Greeting Your Body

No other form of communication is more universally understood as touch. The compassionate touch of a hand or a reassuring hug can take away our fears, soothe our anxieties, and fill the emptiness of being lonely.

Randi Fine

When you first meet someone you might shake hands in greeting. To enter this book's journey of perhaps getting to know your body anew, you are invited to start by also extending a tactile kind of greeting to your body. This is as if to say, 'Hello, here you are and here I am with you'. From there the relationship can begin to develop.

As an initial greeting, you are invited to place your hands on your head. Find the place for each hand that feels best, such as front and back, or top and bottom, where the back of your neck meets your head. Or you can hold both sides of your head. Go with what feels right.

What happens to your thoughts as you hold your head? It may look like the gesture of 'oh my goodness, everything feels so overwhelming', but the sensation may feel more like quick and easy relief from mental busy-ness and a welcome return into your warm body senses, allowing you to breathe again.

In our busy lives full of to-do lists, worries, decisions, criticisms and challenges, our attention can get stuck in our heads day in and day out as we try to hold everything together. Stay holding your head for a few more moments while breathing naturally. Deepen your breathing only if it feels natural. Let go when it feels like enough.

Touch is an effective connector of mind and body and this connection can be experienced in an instant. Your skin feels alive, awakening your body senses. Touch is proven to decrease the physiological effects of stress and anxiety, lowering levels of stress hormones like cortisol, lowering blood pressure, and slowing heart rate. It is also found to strengthen the immune system. Nurturing touch stimulates the release of oxytocin, the 'cuddle' or 'love' hormone, which can relax and clear your mind. Oxytocin can also induce a sense of trust and connection, switch off the fight or flight response, provide welcome soothing when you're feeling emotional, and raise the level of other feel-good hormones like endorphins. Touch can also help you to sleep better by drawing your attention from your busy mind, and into your warm body senses.

SELF-HOLDING

How would it feel to hold yourself with the same support and care as you would hold a person you love?

We don't always have others around to be in 'touch' with. Also, touch is quite a 'touchy' subject in the way that it reminds us of our relationship with nurturing, body image, boundaries and sexuality. Luckily, in your own hands, you hold the power to achieve noticeable results. Without necessarily knowing it, we touch ourselves many times a day, anyway. We touch our faces, rub our foreheads, fold our arms, play with our hair, touch our necks, rub and squeeze our hands, play with our fingers, place our hands on our hips, rub our lower backs, cross our legs, rub where it hurts, etc. Often through our instinctive touch we are self-soothing or attempting to ground ourselves, even if we are not conscious that we are doing it. As an experiment, next time you become aware that you are touching yourself, you could try continuing, deliberately, and be more conscious of the experience. This chapter is an invitation to use touch consciously.

To follow are some self-holding options for your exploration. They guide you to give attention to different parts of your body and provide you with constantly available ways to self-support. You could use any of them for stress relief, to provide comfort, or simply to connect with yourself and relax at the end of your day. Try them out to find the ones that you like best.

HOW AND HOW LONG TO HOLD

Steadily hold each position for a few seconds, initially, to get a feel for it. If the position resonates with you, hold for as long as feels nourishing. Breathe naturally as you do so. Some positions might feel amazing. Others not right for today. Hold with a firmness or gentleness that feels just right. As you hold, feel warmth and support from your hands. Feel the pulse of life beneath your skin. Wait for a natural shift, such as an organic deep breath or just a sense that you have held for long enough, to let you know when to move on or let go. Explore the holds that you like best and use your favourite holds regularly.

THE HOLDS

1. One hand holds the base of your skull (where the back of your head meets the top of your neck). Place your other hand either on the top of your head or over your forehead, whichever feels better for you.

EFFECT: Almost instantly reduces stress, especially where there is mental agitation. Can clear your mind. Shifts your attention to your body senses and allows you to access feelings, which can provide insight into a given situation.

2. One hand gives the opposite trapezius muscle a squeeze. Hold this squeeze for a few breaths. (Your trapezius muscle is between your neck and shoulder and is a common area of tension.) Repeat on the other side. To end, use both hands to rub up and down the back of your neck and over your trapezius area a few times.

EFFECT: Can release your breathing and relieve the sense of carrying the world on your shoulders.

3. Rub your upper arms.

EFFECT: Raises oxytocin or 'cuddle hormone' levels. Helps you sense your personal boundaries.

Hug yourself, either following your natural inclination to wrap your arms around your upper body, or you can slip your hands under your armpits to hold the sides of your upper chest. Relax your elbows at your sides as you hold your hands flat against your ribs and right up under your armpits.

EFFECT: Self love.

4. Place one or both of your hands over your heart and hold for a few moments.

EFFECT: Mothers and self-nurtures. Putting a hand on your heart while speaking also displays sincerity and can positively influence how others respond to you.

5. Rub your lower back. You could also place one hand on your lower back, behind your hipbone (either side is fine). Place the other hand at the crease of the inner side of your knee on the same side as you are holding your lower back.

EFFECT: Grounds you, energises your legs and encourages a feeling of 'get up and go'.

After holding this position, sweep both hands down your legs, front and back, a few times to enhance the grounding and energising effect.

6. Place your hands in a prayer pose, either touching your chest or with a small space between hands and chest, whichever feels better to you.

EFFECT: Centres, reminds of prayer...