An unflinching verse novel about a teenage boy who is sexually assaulted in an attack he struggles to remember by the award-winning author of Gut Feelings
Jay wakes in a park, beaten and bruised. He can’t remember what happened the night before. But he has suspicions. Jay realises he has been raped — and that his ex-boyfriend may have been involved. Counselling sessions cause Jay to question everything. His new friend Rain encourages his pursuit of justice. Jay wants answers, but his search will lead him down a perilous path. Once the trigger is touched you can't tell who to trust.
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C. G. Moore (Chris) is passionate about teaching and previously taught on the BA and MA in Publishing programmes at the University of Central Lancashire. His second book, Gut Feelings, was published by UCLan Publishing in 2021. Gut Feelings was nominated for the Carnegie Medal for Writing 2022 and won of the KPMG Children’s Books Ireland Book of the Year 2022.
PART 1
Survival
HOLLOW
I don’t remember
Anything from that night.
I don’t remember
How I got
The bruises down my thighs.
I don’t remember
How I woke up there,
Wet grass splayed around me.
I don’t remember
When they scooped out
All of me
From this hollow husk
Of a body.
THE PARK
Head heavy,
Lifeless limbs,
Muddled mind –
Every sound
Slices through my being,
A waterfall of sensations
Drowning me.
I feel for my phone,
Fingertips grazing the cracks.
Hold down the power button.
Nothing.
A golf ball
Whizzes overhead.
I get to my feet,
Stumble into tree cover,
Face drenched in sweat,
Dried blood and
Fresh tears.
SUNRISE
I emerge from the trees
To a ball of blazing red
Setting the Sunday skyline
On fire.
Bones aching,
Body beaten,
Mind battered,
I wonder how something
So beautiful
Can exist
When I’m
So lost?
WET
I traipse through the park,
Avoiding Sunday-morning joggers.
I glance around me,
Dip a hand in my bottoms.
I examine the slick liquid,
Burning bright
Against pale skin.
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