My Meteoric Rise to Obscurity - Softcover

Über die Autorin bzw. den Autor

ARNOLD KANE"S CREDITS: PANTOMIME QUIZ TV SERIES - PRODUCER/WRITER AUTHOR-AUTHOR TV PILOT -PRODUCER GOLF TIP OF THE DAY TV SERIES -PRODUCER/WRITER MAGIC MOMENTS IN SPORTS -PRODUCER/WRITER WOR-TV - NEW YORK -EXECUTIVE PRODUCER MIKE DOUGLAS SHOW -PRODUCER THE REGIS PHILBIN SERIES-CONSULTANT MAN IN SPACE - (TV SPECIALS)-PRODUCER THE GREAT MATING GAME -(TV SPECIAL)-PRODUCER/WRITER DICK VAN DYKE & THE OTHER WOMAN -(TV VARIETY SPECIAL)-WRITER THE FIRST NINE MONTHS ARE THE HARDEST - (TV VARIETY SPECIAL)-WRITER THE JIM NABORS HOUR -(TV VARIETY SERIES.)-WRITER THE OSMOND BROS. SPECIAL -WRITER THE SUPER COMEDY BOWL (2 VARIETY SPECIALS)-WRITER MAKE YOUR OWN KIND OF MUSIC(TV VARIETY SERIES)-WRITER THREE DOG NIGHT NIGHT(TV VARIETY SPECIAL)-WRITER THE FUNNY COMPANY - SERIES -WRITER THE NEW DICK VAN DYKE SHOW -WRITER A SALUTE TO OSCAR HAMMERSTEIN(TV SPECIAL)-WRITER FRIDAY NITE GROUP - TV PILOT)-PRODUCER/WRITER KEEPING UP WITH THE JONESES(TV PILOT)-CREATOR/WRITER BRIDGET LOVES BERNIE (TV SERIES)-PRODUCER/WRITER HONEYMOON SUITE (PILOT)-PRODUCER/WRITER THE DIANA RIGG SHOW (TV SERIES)-PRODUCER/WRITER THE MONTEFUSCOS (TV SERIES)-WRITER NO HEAVY LIFTING (TV PILOT)-WRITER IT'S ME KIMMELMAN (TV PILOT)-CO-CREATOR/WRITER ALICE (TV SERIES)-PRODUCER/WRITER ON OUR OWN (TV SERIES)-PRODUCER/WRITER

FREE COUNTRY (TV SERIES)-PRODUCER/WRITER O.J. SIMPSON COMEDY ROAST-PRODUCER/WRITER MONTY HALL COMEDY ROAST-PRODUCER/WRITER ONE IN A MILLION (TV SERIES)-PRODUCER/WRITER TURNABOUT (TV SERIES)-PRODUCER/WRITER DUGAN & BROCK (TV PILOT)-CO-CREATOR/WRITER ONE DAY AT A TIME (TV SERIES)-EXECUTIVE CREATIVE CONSULTANT/WRITER. PRIVATE BENJAMIN (TV SERIES)-PRODUCER/WRITER LOVE AMERICAN STYLE (TV SERIES)-SUPERVISING PRODUCER. WEBSTER (TV SERIES)-PRODUCER/WRITER WE GOT IT MADE (TV SERIES)-EXECUTIVE CREATIVE CONSULTANT. HIS & HERS (TV PILOT)-CREATOR/WRITER DIAMONDS (TV SERIES)- "PRODUCER." THE GAME (TV PILOT)-CO-CREATOR/WRITER DOGHOUSE (TV SERIES)-PRODUCER/WRITER JESSE - (TV PILOT) -CO-CREATOR/WRITER BOOGIES DINER (TV SERIES)- PRODUCER/WRITER THE WORLD'S DUMBEST CRIMES-CREATOR.

OTHER CREDITS:

AUTHOR "IF THE SOUTH RISES AGAIN IT'LL BE OVER MY DEAD BODY." - HUMOR BOOK. AUTHOR "SHARING A LIFE" WINNER OF THE 2000 PLAYWRIGHTS' CIRCLE AWARD. AUTHOR "MARRIAGE CAN BE HAZARDOUS TO YOUR HEALTH." - PLAY. AUTHOR "LOVE IS A 4-LETTER WORD.- PLAY.

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"Arnold Kane - my first partner, my dear friend and one of the funniest writers I've ever known. Don't miss this!" ~ E. Duke Vincent, Partner of Aaron Spelling Television, Author of Mafia Summer, Black Widow and The Strip.

"If you want to laugh and see the world through the eyes of a talented comedy writer, get somebody else's book! I'm kidding. Buy this book!" ~ Jamie Farr, Actor

"Arnold Kane is a wonderful writer and this book is full of great stories. My lawyer is going to sue him." ~ Sharon Gless, Actress

"Arnie and I have known each other since we were kids. I admit I don't understand his skewered humor, but I'm here to tell you he's a good guy and a doll. The book is wonderful." ~ Anne Francis, Actress

"I knew Arnold Kane when he first got into show business. Before he was a nobody." ~ Earle Hagen, Composer and Member of the Music Hall of Fame

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CHAPTER 1 THE BEGINNING

As much as I'd like to say I was born in a trunk at the Princess Theater in Pocatello, Idaho -- I wasn't. The Brooklyn Jewish Hospital gets that dubious distinction. Ours was the normal dysfunctional family. My father, Murray, was a wholesale florist and my mother, Betty, was a stay at home mom. I had an older brother, George, who I'm sure barely put up with his younger, nervous pain in the ass brother. My parents seemed reasonably content with each other. I don't remember any fights or shouting. I, also don't remember much touching, hugging or the family standing around the piano singing Welsh mining songs. What I do remember was that we had one of the first TV set in the neighborhood. A 9-inch black and white Dumont. I would stare at the screen every free moment. Since programming was restricted to a few hours a night I mostly watched the TV test pattern. Didn't matter to me...it was still magic. Maybe deep down I knew or hoped that one day I would work in this new medium. Gotta say that those test patterns were more entertaining than most of the network shows today. The entire family loved to go to Broadway musicals. We'd buy the record albums - 78s - and listen to them constantly. I knew the lyrics to every song from every show on Broadway. I think it was these experiences that formed my lifelong love affair for musicals. When I got older I even auditioned for a few. More about that later.

Brooklyn was a great place to grow up during the thirties, forties and fifties. Wonderful neighborhoods, friendly people, safe streets -- kind of like downtown Baghdad today. We also had the Dodgers. God, they were fabulous...even when they were in last place. Ebbets Field was the most exciting place in the world to watch baseball. It was a small, intimate ballpark which attracted the wildest, most bizarre fans in the country. "One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest" had nothing on a typical crowd at Ebbets Field: Hilda Chester a female baritone and her cowbell, Gladys Goodding, the ballpark organist, who when the umpires took the field used to play, "Three Blind Mice," Happy Felton, the host of the Knot Hole Gang and, of course Red Barber, the voice of the Dodgers. There was a famous sign on the right field wall publicizing Abe Stark's Men's Store. If any batter hit the sign he won a free suit. The only problem was the sign was 4-feet off the ground and the right fielder stood directly in front of it. I don't think Abe ever had to give away a free suit. My father and his partner knew the Dodger manager, Leo Durocher so we had a box at the games and as a kid I was often taken into the clubhouse to visit "Uncle Leo." In the mid sixties I produced and wrote a TV series called, "Magic Moments in Sports" and Durocher was the narrator. He remembered me sitting on his lap in the Dodger dressing room. Fortunately I didn't have to sit on his lap during Magic Moments. I was a pretty awful student in school. I failed kindergarten. Never liked it and didn't apply myself during grade, high school or college. Teachers claimed my I.Q. was the same as my neck size. Later in life some friends swore that the picture Dumb & Dumber was based on my school years. While at Long Island University - the only college in America that would accept me...that's the truth -- I got involved in their theater program and found I had some talent in that area. I wasn't a very good actor but I had balls and was never afraid to try. I also, learned about hanging lights, painting and building scenery and being a stage manager. I was like a sponge when it came to learning the technical aspects of putting a show on. That experience came in handy when I began producing television series. I made up my mind that I was going to go into show business. You didn't have to pass Math, Spanish #101 or do homework. I left L.I.U. in a blaze of glory. We were told that in order to get our diplomas we had to attend the graduation ceremony. No ceremony -- no sheepskin. I was pissed. I didn't want some innocent sheep scalped so I could hold a piece of paper. As long as they were forcing me to attend I decided to have some fun. We were expected to wear dark clothes under our caps and gowns. I wore yellow Bermuda shorts and brown suede shoes -- no shirt. I also, carried an umbrella with me. Since the school was having a "Murray the K." Rock & Roll Show in our auditorium...The Brooklyn Paramount Theater -- the authorities rented the auditorium at Brooklyn Tech High School. That's college spirit for you. When my line of graduates were called on the stage; I went up with my trusty umbrella and when the Dean, of the school, handed me a rolled up piece of cardboard - not a real diploma - I suddenly opened up my umbrella - ripped my gown off and jumped off the stage in my Bermudas and ran up the aisle screaming. The place went wild. I had turned into the Penguin from Batman. Never did get my diploma. Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke.