CHAPTER 1

The Personal Journey of Leadership

Do not follow where the path may lead.Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.—Ralph Waldo Emerson

Once you live a deeply authentic life, leadership willfind you rather than you having to wait for it. Otherswill clearly identify the leader in you, and the trailyou blaze will become a beacon to others.

When I thought I was ready to lead a nonprofit agency as achief executive, I interviewed in three different cities and withthree different boards of directors. In the first two interviews,I was so busy presenting my experience and knowledge that Idid not give myself the chance to introduce my authentic, morehuman self for them to get to know. In the third interview,I presented myself very differently. I listened. When asked, Ispoke not so much of my experiences in business and leadershipbut of my experiences in life—the long journey of supporting awife who battled cancer, my dream to own my own company,and the resulting stress of actually building it. I shared thelife changes that had brought me to the doors of failure andthe mistakes that made me drop to my knees in humility andsurrender. I told of the lessons I had learned as a father of twodaughters and of the beauty of the deeply spiritual life I hadcome to know as I grew older.

I also listened to the board members. I heard that they werelooking for someone who was ethical, down-to-earth, anda defender of people with disabilities. They wanted a leaderwho had been through difficult life experiences and couldlead their agency through difficult experiences of its own. Iwas interviewed three times by two panels of board membersand also by management employees of the company. In short,I was offered the presidency of this agency not because I wasthe strongest fiscal manager or the most educated or eventhe most experienced, but because I was the most "human"candidate they had interviewed. Many shared that piece ofinformation with me much later. They offered me the keysto the front door of their agency because I had learned someemotionally human principles and could be the ethical leaderthey sought. Above all, these volunteer community leaderswanted an ethical, caring leader.

Speaking honestly during those interviews allowed me todemonstrate vulnerability and compassion for myself. They sawhumanness and authenticity because I chose to share it. Theyalso saw a man who had come to like himself (pretty much)through trial and error. Having a troubled agency, they neededan ethical builder.

Leadership is less about leading others and more aboutthe journey of how we lead ourselves. The task offered to usclosely mirrors where we are on our own personal journeys.Life somehow gives us the lessons we need most when it is ourbest time to learn them. The job isn't so much "out there" as itis "in here." The journey involves finding our truth, our voice,and our passion and then aligning ourselves to them every day.If we can live from this freshness, others will pick up the trailquite effortlessly.

Over the years, my personal statement of leadership hasevolved. The main goal I practice now is to live an ethical lifeand be an honest leader by practicing spiritual principles withoutnecessarily promoting any religion or brand of spirituality. Iattempt to treat others with respect and kindness because ofwho I see them to be and how I'd like them to see me. Myleadership journey helped me realize that I never needed to"go" anywhere on my journey. Leadership found me when Ifound the leader within myself. I hadn't needed to trek from jobto job, progress through layers of middle management, watchscores of years pass me by, learn countless leadership concepts,or even wait for the executive position I desired.

I became my own leader when I started to clean up thenegative beliefs about myself that others triggered. I learned tomove from a simple overreaction rooted in anger, shame, guilt,or hurt to a healthier pattern. I looked for what triggered me,recognized it, and approached the same situation with clarityand a more positive self. I began by becoming the leader of myown life. It must be an odd statement to read—becoming theleader of your own life—but I believe it really begins there forall of us. As I look back on my journey, I realize that I wentthrough a spiritual evolution as much as a physical or mentalone. I felt a fundamental transformation from the man I was tothe man I have become. Leadership became the journey, notthe destination, and it remains so to this day.

The inner journey I ask you to take is an important stepto becoming an authentic leader for two reasons. First, weneed to earn and keep the trust extended to us. According todictionary.com, authenticity is defined as being "entitled tobelief because of agreement with known facts ... to be reliableand trustworthy." In other words, we are entitled to others'trust that we can lead successfully when we begin to live ourpersonal lives with integrity—no acting, no hiding, no running,no denial, no blaming others. Authenticity begins with self-acceptanceand matures when we accept our vulnerabilities andthe vulnerabilities of those around us.

Secondly, if we are in alignment with our own inner truth,we can acquire a powerful voice to help transform others andour businesses. Our energy becomes focused, clear, and apowerful magnet for good. When we cannot find happinesswithin, our moral compass goes awry, and we begin to hearthe alluring voice of unethical choices.

The following exercise is a way for you to assess yourself.Careful examination of your personal life is similar to analyzingthe different inner components or departments of your company.This exercise is similar to the Wheel of Life that many personaland business coaches use with their clients. Find a quiet timeto do this exercise and assess the different aspects, or rooms,in your life.

A Visit to Your "Inner House"

This leadership journey begins with an assessment of six majorlife areas. An evaluation of our inner attitudes, values, andhabits will help us understand the success or disappointment wefeel in these areas of our lives. Ultimately our evaluation willlead us to where we would ideally like our lives to be.

Begin with imagining your ideal...