Two Indian immigrants, Anand, and Gautam are octogenarians now. They grow up in the same neighborhood during our middle and High school years in India where I grew up. They went to professional colleges – Engineering and Medicine. I lost contact with them after finishing middle school with them. Anand and Gautam also lost contact with each other as their colleges were in different towns and their career trajectories take them to different places. They witness the Indian Independence movement during their formative young years. They see firsthand the suppression by the colonial power. Anand's father, a Judge, is a freedom fighter who suffered jail and physical abuse by Indian surrogates. This imprints an indelible tattoo on Anand's mind. Yet, they both take a keen interest in learning English and English history. There is a secret admiration for the British, particularly in contrast with the heterogeneous and undisciplined Indians. This causes a love-hate relationship with the British. In post-Independent India, they suffer parochialism, lack of dedication and honesty, and more importantly, corruption. Anand started work in a then British-owned steel plant, a plum job. The prosperity associated with the job gives him a luxurious life sprinkled with romance, but frustrations come cascading one after another. Indoctrination by his father and stellar teachers makes Anand a stickler to principles. It catalyzes a dislike for India to the extent that he feels that he does not belong there. Gautam after his Medical degree has to suffer fools as well. Independent India’s society has a quota in jobs for lesser capable castes as recompense to past suppression. This is harsh for them who are from a forward community. Indeed, they both emigrated. Though an angry émigré, it is a tortured decision for Anand to leave his country because of love and attachment to his family, and even country. Anand gets a doctorate in engineering in Canada; Gautam after a short stint at the NHS in England immigrates to Canada as well. Several happenings make Gautam Marry Asha, also from India, in Canada. After a few romantic escapades, Anand marries Natalie, a white Canadian, whom he met while at the University. Anand has become completely 'westernized' in Canada. Canada becomes rather disenchanting, though life is enjoyable and happy associated with good earnings. Despite making a few very good Canadian friends, polite but obvious racism, unwelcoming corporate structure, and ceiling in career aspirations prompt them to move to the United States. After several years of our traversing in different orbits, I meet them by happenstance. Our past rivalries erode and we bond in a foreign land strengthened by a common past. We meet once a year along with our spouses in a reunion, each of us taking a turn to host. It is in these reunions that I learn and study how immigration works on the psyche. The US is not a land of promise either. Anand has trouble conforming to group thinking and nationalism. His frustrations arise from standing up to what is right. After several decades of living in the west, in spite of his loyalty and love for the life in the two countries, he does not feel that he ‘belongs' anywhere, India, Canada, or the USA. ‘Belong,' according to his definition, is more than mere physical presence. It is the inner mental state. Their progenies, however, have no dichotomy about belonging in the new land of their birth. It is this sense of ‘belonging', or the lack of it, of the deracinated emigres that is apparent in our reunions. Incidents of several years past bring into focus why Anand may have felt this way. Was it because of the influence of the Gandhian era that he believes in total honesty, even if he has to pay a price for it? Why is Gautam of the same era more at peace about human shortcomings? Are there immigrants from different countries who share Anand's views on ‘belonging’?
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