Role-Play: Healing Bitterness

MR: Good afternoon. So, what could I share with you about healing and reconciliation that would meet your needs? Would you like to hear me talk about it? Or maybe you have some pain left over from something that happened to you in the past with somebody, and would like us to do it "live" and not just talk about it?

UF: I wonder how I can get past or release a lot of bitterness I have toward somebody.

MR: How about if I use Nonviolent Communication and play the role of the person that you have the bitterness toward? I'll be that person, but I'm going to be speaking to you as someone living Nonviolent Communication. All you need to do is just say what you want to say. Okay, you got the game? Good, now who am I going to be?

UF: My brothery.

MR: (BEGINS PLAYING THE ROLE) Sister, I am very touched that you want to heal this bitterness between us, and by the courage you're showing. What would be a big gift to me is if you would share what is alive with you right now in relationship to me. Just say what's going on however you want to.

UF: I have a real ethical problem with you. You weren't honest with me or reliable when our parents were declining. When I reached out to you to try and work it out, you were unwilling. You just wanted to put the past behind us. That's what you've always done, our whole life. You say it's my problem; you don't want to deal with it. Whatever is upsetting to me doesn't seem to matter.

MR: You've said a lot to me here, a lot of different feelings: Let me check to be sure I understand fully. I'm hearing a lot of anger connecting to a need you may have had for more support when our parents were declining. Did I hear that much right?

UF: Yes.

MR: So that was real, and you'd like some understanding now about how difficult this was for you to go through, how you would've really loved support ... but not only didn't you get that support that you would've liked, but I'm also hearing that some of the things that I did since then in relationship to family matters have left you with a great deal of pain ... that you would have really liked us to have made those decisions differently ...

UF: Yeah.

MR: Yeah ... especially since it wasn't the only time you've experienced that your own needs weren't given the consideration you would've liked. D