This book started as a journal. It was my form of therapy; a way for me to process my inner thoughts in an attempt to put them in some kind of order.
I started to write two weeks after her death and as my pen kept hitting the pages of my leather journal that she'd bought for me, I found myself writing to her, and searching for answers that I would never receive.
As the year progresses, the roller coaster of emotions come and go, and come again. After the great shock and emptiness come the guilt, anger, and numbness. They flow around in circles, hitting me like a boxer knocking me off my feet over and over. I wonder if this will ever ease.
I turned this journal into a book in an attempt to help someone in a similar situation to this. I couldn't let her die for nothing. I needed her death to be for something.
She would be proud of that.
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