A debut novel told with humor, intelligence, and heart, a “funny but insightful look at teachers in the workplace…reminiscent of the TV show The Office but set in an urban high school” (The Washington Post), perfect for fans of Tom Perrotta and Laurie Gelman.
Roxanna Elden’s “laugh-out-loud funny satire” (Forbes) is a brilliantly entertaining and moving look at our education system.
Each new school year brings familiar challenges to Brae Hill Valley, a struggling high school in one the biggest cities in Texas. But the teachers also face plenty of personal challenges and this year, they may finally spill over into the classroom.
English teacher Lena Wright, a spoken-word poet, can never seem to truly connect with her students. Hernan D. Hernandez is confident in front of his biology classes, but tongue-tied around the woman he most wants to impress. Down the hall, math teacher Maybelline Galang focuses on the numbers as she struggles to parent her daughter, while Coach Ray hustles his troubled football team toward another winning season. Recording it all is idealistic second-year history teacher Kaytee Mahoney, whose anonymous blog gains new readers by the day as it drifts ever further from her in-class reality. And this year, a new superintendent is determined to leave his own mark on the school—even if that means shutting the whole place down.
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Roxanna Elden is the author of Adequate Yearly Progress: A Novel, and See Me After Class: Advice for Teachers by Teachers. She combines eleven years of experience as a public school teacher with a decade of speaking to audiences around the country about education issues. She has been featured on NPR as well as in The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Atlantic, and more. You can learn more about her work at RoxannaElden.com.
HERNAN D. HERNANDEZ slipped in at the back of the auditorium.
The back-to-school faculty meeting hadn’t officially
started yet, but it felt too late to walk to the front of the room
to join the rest of the science department. He slid into a nearby
seat, its springs sighing at the year’s first interruption.
A presenter from the district stood on the stage, grinning at
no one in particular. She was one of those heavily accessorized,
well-connected former teachers who had long ago retreated
to offices within the district headquarters, emerging at the beginning
of each school year to give PowerPoint presentations.
Behind her, a screen glowed with a picture of a beach at sunrise,
hundreds of sea stars dotting the sand.
All of which suggested they were going to start with the starfish
story.
Hernan pulled a pen from his computer bag. The bag had spent
the summer in his closet, and its reemergence was one of many
reminders that summer was over—no more soccer games with his
nephew, no more helping his father in the backyard or experimenting
in the greenhouses of Hernandez Landscaping and Plant Nursery.
For the next ten months, he’d spend most of his time indoors.
“Good morning, y’all!” said the presenter.
Conversation sounds dwindled as a few teachers returned
the greeting.
“I know everyone is sleepy, but we can do better than that! I
said good morning !”
“Gmrning.” It came out as a grumble. This crowd spent too
much time around teenagers to respond to demands for cheerfulness.
Plus, everyone now sensed that the presentation would
start with the starfish story, which rarely preceded good news.
The door behind Hernan opened to let in a few more stragglers.
He turned in time to see Lena Wright appear in its frame,
the light of the hallway behind her. Her silhouette was slim and
graceful, topped by an unruly crown of curls extending in all
directions. She paused, as if assessing whether it was too late to
sit with the English department. Then she turned her attention
to the back rows, brightening when she spotted Hernan. His
faculty-meeting experience improved considerably as she slid
into the seat next to him.
“Did I miss anything?” she whispered.
“Not much.” Hernan gestured toward the screen.
“I’d like to start with a little inspiration this morning!” said
the presenter.
Lena squinted at the beach scene, massaging her temples
with one hand as if she had a headache. She had short nails and
thin fingers, her bone structure as delicate as the wing of a bat.
“Uh-oh. Is she going to tell us the starfish story?”
“Once, a man was walking along a beach,” the presenter
began. “On the beach lay hundreds of starfish.”
“Looks like it.” Immediately, Hernan lamented the answer’s
lack of cleverness. Growing up with two sisters should have
given him an edge in talking to women. Instead, it had trained
him to make women see him as a brother. Though they didn’t
always see him this way, he reminded himself. His younger
sister, Lety, sometimes mentioned college friends who’d asked
about him, and he knew he wasn’t bad-looking, though he
would’ve liked to be taller. He’d inherited the same tan skin
and sharp features as his sisters, and a tendency toward outdoor
activity kept him in shape. In his classroom, talking to
students about biology, he felt confident, interesting—maybe
even charming. And yet, around the women who interested him
most, he seemed always to miss some crucial opening, some
moment of possibility that floated past without his reaching
out to grab it. His dealings with Lena were no exception. Even at
this moment, her presence alternated between lifting his spirits
and intimidating the hell out of him.
“The starfish had been stranded by the tide!” The presenter’s
eyes widened as she read the creatures’ dramatic fate from the
next slide. “Soon, the sun would rise and bake them to death!”
“She seems pretty surprised by this story line,” whispered
Lena.
“Maybe she’s never heard it before.”
Lena let out a whoosh of breath that might have been a laugh.
“In the distance, the man could see a young boy going back
and forth between the surf ’s edge and the sand.” The presenter’s
habit of speaking slowly and emphasizing words suggested her
past teaching experience had been in elementary school. “He
was picking up the starfish, one by one, and throwing them back
into the sea.”
Click. A dancing cartoon starfish appeared on the screen.
The pointy-headed figure shimmied on the starfish appendages
that served as legs and waved the starfish appendages that
served as arms.
“Nice touch with the graphics,” said Lena. “Really adds to the
story.”
“Well, they definitely got the science part right. That’s exactly
how a starfish would dance if it could stand on its side.”
Lena laughed aloud. The treads of Hernan’s confidence regained
their grip.
Click. Smile. “The man couldn’t believe this young boy
thought he could make a difference by throwing just one starfish
at a time back into the water. There were far too many starfish
stranded on that beach to save them all!”
Hernan tried to think of something noteworthy enough to
spark conversation. Lena wasn’t really his friend so much as a
colleague who often ended up at the same happy hour. He’d first
noticed her when she’d started working at the school two years
earlier, strutting the hallway with braids held back by a colorful
cloth headband. Her real intrigue, however, had started the
morning she showed up completely bald. It wasn’t only the haircut,
but rather the confidence with which she wore it. There had
been competing explanations from Mrs. Friedman-Katz, who
believed Lena was a cancer patient (“Poor thing”), and from
Mrs. Reynolds-Washington, who believed she was a lesbian (“I
always knew that girl was a little strange”). Hernan had hoped
neither rumor was true. In any case, over the following year,
Lena’s hair grew into a halo of wild curls.
Click. “The man approached the little boy who was picking
up the starfish. ‘You must be crazy,’ said the man. ‘There are so
many miles of beach covered with starfish. You can’t possibly
make a difference by saving just one starfish at a time!’”
Hernan surveyed the landscape of seated teachers. The science
and math departments were in their usual seats up front,
within the sight line of the presenter. The coaches lined the
back of the room, where they could slip out to check the action
on the field. Any teachers who could get away with it were
working discreetly on other things. Occasionally, they looked up
with exaggerated intensity, as if absorbed by the suspense of the
starfish story.
“Let’s have one of you read the next line from your...
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