A Quick Start to Quitting

Some people drink heavily, recognize that they have problems with drinking, and they quit just like that. They find motivating reasons to quit, they think sensibly, and they follow through. If you can do it, then do it. However, if quitting is more complicated for you, there are a lot of things you can do. This chapter outlines many of them.

Developing Motivation

Recognize that you share with others a universal human goal: to enjoy yourself more and to suffer less. That's motivation at its best; it's a key to success, and it's certainly worth developing.

To increase your motivation, think of the gains and losses from your drinking. Write them down. Then think of the gains and losses you can expect when you quit. Write these down too. Take a close look and notice how you feel. Review what you've written again and again. This builds motivation.

Setting Your Goal: Living Without Booze or Drugs

When it becomes obvious the problems of alcohol aren't worth the benefits, set a goal for yourself: to live without booze. Then set another goal: to get involved in other activities. Commit yourself and follow through, and if you're like many others, you'll soon feel happier and will suffer less.

Because this sounds simple, it may also sound easy. Usually it isn't. Setting goals is easy; following through is not. It involves work, and people often quit working because they believe that it's too hard. It isn't. It's merely difficult, and many people follow through and succeed.

Preparing for Self-Defeating Self-Talk

Once you make a commitment, unfortunately, you can easily talk yourself out of it. You can drive by your old watering hole and tell yourself how nice it would be to have a few. You can have an argument with someone, feel angry and depressed, and then tell yourself you need a few to "settle your nerves." You say to yourself, "it's my only vice, and nobody's perfect." So you decide to drink. In each case, you think and feel before you decide to break your commitment.

Awareness of and change of this thinking is the main thrust of this book. As mentioned in the previous chapter, REBT teaches that problem thinking often precedes problem actions. Yet, often, people are unaware of their thinking. To stick to your goals, you'll do well to develop an awareness of your problem thinking so you can then more easily refuse to go along with it and, ultimately, eliminate it.

When you focus on this thinking, what do you find? Here are some examples:

• You may believe that your thinking is the unquestionable truth about reality and not subject to challenge. You may think "I need a drink" (would you die without one?); "I absolutely cannot quit" (would you quit if you were in jail for two weeks?); "There's no use in trying" (are the benefits of quitting better than the penalties of continuing?).

• Your thinking may be illogical. Example: "Because I have done some bad things, I am a rotten person." Your actions may be rotten, but you're not. You are not your actions.

• Your thinking may be selective. You may remember two or three happy events connected with drinking, and ignore ten or twelve negative things. How long has it been since you had a good, long, happy high? Be honest with yourself.

• Your thinking can take the form of rationalizations and excuses. Example, "I don't have a problem with drinking" — that, with a