BEFORE YOU BEGIN

You've been given your assignment. You've been asked to give a speech at a fortieth birthday party, or to give a presentation at work, or to address a sales conference. You know the length of time you have to speak for and you know the topic, but that's it. Maybe you don't even know the topic. You stare up at the computer screen and there, typed very neatly in utterly appropriate font is your speech so far: one word, 'Hello'. The word stares back at you. You stare back at it. You wonder what comes next. Then for a long time nothing at all happens except that your brain starts to implode.

Entertainment

In broad terms there are two types of public speaking. There is the kind whose sole purpose is to entertain — stand-up comedy, for example, and some after-dinner speeches. Then there is the other kind, the majority of speeches, which have another purpose — to toast the bride and groom at a wedding, for example, to inform students about the French Revolution, to explain a new business plan to staff, to pitch for a job or contract, to enlighten people about the pathology of frogs, to thank staff for their hard work over the past year, or to MC a fundraising event as smoothly as possible.

Obviously, the first group of speeches, those whose only purpose is to entertain, must be entertaining to succeed. That's what they're for. But what about the second group? This is one of the most important things I am going to tell you: this second group of speeches must also be entertaining. This is vital. I don't necessarily mean that they must be full of jokes. What I mean is that all speeches must — must — make the audience want to keep listening. That is what entertainment is; it's making the audience want to keep looking and listening to find out what happens next. Any good book, film, ballet, television show or sporting fixture does this. Speeches are the same. Entertain the audience; make them want to know what happens next and your other aim — the imparting of certain information — will become immeasurably easier.

This doesn't mean you have to tell lots of jokes, or pretend you're a comedian or juggle or do a handstand. I'm not talking about being funny, but you do need to remember at all times to package and arrange and deliver the information you are trying to impart in such a way as to make the audience want to keep listening to you.

Giving a speech in which you want to communicate information to the audience is a bit like having sex to get pregnant. Impregnation may be the primary purpose of the act, but it will only really work if everyone involved is enjoying it. If it's not fun, you probably won't achieve the primary aim of getting pregnant. And if your audience doesn't enjoy your speech they're unlikely to remember much of its content.

No matter how vital the information you are delivering to your audience, no matter if it will make them money or save their life, if they are bored by the way in which you deliver that information they will hate listening to you, they will shut their ears and their minds, and you will have failed. Your message will not be communicated effectively unless you have the attention of the audience. If people are looking at their watches, wondering how much longer it will last, or daydreaming about hitting the winning runs for Australia in a cricket match, they may as well not be there. In fact, mentally they're not there.

Interest them and entertain them in the way in which you convey your information, and you will succeed. Get their attention and keep it, and they will be yours. If they are interested in what they hear, they will take it in. If they are bored they won't. So make your speech entertaining. This is simply said, of course, but hard to do. However, there are ways.

Why are you speaking?

The first thing you need to do when you are planning a speech is to work out why you are speaking. It sounds obvious, but many people never bother to do it. For example, at a corporate function where I was the MC I was told that the managing director of one of the evening's sponsors was going to speak.

'Why?' I asked.

I expected the answer to be something like, 'They're paying a lot for the dinner so they want to tell everyone what a great company they are.'

Instead I got a blank look. 'Well,' said the organiser, 'we just thought he should.'

It turned out the managing director didn't particularly want to speak, but because he thought it was expected, he had agreed. The organisers didn't particularly want him to speak either, but because his company was sponsoring the function they felt they should ask him. Predictably, the speech wasn't really about anything and benefited neither the function nor his company.

In everyday conversation we often say things that don't have much point. We make small talk at barbecues because standing in silence next to someone feels awkward. You can't get away with this in public speaking. Everything you say must have a point. Once you've finished saying stuff that has a point, sit down. You're finished. If you haven't got a really good reason to stand up and make a speech, don't do it.

Each speech should have a clearly defined aim that you can write down in a sentence. If you are doing stand-up comedy your aim is simple — to be funny. If you're giving a toast at a wedding your aim may be to inform everyone about parts of the history of the couple's relationship in a humorous way without offending anyone. If you are giving an address at a conference on mice your aim is to impart some information about mice. If you are speaking at your firm's annual dinner your aim may be to make everyone who works with you realise that you appreciate their efforts, to excite them about the future and, if you are the top dog, to make them feel that you are a fantastic person so they will have warm and fuzzy feelings about their boss. If you are the MC at a fundraising event your aim may be to run the evening as smoothly and amusingly as you can while at the same time persuading everyone there to part with as much cash as possible.

If you have been asked to give a speech, ask those who have asked you why they picked you and what they want the speech to be about. What do they want it to achieve? Hopefully they'll know. If not, you need to work it out with them.

Sometimes the request will be very specific. You may be asked to talk about your field trip to Algeria, or to share your expertise on Senegalese oak trees. When this happens then you know what your talk is about.

Or the request may be general. You may just be asked to educate and inspire the audience. Often when I am asked to speak at corporate functions, I am simply told that the organisers want me to be funny, and for what I say to be relevant to the experiences of the people who will be in the audience. That's enough. I then know the aim of my talk — to be funny and relevant.

Sometimes you won't be told anything helpful. Then you have to work out for yourself what the aim of your talk will be. Firstly, work out how wide the parameters are. If you are talking to a group of people...