KEY #1

DEFINE SUCCESS IN YOUR OWN TERMS

PART I: FOUR REQUISITES FOR SUCCESS

To claim the woman you are meant to be, you need to have a clear definition of success. But first, let me simplify what it takes to succeed, at anything. From all the things I've learned about 'succeeding' from books, workshops, mentors, and my own experience, I decided there are really only four essential requisites to success. That doesn't mean they are the only things, but without these four, you'll never achieve the goal. I think you will agree wholeheartedly. Maybe this will help you to see why you have been struggling with some area of your life. Maybe you'll have an "Ah ha!" moment and stop beating yourself up for not excelling when you know you have the ability. The rest of the book is how to master the four requisites. That's the part that took many years for me. I hope an amazing transformation will happen for you. For years, I felt bad about myself because I kept failing– in love and business. I now know it doesn't have to be that way.

D + B + P + P = SUCCESS

1. YOU'VE GOT TO DREAM

If you'd like to be happily married, lose weight, quit smoking, or succeed in business, first you must dare to dream that you can have it. When a talk show host interviewed the famous billionaire, H.L. Hunt, he posed this question, "Mr. Hunt, if you could give our viewing audience one tip that would make them more successful, what would it be?" Without hesitation, Hunt replied, "If you want to be more successful, first decide what it is you want." You may 'want' to get married and live happily ever after, but have you made a list of exactly what that would look like? You say you dream of being a business success, but exactly what does that mean. Does it mean you must become a billionaire to feel successful? If your dream is to get fit, does that mean you need to have six-pack abs? You'll be clarifying your goals and dreams in later chapters.

2. BELIEF TRUMPS DREAMS

Our beliefs and self-expectations create our destiny. You must BELIEVE that happy marriages, losing weight or business success are possible-in general and for you personally. I mean, believe it subconsciously. I would've sworn I wanted to be rich, but those damn unconscious beliefs sabotaged me.

If you set a goal to earn $100,000 but you don't believe you can do it or that it is not possible, you will not get it. Or, if you do, you will quickly lose it. You've probably heard that lottery winners invariably go broke within a very short time. Yes, they mismanage the money, but 'why' do they mismanage it? Because being rich is incongruent with who they think they are. You can't escape it.

"One person with a belief is equal to ninety-nine who have only interests." John Stuart Mill https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/j/ johnstuart132425.html

Belief is very powerful. Here's a great example. When Kathy Miller was 16, she was struck by a car with such an impact that it knocked her out of her shoes. She was left with a twisted leg and foot and severe brain damage. The doctor told her parents that she probably wouldn't live, but if by some miracle, she survived, she would be a human vegetable for the rest of her life. Kathy Miller's mother refused to accept that prognosis. In fact, she gave orders that no one, not the doctors, nurses or attendants, were allowed to utter one negative word in Kathy's room. As Kathy lay there in a coma, her mother played positive thinking tapes by Dr. Norman Vincent Peale and Robert Schuller and she kept telling Kathy, "Every day, in every way, you're getting better and better." For months, she laid curled up in the fetal position and she wasted away to a mere 50 pounds. Did the positive thinking help? Well, 10 months later, Kathy Miller entered the north bank 10,000-meter run, and although 2900 entrants had crossed the finish line before her, there were still 50 stragglers left behind her. She lived and fully recovered. What do you suppose the outcome would have been if while Kathy was laying there, supposedly unconscious, hearing comments like, "Oh, poor Kathy she's going to die any minute. She'll never walk again."? I've also heard that Elvis Presley had a self-fulfilling prophecy that he would die in his early 40s like his mother had. Clearly his prescription drug abuse and lifestyle brought about his untimely death but, what would have been his fate had he prophesied it living to 90?

Here's one more example that is simply awesome. In a recent research done on schizophrenics the beliefs they held about their alter personality were so strong that even physical characteristics changed. The researchers were astonished to see eye color literally change from brown to blue, birthmarks disappear and reappear. Even diseases such as diabetes and high blood pressure would come and go with the various personas.

What do you believe is possible? Are you a fan of Dancing with the Stars? If so, you'll remember Terra Jolé, the movie star and producer. She was born with dwarfism and, at 36 years old, stands just 4' tall. She is most recognized for the reality television series, Little Women: She has proven that people with her handicap can do just about anything. She obviously, didn't have parents like mine who assumed that my minor handicap limited me to cleaning house.

"If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth."

Jesus – Mark 9:23

3. PASSION & PURPOSE

In "Think and Grow Rich", Hill states that the real secret to succeeding is listed about 13 times in the book. I had to re-read the book a few times to find the secret. It is 'burning desire'. Successful people have a desire so intense that they can't help but succeed. But someone might ask, "Where do you get the burning desire?" I find there are two answers to that question. First is 'reasons'. People can do the most amazing things if they have enough reasons. Suppose you want a new car but the payment would be $500 a month and you can't afford it. You might think it is impossible to earn that extra money. Or not worth the sacrifice. Now, suppose your child needed a lifesaving treatment that was going to cost $900 a month, could you find a way to earn it? Of course, you could, and you would! But maybe your reason for succeeding does not create such an urgency or burning desire. There is another, even better way, to ignite the fire, find your 'passion' and 'purpose'.

I don't care how many talents and skills you have, unless you are truly passionate about it you will never be great at what you do....