Respect & Co-operation: What Parents Want and How to Get It

Respect and co-operation are high on the list of what parents tell us they want from their kids. Perhaps you are among the many parents who have an automatic voice alarm that periodically goes off in the midst of an argument and says, I really want more respect and co-operation from these kids! Perhaps you are among the many parents who wonder what in the world is going on to prevent you from getting the respect and co-operation you want. After all that you do for your kids, aren't these simple things to ask for? Well, yes — and no. Respect and co-operation are simple because they are basic needs you have. On the other hand, setting up the conditions to get them requires more attention than you might think.

We have found that you can tap into a flow of mutual respect and co-operation if you are willing to do the following:

Remember that your children learn what you are living.

Co-operate with your children.

Value your needs and your children's needs equally.

Look at your assumptions about children.

Develop and practice the 7 keys that are at the core of
respectful parenting.

Though moms and dads talk a lot about respect and co-operation, we find that confusion surrounding the terms is rampant. When asked, parents aren't quite sure what they mean each time they use the words; they can even mean different things at different times. And, to top it off, the ways parents go about trying to get respect and co-operation often backfire because they haven't been able to show their kids either respect or co-operation — at least in the way this book presents the terms.

Co-operation Is a Two-Way Street

It turns out that many parents, instead of thinking of co-operation as a two-way working relationship with their kids, think of it as a one-way street where kids do what parents want them to do. When kids don't d