Firestorms Day One


Hot Georgia Damn,
i thought;
almost out loud over a blasting television —
mantle-mounted and crooked slightly;
a butterfly is laughing
wired-born without wings; color-wired
wired-shaky; riddled with desires and all that nothing to become —
in a row of blondes
lined up neck in neck
on a beaten couch
all of them soft as ice cream from a summer county fair
their faces interrupted not a touch
until wherever the last once sat
and the desk interrupted
the avenue breeze
grown calmed down from so far up the street
seeping into the window crack
all scooby-doo and shit
like a funky mist
but that was my heart going TICK TICK TICK
because
while they sat
and my friend drolled over each and every lap and leg
i saw a video
by that metal band RATT
where the guitar player crashes through the ceiling
to solo
on a proper dinner
in an upper-class flat
and i said,
"the only thing more punk would be if he stopped and asked,
'is that a de Kooning, you know, a real one and not a print?'"
like Harry Caray commenting on the Cubs
and i heard the most incredible laugh —
then
i saw a firestorm of slow curls
and eyes
the kind that send men packing
looking my way —
and i was now like
moons
moons crashing into each other — between my teeth
where there was supposed to be breath
and the dust
it just cracked
into a hopeless swarm of bad ideas
secret languages
and future amulettes
my god
i thought,
Hot Georgia Damn;
and this is where we begin.


Home Safe — Heartsickness

home safe
just get home safe
heartsickness, my body said,
my body said stuff, it talked shit like a sewer rat eater
born in an orchid patch
glittering STOP signals
two two
of me watched
one down
two across
"lonelines s"
only five letters, and too long
two words reach across the page of time
and
turn it into the reach of time
destroying this page

when the fixes are new losses
apologize
then get lost
kind of talk

i'd tell you i was so wrong
but how could i
if i stand in this fire
over and over
like
a bird begging for new beginnings
to cast more pain
unto itself
and shield the colors of sky
in
a sad mythology
of
southern export-style lies
riddled
with stains of honey
and
poison.


Babycakes

So,
while you were busy playing cards
I stole the snakes
from the suitcase
Did you win?
I bet you did
Either way you made your money back
Considering, you know
it's just cash you would have spent on me
and drinks
and mice poison
or mice
you know, more mice to feed the snakes
so maybe poison isn't right
and I meant more snacks
tossed over the pull-blanket
always in place
foot-side and glowing blue from movie burns
Now Listen Up,
Babycakes ...
Before the sun begins to rise
and that game goes stale
walk away
act natural
use your lipstick for blush if you hit the head and, you know
go all pale
and fidget-fingered
Before you crawl through the floor
carpet loud red and all
out the golden door
into the parking lot of our room
in that hotel
and find me gone ...
I took the car
yes
But if you act fast you can catch the bus
to anywhere
but us
minus me and the snakes
and the magic
in the dust
good luck
babycakes,
may you always win
for thick claws
and soft skin
dry tears
out the window with my face
on the sky
and what is now left of the wind
the wind of gone.
Annihilator
I have nothing left to lose
and dream loosely before bed
after I take
a handful of prescribed medications for sleep
and over-the-counter vitamins
I think
"let me just die" but so quietly inside
with my quiet voice
and then tell that voice to hush
it is what is left of the ghost
I packed
and moved out of my body
on May 7th
with the help of a somebody ( )


Annihilator

I have nothing left to lose
the love of my life
Blah Blah Blah I think when I write that
or Hollywood
I could go there
because it kills everyone
equally for the empty coast it fills faces pails
and like sailboats
on fire
in a mouth that will not smile
and a schedule
that cracks
water filling up a boat
nobody even looks at the plastic pales
water inside, water outside
endless "whatevers"
but who wants to die like that
  A newscaster loses it on live t.v.
starts screaming "fuck" over and over again
head in hands
"we are all going to die alone"
her wedding ring glistening
in the middle of a report on adopting kittens
and the closing of a kill shelter
in one of the boroughs
then she says, "trust me"
and walks off the set
into consequence
red trees and faces melted safe
grandmother safe
like the lines of her face
safe
back to that
the honeymoon is over and I want to set this place on fire
something is wrong with me
annihilator.


To Flame

to flame
i am
so moth
to sing
i am
so lost
to lose
i am
so win
so where do we begin?
no time for stories
evictions
on birthdays
uptown/downtown
like a job for the sickness inside i have left to rob myself from
any good work
actually
i am not sleeping again
K.O.ed
evening declines
and another break-up
despite
the echo of "please, not now"
this is the finale
the wind-up
the blow-off
the pay-up
what the shoemaker threw at his wife
fat basket case of nerves
hair falling out
alpha-omega-terminate
the crack of doom
the close
last dollar shoved into a sock
the shutdown
the knockout of an infection
that lessens the pain
as you drift in a hospital bed
into extinction
no new beginnings
to flame
i am
so moth
to sing
i am
so lost
so lost
to flame


Time Ain't Nobody's Friend

Without the dress
she is so empty she sees
only empty showers with no soap
and no hot water
in a hotel room
her saints immediately become whatever available t.v. personalities
available
or maybe
street people
visible
through the disgusting curtains
either way
time is nobody's friend
you get
ten kisses, the kind in the air
if the air were your cheek
and your face were a balloon
a bag of air
fuck if i care, seriously
the idiot will stop us
from saying any of this
all that shit on the street
that junk, headboards and bedroom stuff
cars blazing past it on the street
time is nobody's friend
i am sick
in the head
all i wish
is to see you in the morning again
and this
this would all be a bad dream
in a series
Stephen King would be proud of
but
last things...