Never again confuse LEJOG with JOGLE, a Munro with a molehill, or a Corbett with a cairn. Bask in the admiration of your fellow enthusiasts as you pronounce confidently on the comparative merits of an Active Explorer and a Wainwright, and effortlessly learn how to solve any imponderable problem in the Great Outdoors by quoting a key Latin phrase beloved by hikers (and which also happens to be the answer to life, the universe and everything). DO SAY: "There's a fine line between permissiveness and flirtation, and a 'permissive path' may cross this line on a regular basis. Such paths are not legal rights of way. They merely tease the hiker into thinking they are. One day you can walk along one, the next day it may be closed. One minute it's your best pal, the next, it just doesn't want to know you." DON'T SAY: "If out on the hills without a fleece, just catch a couple of sheep - strap one across your chest, and another across your back, and you'll enjoy the same benefits. Sheep have a nervous habit of urinating when hikers pass by, so strap them head upwards and feet outwards. There's only so much work your wicking base layer can do."
SIMON WHALEY has been wandering aimlessly for years and is still trying to locate magnetic north. He has trodden many footpaths, bridleways and cowpats in the course of exploring the British countryside and has discovered that holding the map the right way up sometimes helps. Readers of Country Walking and Country & Border Life magazines have followed in his footsteps for several years, showing a refreshing confidence in his professed ability to find some of the best hikers' pubs in the country. For his forthcoming midlife crisis, Simon is planning to walk the South West Coast Path. Having spent his early career in banking, and latterly in local government, he has realised that the best way out of any tricky situation is to get up and start walking.
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