Peter Gammond's qualifications to write a book about golf could quite easily be questioned. His evasive answer is that anyone who has lived is entitled to write a novel about it. The present book is not, in any case, a technical treatise. How could anyone who is incapable of stringing more than three good shots together (and those on different holes) embark on that anyway. But it is, so the author claims, a philosophical view of golf expressing thoughts which he sincerely believes he shares with thousands of others who have suffered with him.

Born not far from a golf course, he did not strike a ball in earnest until invited to play in Oxford in 1943. The very first ball he hit went straight down the fairway and he decided there and then to take up the game. The second, third and subsequent hits made him reverse this decision; and it was not until 1962 that he again approached golf, having by that time been forced to give up more active sports such as Darts and Shove-ha'penny. He joined a Surrey golf club that year along with his friend Alf. It was only Alf's constant encouragement (by always playing rather worse than he did) that has kept him at the game ever since.

Peter Gammond, F.R.S.G.R., S.H.A.G.S* keeps his golf clubs in the garden shed in the hope that one day someone will come and pinch them. He can then collect the insurance money and retire from the game.

* Fellow of the Royal Society of Golfing Rabbits, Member of the Surrey & Hounslow Ambulatory Golfing Society.

Club(s)
No professional or golf shop proprietor would agree, but all that is needed to play a good round of golf is a putter, a sand-wedge, a 5-iron and a ball. Most amateurs would play a better round with just a 5-iron than they do with all the clubs in the world.

Courting disaster
Never be foolish enough to play with someone who is a lot better than you are, even on a friendly basis. In tennis, or some game where it is a matter of being in direct opposition, playing somebody better can often lift your game, even in defeat. But in golf, where it is all up to you, it is courting disaster. The more you try to match their long hits, the shorter and more desperately wayward yours become. If you are the worst player in a foursome you can become a manic depressive in no time at all.

Putting off
It is the better golfer who so often gets in a tangle with his putting, adopting all sorts of strange crouches and getting all twisted up like that chap from Notre Dame. The incurable twitch is awful to see. The poor fellow draws the putter back smoothly enough but as it goes toward the ball the head stops in the middle of the stroke or twists to one side. Overcome by the thought that he is going to miss the hole, he does.

A matter of inches
On the green manoeuvres are minimal. You are, of course, allowed to pick up the ball to clean it and a few inches may be gained this way. Always put the marker down in front of the ball but replace the ball in front of the marker. Even most professionals do this as the action is not usually closely watched.