How to Communicate Like a Buddhist - Softcover

"Cynthia's book is well-organized, easy to digest, and overflowing with nuggets of wisdom. Communication is everything. This is a compassionate, clear, and practical guide on the subject. It behooves anyone who wants to improve their relationships to pick up this instruction manual and refer to it often, especially after a tiff with a friend/sibling/parent/lover.

I was very drawn to this book as I have always loved the very simple adage, "mean what you say and say what you mean" as well as one of the four agreements telling us to "be impeccable with your word." Kane references the wise lessons from our greats and goes deeper by outlining for us specifically HOW to say what we mean. She goes into right speech including how we listen and how we talk.

I particularly enjoyed her discussion on some of the ways our current methods of communication are not so productive, such as using the words "should, never, and always." She tells us how to be more conscious of the language we use, both in our heads and out our mouths. It's also true that all of us have our own narratives that we are attached to. Kane offers us some of her own anecdotes and asks us to be kind to ourselves when letting go of our old storylines. She talks about how communication is of utmost importance because it directly affects our relationships. Improving our communication skills, and getting conscious to our listening skills, our talking skills, and our capacity for silence within conversation will undoubtedly improve our relationship with our Self and with others. She also talks about meditation, and shows us how to incorporate it as another tool to improve our communication skills.

Kane explains everything in a relatable & precise way for us to comprehend easily. Clear communication is becoming a lost art of our time amidst a world of texting, emailing, and virtual relationships. This book is gold for anyone who wants to remember the fundamental basics of honest & compassionate communication so they can improve their marriages, friendships, etc.--and thus the quality of their entire lives." --Sasha Tozzi, writer, holistic recovery coach & humanitarian at www.sashaptozzi.com

After the sudden death of a friend, Cynthia Kane realized that life is too short to waste time being misunderstood, misheard, and misrepresenting her needs and desires, and that life could be richer and more satisfying if she was able to communicate with a greater level of kindness, clarity, and awareness.

Kane's book, based on Buddhism's Four Elements of Right Speech, is a simple and practical guide for learning communication skills that inevitably result in better relationships, enhanced self-esteem, and conscious living. The 5 steps for communicating like the Buddha are:

1. Listen to yourself.
2. Speak consciously, concisely, and clearly.
3. Listen to others.
4. Regard silence as a part of speech.
5. Meditate.

When followed, these steps will result in an awareness of what is being communicated to others and to oneself (truths or untruths), an understanding of how best to speak to others, more effective listening skills, and the ability to know how and when to effectively use silence. In short, this approach results in a satisfying and mindful life.