Go BIG with Small Groups

Abingdon Press

Chapter One

People are more disconnected today than ever before. What happened to the Ward and June Cleaver world where community and family was the very core of life? What happened to the neighborhoods of the 1950s where everyone on the street knew one another? What happened to the neighborhoods where kids would run and play without the fear of the kinds of things that feed a parent's worst fears?

The Situation: We're Disconnected

People were safer because they were connected to everyone. In times past we not only knew our neighbors but were also more of an active part of the community. What happened to the relationship parents had with their children's teachers, coaches, and principals? Why don't we know the local grocer or the local police officers anymore? What happened to the days when communities came together to celebrate with one another, care for one another, live life together, and protect one another?

You can probably add ten more "why's" that we haven't thought of, but you get the point. What happened to community?

We saw community happen during the weeks following 9/11. People from all over the U.S. came together in a display of community. But look at the U.S. now, just a few years later. We're once again a disconnected, fragmented nation. What was it about 9/11 that changed the way we acted toward one another, and if it can happen during a time like that, why doesn't it happen every day in our communities?

Community happened because we became connected. The events of 9/11 forced us to love our neighbors more than ourselves and reminded us that we are the community of the United States of America. The question now becomes, how do we stay connected? Clearly in the right situation community can happen. So then what are we doing or not doing that keeps community from happening every day?

We believe the problem starts with our families. Husbands and wives are becoming more disconnected. Most husbands and wives spend at least five days a week in the work environment separated from each other. If that much of our lives is spent apart then it is only natural for each person to build relationships apart from one another. Companies used to address this by having barbeques and parties to make sure their employees stayed connected. Unfortunately, that's pretty much a thing of the past. Since the two work experiences exist apart from each other, the situation creates a disconnection.

What about our kids and school? Remember when it seemed like we all went to one big school? It wasn't unusual for parents to know all the teachers and most of the kids. Today it's not unusual for each child in the family to go to a different school. It's almost impossible to create any relationships with the people at those schools because you're never there long enough before you head to your next stop.

What about the outside activities your kids do? How about the mom who has three or four kids and each one is involved in a different sport or school activity? She runs from one game, practice, or function to another, barely having enough time to get from place to place, much less enough time to build some lasting relationships at any of them.

What about our church lives? Unfortunately, in far too many cases Christians show up for church each weekend, sing, listen to a message, then head out to find Sunday lunch. They are hearing the Word of God, but are they really becoming a part of the church? Are they building Christ-centered relationships that extend outside the doors of the church?

How many men in the churches of today have other Christian men helping them grow and holding them accountable? Not enough. If those men aren't finding Christian fellowship, then they are most likely finding the other kind of fellowship, which usually leads down the wrong path.

Women, on the other hand, are more likely to be involved in things at church. They are building relationships through their involvement in the church, and that's great. But do their husbands and children know one another? Do these relationships exist outside of the church walls or the ministry in which they are serving?

But what about the men's groups that meet for breakfast and talk about things that men need to talk about? Do these men's wives and children know one another? Please understand that both of these things are wonderful and very much needed, but we question whether they create a community in the church.

Many Christians go to church every weekend and serve in the ministry that their hearts are drawn to. This is fantastic and churches couldn't run on weekends without the servant hearts of these fine people. But is this creating community? People can live their lives disconnected from others even while attending and serving in church if they're not careful.

Small Groups Are the Solution

So what do we do? Do we just accept things as they are and move on with our lives? Unfortunately, many people believe that's just the way things are, and they accept the status quo. We aren't willing to do that. So let's talk about the solution to our lack of community.

To put it simply, small groups are the church's solution to our disconnected lives.

Small Groups Provide Fellowship

Fellowship is one of the solutions to our disconnected world. The Bible is full of scripture that says we need fellowship. First John 1:7 says, "But if we are living in the light, as God is in the light, then we have fellowship with each other, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, cleanses us from all sin." The Bible says we need fellowship. So what is fellowship?

The biblical definition of fellowship comes from the Greek word, koinonia, which means, "putting good deposits into one another." That definition implies that we have to be giving something to each other or pouring ourselves into each other's lives for fellowship to occur.

Many people believe that coming to church each weekend fills both the worship and fellowship roles. But if you look at the word "fellowship" as the Bible uses it, you see that it takes far more to meet the biblical standard of fellowship than visiting with people at church or going to lunch together after church. Biblical fellowship can only happen through real community where people pour their lives into one another.

So where can we get the biblical fellowship and community we have been talking about? At most of the thriving congregations in the U.S. you find all of this through small groups that meet in homes. Small groups are groups of no more than fifteen people that meet weekly or biweekly in homes throughout the community, sharing life together through a combination of fun, fellowship, Bible study, and prayer. A healthy and growing small group ministry will unite and connect your church in amazing ways.

Most of the fast-growing, dynamic churches see small groups as an important part of their future growth because they are a great way to make sure their church stays connected relationally and continues to grow at the same time. Small groups may not grow a church, but nothing does more to retain the people who do attend worship over the long haul than effective small groups that provide community.

Small Groups Share Life...