THY KINGDOM COME

Rather than begin on the East or West Coast, we began on the North Coast. Cleveland was founded by Moses Cleaveland who, like the Biblical Moses, saw and surveyed but never entered the Promised Land. Moses Cleaveland was a shareholder in the Connecticut Land Company, which purchased the Western Reserve, present day Northeast Ohio, from the state of Connecticut for $1.2 million. Commissioned to survey the land and establish a town, Moses led a party of pioneers against resistant indigenous tribes and eventually assuaged them with gifts of whiskey, wampum and beads. Arriving at the mouth of a river on the banks of Lake Erie, he prophesied it would become a prosperous place, and then returned to Connecticut where he died without ever again visiting the metropolis that now bears his misspelled name.

In 1888, after a century of prosperity, the city commissioned a statue of Moses Cleaveland for the town square. When the sculptor presented a 7-foot, 2-inch plaster version, it was rejected as being too tall. Consequently the sculptor then lopped off a couple of feet from the midriff before casting it in bronze and installing it in the square where it still stands tall.

After another century of prosperity passed, there was a mass exodus of the middle class from the city to the suburbs. As its socio-economic status declined and its professional sports teams floundered, some began calling Cleveland "The Mistake on the Lake." In recent decades Cleveland has rebounded into a global city, which also plays host to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. If Cleveland ever commissions another statue, perhaps it will be of LeBron James, the new Moses, for leading the Cleveland Cavaliers back to its future land of promise where there is no need to diminish the height of "le bronze" statue of King James, the basketball player of Biblical proportions. Thy kingdom come in Cleveland as it is in Heaven.

On the second day of January 2015 we hit the road for Cleveland with two of Gabe's childhood basketball buddies, Sean and AJ, who accompanied us for the first game of the Gravity Tour. The drive from Moorestown, NJ to Cleveland is a straight shot across Pennsylvania to the Ohio Turnpike into Lakewood, a suburb of Cleveland, where we dropped off Sean at his grandmother's home. Sean's grandmother, Bernadien, is an octogenarian who has lived in Lakewood all her life, and her parents came to Ohio during last century's wave of Polish immigration. "I absolutely love LeBron; he changed the city. But he is overpaid and he is no king because there's only one King, and he reigns from Heaven," she said.

Bubba, AJ and I proceeded to the Lakewood Travelodge where we had reserved rooms for fifty bucks a night. There we met Joseph, the hotel host from hell. "My name is Joseph and I'll give you ten thousand dollars if your reservation is prepaid," he taunted. There was a misunderstanding between AJ and Joseph concerning pre- payment. Joseph raved at AJ: "You're insulting my intelligence. I own five properties and I drive a Bentley and a Kia, and I did not get here by taking crap from customers."

No matter what conciliatory words any of us offered, Joseph pretended to phone the police and summon them to the hotel, apparently to have AJ arrested for erroneously believing he had already paid for his room. Next, Joseph theatrically raised both arms above his head and tore to shreds the Priceline reservation confirmation number that AJ had presented as proof of payment. Joseph exclaimed: "I am cancelling your reservation because I can." In all fairness to Joseph, he explained that a customer had recently brandished a gun in his face over a dispute terribly similar to the one in which he and AJ were now engaged. All at once, Joseph's rage began to make sense, and we successfully completed the check-in without much further ado.

Sean and AJ are the two biggest LeBron fans I know, and they were understandably disappointed to learn just days before departure that LeBron was hurt and would miss the game they had come to see. The Quicken Loans Arena is the third largest NBA stadium, yet the setting is intimate and the seats are plush. Before tipoff, late sportscaster Stuart Scott was honored with a moment of silence, broken by bellows of Scott's signature call, "boo-ya."

We sat next to a young married couple of diehard Cavs fans. During the original LeBron Era, Tony and Sarah attended a home game in every playoff series. "I always thought he'd propose to me at a Cavs game," Sarah smiled. She also told us about the time she brought her nephew to his first Cavs game. "Somehow he lost his shoe over the railing near the players' tunnel. Not only did the usher help retrieve the shoe, he arranged for us to get autographs after the game!" Tony and Sarah were given the honor of waving the Cavs' flags to rally up the fans in the fourth quarter, and they proudly performed their part in producing pandemonium.

We also met Mike, an FBI agent born in Cleveland who returns to visit family and catch Cavs games several times a year. Mike expressed pride over the progress Cleveland has made. "When I was young, people had to leave here in order to find work because there weren't enough jobs. It's gotten much better, and it's still rapidly improving," he said. Mike coaches and sponsors an AAU church-affiliated basketball team, and had this to say about LeBron's return to the Cavs: "Beyond basketball, LeBron coming back to Cleveland meant so much to the people here. Someone finally chose Cleveland." However, without the King in his court, the Cavs lost the game.

The next day we drove Sean and AJ to the airport for their return home to New Jersey before continuing our exploration of Cleveland, including a visit to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame where the Beach Boys' Mike Love is enshrined. His nephew, Kevin Love, plays for the Cavs. Cleveland loves Love! Whenever Kevin hits a shot, the league's largest jumbotron blasts out a sound byte from one of several hit rock songs, Led Zeppelin's "Whole Lotta Love," George Thorogood's "Who Do You Love?" or the Beatles' "All You Need Is Love."

THE HILLS ARE ALIVE

The...