ADHD Strategies For Success

iUniverse, Inc.

Contents

1. Questions You Have Always Wanted to Ask, But ...!................................32. "I've Tried Everything!".........................................................93. Three-Ring Circus—Defining Attention Deficit Disorder......................154. Directions to Success............................................................295. Removing Aggravating Factors.....................................................416. Organization and Structure—Their Basic Need................................497. Medical Treatment................................................................658. Strategies in Discipline.........................................................819. Strategies for a Healthy Self-Image..............................................10910. Strategies between Parent, Child, and School....................................12511. Success Unlimited: the Future...................................................13512. The Spectrum of Specific Learning Disabilities..................................14313. "I've Always Wondered Why"......................................................15114. Classroom Strategies—Teaching the Hard to Teach Child.....................16115. Finding Help for Your Child.....................................................173

Chapter One

Questions and Answers

You have in your hand this book, Strategies for Success. I don't know why you picked it up. But it could be that you have questions like these:

My six-year-old son's teacher has just told me that Jamie may need to be kept back in first grade. He has not learned to read. I never suspected a problem before. What should I do?

My five-year-old is always into things. He can't seem to sit still, he can't pay attention to any activity for more than a few minutes, and he is always acting before he thinks. He is in trouble constantly. What have I done wrong?

My nine-year-old has tried hard, but she has barely scraped by in school. She can answer questions orally, but when given tests or homework, she seldom finishes. When she does, she makes many errors. Maybe she's not as smart as I once thought.

I have tried everything, but Jimmy is still a difficult, unpredictable child. He is lovable but is getting into trouble all the time. Am I a failure as a parent?

My twelve-year-old is in the seventh grade. She has always passed in school, but each year has been a struggle. She seems bright and wants to learn. But she is poorly organized—she can't remember her assignments and forgets them when she does them. She starts out on a task with good intentions but is easily distracted. This year is tough. She just might fail.

None of these situations may match yours exactly, but I suspect you have many of the same feelings, hopes, frustrations, and questions shared by these parents.

Over the years, I have worked with thousands of parents and their children with behavior and learning problems. As I have sifted through their stories, I find one common thread: a string of unanswered questions.

This book, then, is about those questions. More importantly, it is about answers.

Strategies for Success grew out of frustration—mine and that of the many families with whom I have worked.

As a pediatrician and a specialist in child development, I spend much of my professional time working with children who are square pegs in round holes. Over the years, I have searched for a resource that would help parents (as well as teachers and other interested adults) understand their children with attention, learning, and behavior problems. Such a resource should also give them practical, usable tools with which to help their child succeed.

From the beginning, Strategies for Success has been designed to be a practical, honest, and readable guide. It gives parents a general understanding of why all children do not fit into the same mold and why some do not learn the same way as others. Concrete steps for seeking help are outlined. Then, in considerable detail, the book presents practical strategies for the day-to-day rearing of the "square peg."

This book does not try to push any one theory. Rather, it presents balanced view of the facts as they are presently known. The methods developed here are tried and proven ones based on thorough research and the experiences of hundreds of parents and professionals. At each step, this book goes where you as a parent or teacher live and deals with those gut issues of importance to you, your child, and your family.

Universal Questions

When parents seek help, they have a mingling of hopes, concerns, and frustrations. From experience, I have learned that parents whose children are having any kind of difficulty are asking five basic questions.

These questions are not always stated openly, but they are there, at least subconsciously, waiting for answers.

These questions are:

1. Is there anything wrong with my child?

The desire of all parents for their children to be normal and healthy is universal and understandable. Our earliest dreams are of a child with no blemishes—physically, mentally, or emotionally. But of course, that perfect child exists only in our dreams.

As human beings, no child is perfect. In fact, all of us as humans are a mixture of strengths and weaknesses. There is a great deal of variation in development within all of us. These variations of development can at times cause concern. For example, Susan walked at nine months; Johnny didn't walk until thirteen months. Sammy learned to read in kindergarten; Mary is having trouble still—and she is in the middle of the first grade. Are these normal variations, or do they represent some kind of developmental abnormality?

These are common and legitimate questions parents ask. Sometimes all a parent needs is reassurance that, indeed, his or her child really is normal and there is no need to worry. At other times, parents know something is wrong, and they actually are asking, "What's wrong, and how bad is it?"

2. What's wrong with my child?

When their children are sick or disabled in any way, parents have a real need to know what the problem is. The more specific the diagnosis, the more satisfied they are. However, parents often go from place to place, professional to professional, and agency to agency without getting a specific answer.

Not long ago, I saw for the first time a twelve-year-old girl who had a significant reading problem. "What do you understand Kim's problem to be?" I asked.

"No one has ever told us," her mother replied. "I wish I knew." Kim's parents may have been given a diagnosis at some point in time, but they probably were not given one in terms they could understand and digest. Parents have a hard time complying with treatment or remedial programs when they have not been given a clear diagnosis or outline of the problem.

3. What caused it?

This is a most important question to parents. They have a natural need to know the cause of anything that hurts or hinders their...