Why All the Fuss?

People would rather do business with people they like.

How did the business lunch become such a big deal? The politically incorrect three-martini lunch is a thing of the past, as is "power lunching." Business lunches have evolved into a regular, acceptable part of business in the last 40 years. Money and careers can be made or lost because of relationships, and the ability to build strong relationships has become an important part of business. People prefer to do business with people they like. You can make yourself invaluable to your clients by making them feel special when you take them to lunch and treat them right. They will prefer to do business with you!

The fast pace of business leaves many executives tired and emotionally drained. When you learn how to bring excitement, energy, and fun into someone's day, he or she will soon begin to look forward to visiting with you. Let's face it: Our clients have a lot of choices — regardless of what product or service they need. For some, the choice of which company they choose to work with may simply come down to price. If budget is a client's only concern, then, as a sales rep, your best hope of getting his or her business may be found in offering the lowest price (or even offering adding value).

However, in many situations, a decision-maker will have enough flexibility that he or she can choose to work with a preferred salesperson. Scott McKain, author of All Business Is Show Business (Rutledge Hill Press, 2002), suggests approaching business in a different way: "The purpose of any business is to profitably create emotional connections that are so compelling to customers and employees that loyalty is assured."

Knowing how to create "quality time," and an emotional connection with your clients, will enable you to take your business relationships to a higher level — and that will result in increased sales. And, as an added bonus, you will likely find that you will enjoy your work more, too.

By knowing what to say, and how to help your clients relax — especially at lunchtime — you can set the mood for some serious bonding. Nothing creates solid relationships the way spending quality time together can, and a business lunch can be that quality time. Once you learn to personalize your business, a prospect or client will be more likely to accept a phone call from you, especially if the two of you recently enjoyed a great lunch together.

Knowing how effective a lunchtime strategy can be, and the impact that it can have on your business, why then would so many executives still prefer to eat lunch at their desk, do paperwork, meet their friends for lunch, or grab a bite at the drive-thru? The answer is simple: For most people, taking a stranger to lunch is as much fun as a blind date! It can be awkward, uncomfortable, weird, or just plain unsettling.

Lauren, a California business owner, shared her reaction with me when she heard me talking about business lunches, and job interview lunches in particular. Even though she had been running a home-based business for more than a decade, and was long out of the traditional job market, she confessed, "I immediately re-experienced the panic I used to feel whenever I had something at stake and eating was involved." She went on to say, "I have always been too anxious to eat in these circumstances, fearing the insides of the sandwich would dribble out, or food would stick between my teeth, or I would eat too slowly and be the last one at the table — all of which has happened to me. I was interviewed that way once and ordered something very bland and light, but it only added to my tension."

Lauren also recounted some past job experiences where lunch had played a crucial, and uncomfortable role.

"At one job," she said. "I coordinated lunch meetings for a group of doctors. I was supposed to eat with them as well. I never ordered a sandwich for myself, and I always got annoying comments, too. In the one situation I was asked, 'Is that all you're going to eat?' Another time someone said, 'You're not eating, Lauren? Why not?'"

Lauren is not alone. But at least she was aware that there was a problem, and she has worked hard to overcome it. Many people don't understand how important it is to be prepared and participate at a lunch.

You can overcome the awkwardness or discomfort that you usually feel when you are out to lunch with strangers, because you know that taking clients to lunch will help you to build your business, increase your sales, and even make you feel better. So why are you still reluctant to do so? Does your reluctance go beyond being uncomfortable or awkward? Could it be out-and-out fear?

Napoleon Hill's classic book, Think and Grow Rich (Ballantine Books, 1987), originally published way back in 1937, identified six ghosts of fear to which any of us can fall prey. Every fear that we have can be traced back to one of these "ghosts." The list includes three that are health-related: fear of ill health; fear of old age; and fear of death. The other three are the fear of losing someone's love, the fear of poverty, and the fear of criticism. (Note: After having left the United States for the first time, he added a seventh fear: fear of the loss of liberty.) If you've never read this book, you should treat yourself to a copy. It is brilliant.

The reason I mention this book is because knowing more about your fears helps you to control them. If you are like Lauren, and the thought of having to take a client or prospect out to lunch terrifies you, ask yourself why. When you look at Hill's list of the seven ghosts of fear, which category does "fear of taking a client to lunch" fall into? Obviously, the answer is "fear of criticism."

I think we have all suffered "fear of criticism" at some time. There are so many things that can go wrong at a business meeting that is held in an office — but conducting business during a meal presents its own challenges. As Lauren said, "What if the insides of my sandwich fall out as I take a bite?" That's just the beginning! What if you knock over your drink, spill on yourself, or have food in your teeth as you review your presentation? There are indeed hundreds of things that can (and do) go wrong all the time! We are human beings who make mistakes, spill drinks, and get...