Like the great Jesus Christ himself, I had a lot of shit on my mind when I hit 33 ...
I had three new-born future Ireland internationals to feed, a daughter in need of psychiatric evaluation and a teenage son obsessed with uncovering the shameful secrets of our family's 1916 past.
Throw into the mix a sister missing in Orgentina, a wife struggling to lose the weight from her orse and an interfering father-in-law living under my roof.
You can see why, like the Son of God, my life had become a major hassle.
And just when I thought it couldn't get any more difficult, a moment of madness involving - what else? - the opposite sex persuaded Sorcha that I needed to have the unkindest cut of all.
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Operation Trumpsformation is the seventeenth novel in Paul Howard's 'Ross O'Carroll-Kelly' series. Ross books - annual No 1 bestsellers - have sold over one million copies, are annually nominated for the Popular Fiction prize at the Irish Book Awards - where they have won the prize an unprecedented three times - and are also critically acclaimed as satirical masterpieces. One of the series - The Oh My God Delusion - was chosen as Ireland's favourite book in Eason's 125th birthday poll.
Like the great Jesus Christ Himself, I hit the age of 33 with a lot on my mind ...
My old schools coach, Father Denis Fehily, used to say: 'God, life and rugby balls - they all move in mysterious ways.' And I could, like, fully understand that statement?
I had three newborn future Ireland internationals to feed, a daughter in need of psychiatric evaluation and a son obsessed with uncovering the dork secrets of our family's 1916 past.
Throw into the mix a sister missing in Orgentina; a wife, who needed a little - shall we say - encouragement to shed her baby weight; and a set of interfering in-laws living under my roof. You can see why life had become a hassle.
But just when I thought it couldn't get any more complicated, a moment of indiscretion with - what else? - another women, persuaded Sorcha that I needed to have the unkindest cut of all.
Praise for Ross O'Carroll-Kelly
'Snortingly funny one-liners ... there's plenty of gas left in the Ross tank' RTÉ Guide
'Side-achingly funny' Sunday Business Post
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