Fascinating things, babies. So long as you keep a respectful distance, that is, because the little buggers can be really devious. Witness the existence of projectile vomiting.

Which was currently relevant: as of the evening before, we'd got Marilla and her doctor husband, Clarus, over on a visit from Castrimoenium, plus of course the grand-sprog, young Marcus Cornelius, born at the start of the Winter Festival so now pushing five months old, as promising a little bruiser as ever dirtied a nappy and presently ensconced on the atrium couch opposite snoring his socks off against his grandmother's shoulder.

'You want to hold him for a while, Marcus?' Perilla said. 'I have to go upstairs to change. They'll be here in an hour.'

True; it was the lady's monthly poetry-klatsch morning, when her literary pals met to juggle their anapaests, and this time she was hosting. Not exactly my scene. By the time the cultured hordes rolled up for their cakes and honeyed wine I'd be long gone.

'No, I think I'll pass,' I said. 'I'll leave it to the experts.'

'Oh, come on, dear! He's perfectly harmless! And I'm no more an expert with babies than you are.'

True again; it'd become obvious pretty early on that Perilla couldn't have kids herself, and we'd adopted Marilla in her early teens when her bastard of a real father took his well-earned final nose-dive down the blunt end of the Capitol. Even so ...

'No, I'm OK,' I said.

'Coward.' Perilla stood up carefully, prised young Marcus loose, and handed him to Marilla on the other couch. 'You really should take your grandfathering duties more seriously.'

'Yeah, well, I'll wait until things reach the conversation stage.'

Clarus, on the couch next to Marilla, grinned. 'Corvinus, he won't even be able to put two words together for another two years at least,' he said. 'And handling an actual conversation will take just a little longer.'

'Really?'

'Trust me.'

Jupiter! It was a different world, this!

'So what are your plans for today, dear?' Perilla said to Marilla. 'You're very welcome to join us if you like. Albia Tertia's giving a short talk on the funerary epigrams in Cephalas's Anthology with her own translations, which should be quite fun. Tertia's always good value.'

I glanced at Clarus and caught the wince and slight look of desperation. Right; not a literary man, by any means, Cornelius Clarus, unless you could call medical treatises literature. Particularly the ones featuring illustrations of dissected body parts. Marilla wasn't exactly a fan, either, to put it mildly. I could've told Perilla she was on a hiding to nothing for a start, but she was probably only being polite.

'No,' Marilla said carefully. 'No, we thought we might do a few touristy things while we're here. Clarus has been to Rome before, of course, lots of times, but we've never really got round to it. I thought today we'd take a boat trip from the Sublician Bridge upriver to Augustus's Mausoleum. And Clarus wants to go to the Pollio Library. They've got a rare manuscript of Erasistratus he'd like to take a look at. But that can wait for another day.'

'On the sensory and motor nerve systems,' Clarus elaborated.

'Is that so, now?' I said.

'It's fascinating stuff. He also has a lot to say about bodily degeneration due to sudden or chronic diseases.'

'Really.' Gods! Some people had a weird definition of 'touristy', let alone what constituted good reading material. Still, everyone to their own bag. Me, I'd be spending the time m