A complete guide to raising and relating to your pet in a mindful way that leads to calm, intuitively-obedient dogs
• Reveals the principles of the secret language of the animal kingdom to help you communicate with your pet and read their signals
• Offers cutting-edge, unique solutions to everyday canine problems by looking at behavioral issues through the lens of your pet’s emotions
• Shares training exercises and powerful meditative practices to do with your pet as well as on your own to help soothe anxiety, overcome aggression issues, and transform tension into harmony
Are you aware of the body signals through which your dog shares his or her perspective of the world with you? Understanding the language of your pet allows you to communicate better and naturally transform your dog into a calm, relaxed companion for life.
In this guide, meditation teacher and dog trainer Jesse Sternberg reveals the principles of the secret language of the animal kingdom and offers commonsense yet unique solutions to everyday canine behavioral problems. Using case studies that resonate with every pet owner and dog lover, he explains how most of our pets’ issues arise from intense feelings caused by the environment, ourselves, or prior conditioning and how these emotions are acted out by the dog.
Combining mindfulness teachings with animal psychology, Jesse suggests training exercises and powerful meditative practices to do with your pet as well as on your own to help build a calm and peaceful mindset for both your dog and yourself, so eventually you will find yourselves aligned and able to gracefully master even unexpected situations. Enlightened Dog Training offers unique training techniques for soothing anxiety, healing neuroses, overcoming aggression issues, and transforming tension into harmony. Communicate nonverbally with your dog using the signals dogs use with each other and address problems with leash training and guarding resources and territory.
Helping you cultivate empathy, awareness, and confidence to become the peaceful alpha your dog craves, this guide shows how to strengthen your human-animal bond, communicate with actions, and command with respect and love.
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Jesse Sternberg is a mindfulness teacher, meditation instructor, and master dog trainer. The founder of the Peaceful Alpha Project, he has been working with animals for more than 30 years. Jesse lives in Canada.
From Chapter 2. The Secret Language of the Animal Kingdom
Actions Create Emotions
The key to understanding the Secret Language of the Animal Kingdom is realizing that every action an animal makes has an intention. Through her research on “Calming Signals,” Norwegian dog trainer Turid Rugaas demonstrated how dogs lick their lips, yawn, raise a front paw, and even walk in semi-circles on purpose. If you are wondering why they do all these things, and more, it is because they understand that each action generates a subtle emotional vibration in themselves and others. Dogs intentionally use feelings to connect with each other. It is how they broadcast and receive signals. Once we become aware of this simple code, the depth of our empathy spontaneously starts evolving because we love our pets so much, we never want to cause them any distress.
When we give our dogs verbal commands, what they are primarily paying attention to is the emotion within our voice (its tone), our posture (is it confrontational or is it calming), and our relative position within the environment (what is our status in, and our awareness of the territory, and how we are making use of the angles). They perceive all of this information at the vibrational level and they assess, overall, the level of goodness and truth in the authority of our command. In this sense, because dogs think primarily using feelings, you could say that their brains are in their hearts.
Animals do not really have labels for their feelings, but they do know that their experience right now is pleasant, unpleasant, or tranquil. This is the simple part that kids and dogs just get. When things feel pleasant, your pet tends to want to do them more. When they are unpleasant, then it tends to want to stop doing them. When things feel neutral (or tranquil), then life is awesome and it is just as it is supposed to be for your dog. He appreciates the safety of this emotion and behaves with a natural, joyous curiosity that nature intended for all of her creations. In these moments born from tranquility, your dog is incapable of being anything but a good dog (no training required). The trouble with too much pleasantness or unpleasantness is that there is an attachment that happens to the former, and aversion that accompanies the latter. Attachments and aversions take our pets out of the tranquil state, and hence, trigger an emotionally charged response that leads to behavioral outbursts. Many dog trainers encourage owners to be “very excited” when they are giving commands to their dog, yet this is rather foolish because it only revs up the pet’s emotional engine. The wise understand that an overexcited dog cannot also be a calm and obedient dog (in the same moment). Emotions must be acted out of the body, and this is the source of all kinds of undesirable behaviors (lunging, jumping, barking, etc.).
The vibration of tranquility is where all of nature desires to be, including humans. There is a security and peacefulness found in experiencing this vibration for long durations because it leads to blissful serenity and inner harmony. Another practical reason why we would want to become familiar with this tranquil feeling is because this is where your Peaceful Alpha power comes from. When we consciously send a signal that generates either love or fear, (the feeling of pleasant or unpleasant), from a place of placidness, the contrast of the emotion from your dog’s perspective becomes very heightened. Thus, the directive you are giving to your pet will become very clear. Here are the basic emotions a Peaceful Alpha uses (on purpose) to be the master their pet both needs and respects.
Love reinforces your dog’s current behavior.
Calmness means “feel safe and be peaceful.”
Fear means “stop,” “submit,” or “something isn’t safe right now.”
Stress: This emotion doesn’t persist very long in nature. It communicates uncertainty and creates anxiety in your dog.
Love, Tranquility and Fear are the major feelings that a Peaceful Alpha uses to communicate with their pet. Practice tuning into how you feel when you’re around your dog. Do your actions line up with your feelings? If not, you’re confusing your pet (and this leads to anxiety, frustration and neuroses).
Let us take a closer look at how dogs use these principles on one another so we can get an idea of the subtleness of this language, and how it plays out even when we are not intentionally using it. When we observe an older dog around a puppy, most of the time it is just calmly doing nothing while it lets the puppy explore, or do whatever it wants. Calmly doing nothing is actually a conscious action for a dog. The emotion it broadcasts to the puppy neither reinforces the puppy to do it more, nor scares it to make it stop. Thus, the puppy receives the emotion of neutral presence, and realizes its behavior must be ok with the older dog. Communication can only take place in the present moment. Actions, even non-actions, create emotions.
Consider how when we are on the phone, not paying attention to our dogs, they take our emotion of tranquility to mean they are allowed to keep chewing the baseboard or to keep peeing in the bedroom. The key lesson here is that we need to show up and “be in the moment” in order to communicate to our dog. We make our first step toward becoming a Peaceful Alpha with the intention of being present.
Calming Signals
Dogs communicate with their posture by making a myriad of gestures known as Calming Signals. Though there are many different Calming Signals, their meaning always falls into one of three buckets: (1) Me calm down, (2) You calm down, or (3) something in the environment needs to calm down.
Your Dogs’ Most Essential Calming Signals
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