on our wives. "Attitudes reflect leadership". I know it is not easy but we must strive for the best. Fellas when you play sports for example basketball. Do you shoot to miss or make. I know when I play I shoot to make every shot but I do miss sometimes. You see we are not perfect but God judges our heart and he knows our intentions. Even though I may miss the shot, in my heart I shot the ball to make it and if I miss I believe the next one is going in. If we take that same mentality on the court and bring it into our household divorce rates would go down because we are striving everyday to make it work.

Prayer: Fellas let us touch and agree because in Matthew 18:20 Jesus says for where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them. Lets Pray" Father I stand before you boldly as A Man of God and ask you to send your Holy Spirit to teach me to be the Man of God you called me to be. Father teach me how to be the head of my household as You are Head of the Church. Show me through your Spirit the correct way to love my Wife name_. Discipline me O Father and convict me when I am wrong .Continue to humble me O Lord teaching me I am nothing without you. I decree and declare I will be that Man of God you called me to be and lead my family through you O Lord. My heart cries out to you and only you. I will praise you but most importantly I will worship you no matter what the situation is because with you Father all things are possible. Bless my marriage Lord...